i work. full time.
(actually, i have three jobs. an 8-4 job. a side business. and a gettingoftheground media gig through my gossip website, where i get to interview celebrities and go to awesome events like the Gemini awards.)
(go ahead and judge. i’m okay with it. aliat30 is okay with it. aliat30 doesn’t even feel guilty about it. well, 90% of the time. heh.)
sure. there are days when i wish i could be a stay at home mom. i want to be able to plan playdates and pick Isabella up at school at noon. i want carpool to NOT be such a struggle. i wish i could be there for doctor, dentist, eye appointments without having to take off work. i want to be able to cook dinner every single night. i want to not have to rely on a nanny. i want to show up early at carpool in my lululemons to chat with all the other moms instead of showing up at the last minute in my work clothes. i want to be able to volunteer at school and go on the pumpkin patch trips.
sure, i want those things.
but i also WANT to work.
Being a working mom makes me a better mom to my children. it makes me a better wife to my husband. and it makes me a better person to myself.
it’s as simple as that.
i spent 3 1/2 years as a SAHM. and while i enjoyed spending the time with my bunnies and taking them to mommy and baby fitness and the park (well, that’s a lie. i absolutely hate the mothereffing park) and music classes and meeting friends for lunch/playdates it was HARD. there were days in the dead of winter where i would cry at the thought of having to bundle both children up in snowsuits, buckle them in the car, take them out, buy the milk, and schlep them back home. i resented my husband who used to be able to get up and LEAVE and then come home to a home-cooked meal and a family room that had been cleaned seventy eight times.
i would shove the kids at him. TAKE YOUR CHILDREN, i’d say. i resented my children at times and felt like a total asshole.
so, i went back to work.
where i now spend the hours of 8-4 on my own. i drink my coffee in peace. i answer emails. i get to use my brain (i have a masters degree, god damnit). i can pee without an audience. i can wear heels! i can eat my lunch without cutting someone’s food, getting someone a drink, and cleaning up a spill. i can gossip around the proverbial water cooler. i don’t have to wipe anyone’s ass. i can become an actual for reals published author. i can be ME.
but at the end of the day, i’m theirs. i come home and I’M HAPPY TO SEE THEM. i can’t wait to get the hugs when i walk through the door. i can’t wait to hear about their days. i can’t wait to listen to them reading their books to me. i actually enjoy my children.
and while i don’t get as many clocked hours with my kids as stay at home moms do, i get quality time.
(here’s the portion of the show where i give you that little disclaimer and tell y’all that even though i know some of you are judging me…i’m not a judger by nature. if you are stay at home mom…awesome! if you are a working mom…awesome! you have to do what works for you.)
and my children? THEY KNOW. i can see it on their faces. they know.
os. if you want to know what i dragged my husband to did last night, click over here. interesting tidbit. miss motherbumper was there, sitting in the row behind me, only i didn’t find out until this morning. she promises that she isn’t stalking me…only now that i think about it, i kinda wish she was…heh.
51