July 1 08

okay…here’s a question for all of you. how the fuck do you even pronounce the word ‘meme’?? is it meem? or meemee? or maymay? anyway, i got tagged for one by the lovely, lovely, lovely Kristin (that’s Kristin with two “i”s) over at Camels & Chocolate.  i clicked over to her site after noticing a comment she left somewhere….Heather B’s? maybe?..anyway, the comment was something that i could have said…and once i started reading her site, we were instant friends. she’s like me…only entirely more awesome. example…i get to interview Canadian celebrities who wear briefs…and she gets to interview this pair of briefs…

yes, yes, she wins. (also? is it hot in here?)

anyway, she’s asked me to do this meme (however you pronounce it) and since it’s Kristin, i’m all over it…even though this is a hard one!

Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn’t seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life? You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize about you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love…

1. i eat hot dogs now!

2. old men buy me coffees all the time at Tim Horton’s in the mornings. (oh, yes, have i mentioned i became a Canadian? i claimed my maternal canadian citizenship and jumped ship and moved to the great white north. i *think* i have a slight Canadian accent, but i don’t say sore-y) but i’ve NEVER BEEN HIT ON. EVER.

3. i birthed 3 children in 5 years. they are the loves of my life, and the banes of my existence. and just about the funniest people on earth.  i asked them last night what they want to be when they grow up and they said:

Emily: A supermodel. duh.
Josh: Indiana Jones.
Isabella: when i grow up i want to have boobies.

ahem. out of the mouths of babes.

4. it took me almost 30 years, but i truly have the best friends a girl could have. and i get to go on trips with them…whether it be bowling (just because i’m a cheesehead and i LOVE bowling) or all the way to St. Lucia. They are awesome. they are my family…because my family does things like forget my birthday…

5. i’m a published author, more than 10 times over. sure, the books were written for first graders and they have titles like “To the Rescue” and “Home Run” and…my favorite…wait for it…”Salad”. but they are real books. and they have my name on them.

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6.  i got married as an infant (5 days shy of turning 20. yes, it’s true). and we have almost no pictures to show for it. because i made the mistake of allowing my mother to plan my wedding. She hired a douche-y photographer who took very few pictures. and the ones he took? SHIT. she hired two wedding coordinators who turned my wedding into more of a backyard hoedown than a classy wedding. did i mention the yellow bows???!! YEEHAW!

7. i’m a rockstar. well, i will be. i write an entertainment column, Juice, for urbanmoms.ca and it’s taken me places i never thought were possible, and it’s only going to get better. i get to go to parties and work the red carpet. i get to interview celebrities…i mean, seriously, celebrities who are judges on So You Think You Can Dance. (it may not be David Beckham…but it’s a START)

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8. i discovered Argentina in 2004. the world’s best Brazilian waxer. and i’ll never go back.

9. oh, and also? i go commando more often than not. and only flashed my Britney once. and it was in the parking lot of my local library (where, incidentally, i spend a tremendous amount of time. and where, also incidentally, i get picked up by 14-year-old boys) and i was getting out of my car. and i flashed a rabbi. i don’t know who was more traumatized.

10. i’m 30. THIRTY. and i love it. i did the marrying and babying thing in my twenties and i’m really looking forward to enjoying every minute of my thirties. it took me a long time but i realized that i’m HOT, i’m SMART, and i’m AWESOME.

okay, okay, now i have to tag 5 people to do this…hmm…today i’m tagging Canadians…because, well, it’s Canada Day, of course!!!

Haley-O over at The Cheaty Monkey

Andi over at Poot and Cubby

Beck over at Frog and Toad are Still Friends

Metro (can i say your name yet?) over at Metro Mama

and

Amy over at Assertagirl

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  1. I mean, really, who doesn’t want to be Indiana Jones?

    SciFi Dads last blog post..Rainy Day Weekend

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    Comment by SciFi Dad on July 1, 2008
  2. How did I not know that you were published??

    I am now worried that I “sorry” wrong. You’ll need to correct me in SF :)

    Angellas last blog post..Like A Frog In A Blender

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    Comment by Angella on July 1, 2008
  3. Boobies are highly overrated.

    WOW! You are one busy and talented woman.

    gorillabunss last blog post..sanity

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    Comment by gorillabuns on July 1, 2008
  4. You Are awesome Ali. But I think you need to work on interviewing David Beckham – cause he is the hottest thing in underwear. Ever. Love ya!

    monstergirlees last blog post..

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    Comment by monstergirlee on July 1, 2008
  5. It took me a while to think about sore-y, sorry, should it be sore-ree? Anyway, you know what…you really are hot..because you ARE and also because you know it. Very cool.

    porters last blog post..

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    Comment by porter on July 1, 2008
  6. I saw a blog that had a button that said Sorry, NO TAGS! I’m tempted.
    I looked up MEME once. Here’s my post on it sorry for the link in your comments….
    http://tinyurl.com/596c2a

    I’m now calling you hotsmartawesome.

    [Reply]

    Comment by good&crazy on July 1, 2008
  7. Ugh wedding photographer. I am so so disappointed with my choice. We went with a friend of a friend that took really great pics, but not professional. I should have put out the money for professional. There is not enough photoshopping skills in the WORLD to fix up some of those shots.

    [Reply]

    Comment by sam on July 1, 2008
  8. You may want to warn off the supermodel thing – I mean, one did just take a swan dive off a building (AND IT WAS SUICID). THat’s my dose of happy dousing for the morning.

    Maris last blog post..Links Times Three?

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    Comment by Mari on July 1, 2008
  9. oh my GOD i’m drooling !!!!!now i have to back and read your post Ali

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on July 1, 2008
  10. I love this line:

    i realized that i’m HOT, i’m SMART, and i’m AWESOME.

    I wish more women thought the same of themselves.

    Kristies last blog post..I survived. Barely.

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    Comment by Kristie on July 1, 2008
  11. goddamned Beckham and his frickin’ 10-PACK. I didn’t even know there were ten. He ruins women for the rest of us. Caught my wife sneaking a peek at him in People or something on the plane (to be fair, I was reading a Maxim, that she bought for me) and I just thought “there aren’t enough situps in the world.”

    [Reply]

    Comment by Backpacking Dad on July 1, 2008
  12. oh Ali you are awesome! i just asked my 3 year old what she wants to be when she grows up and she wants to be in movies and the changeling my 7 year old wants to make furniture chairs amd work with fabric…

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on July 1, 2008
  13. I really liked this post!

    fringess last blog post..Questions for the universe

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    Comment by fringes on July 1, 2008
  14. Thank you for posting the lovely young man in his drawers…. made my morning!!

    Sarahs last blog post..Quote of the Week

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    Comment by Sarah on July 1, 2008
  15. Isabella, you and me both. YOU AND ME BOTH.

    Also, Ali, you really are so hot and so awesome. I can hardly wait to meet you.

    She Likes Purples last blog post..Timeline: Twenty

    [Reply]

    Comment by She Likes Purple on July 1, 2008
  16. I am SO not into David Beckham. Like, that picture? Does NOTHING for me….

    And, OMIGOSH, “SALAD”! My favourite book of all time! ;) hee! If I ever start a bookclub, it’ll be NUMBER ONE. So cute.

    Within the next 15 years, you will publish your Youth novel, right!? And, you’ll be a rockstar (well, you are one already, foshizzle)!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Haley-O on July 1, 2008
  17. I just can’t get over that Beckham picture. Its just…. dirty.

    I must read your books!

    I was 19 when I got married, too, so I’m glad to see that it might work out:) It was so embarrassing on my honeymoon because we had to eat with other couples, and they were like, “Have some wine,” and I was like, “I can’t because I’m a 19 year old Mormon.”

    Ugh!!

    Britts last blog post..Did You Hear The Big News?

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    Comment by Britt on July 1, 2008
  18. I’ve wondered about that too … I pronounce it “mem”.

    Interesting meme, though. Divorced. Married. Bought a condo. Had a bunch of jobs.

    So much has happened!

    Teena in Torontos last blog post..The 2nd Canadian Book Challenge, Eh?

    [Reply]

    Comment by Teena in Toronto on July 1, 2008
  19. I wanted boobies too. And now I have them and I end up flashing a lot of people. Teach her to control those suckers early on.

    Heather B.s last blog post..Fight and Flight

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    Comment by Heather B. on July 1, 2008
  20. I always said “meem” til one day my brother called me and said, “I read your meemee, it was pretty funny.” Now I have no idea.

    I loved this! I agree, quite an exciting life. And the little ones are adorable.

    marys last blog post..Month Motherf’ing End

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    Comment by mary on July 1, 2008
  21. I say sorry ‘saw-ree’, but I’m from Kentucky. I suppose it’s excusable.

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    Comment by Shamelessly Sassy on July 1, 2008
  22. It sounds like you are doing pretty well! For a Canadian…

    Neils last blog post..Buy My Peanut Brittle!

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    Comment by Neil on July 1, 2008
  23. Yes, hello. I’m wondering if I can borrow your life for awhile? FYI, this totally includes your current wardrobe and none of the yellow bows.

    Maybe you can make it available “check-out style” at the library? I promise I’ll wear my underwear when I come to pick it up.

    Many thanks!

    The Over-Thinkers last blog post..Calling All Jane & John Doe’s!! Time to spill it.

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    Comment by The Over-Thinker on July 1, 2008
  24. Has isa been listening to the Pussycat Dolls lately?

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    Comment by Miss on July 1, 2008
  25. Oh, good. You tagged me. I’m going to be busy.

    That cracked me up – I get hit on ALL THE TIME in Tim Hortons and I look like CRAP! I think I look easy is why.

    And I am proud to know the author of “Salad.” That is awesome.

    Rebeccas last blog post..O Canada

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rebecca on July 1, 2008
  26. You know, if I had a “resume” like that, I’d be hunting people down from my past to tell them all that I’ve accomplished. And I mean HUNTING . . .

    [Reply]

    Comment by LaskiGal on July 1, 2008
  27. Oh, and I completely forgot to mention this earlier:

    How old is your Emily? I believe, 7? Ah, yes – she and I have the same dream – being a supermodel.

    Actually, not just any supermodel, Heidi Klum. Gotta aim high, know what I’m saying? Please do let me know if she has any tips on how to become a supermodel.. haha – I can use all the tips I can get!!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on July 1, 2008
  28. Dude, the books are awesome.

    And I say meeeme. Like me, but with eme on the end.

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    Comment by slynnro on July 1, 2008
  29. I want boobies when I grow up too.

    I love the pic of your friends…it looks like tons of fun.

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    Comment by HRH on July 1, 2008
  30. Can I be you someday? Please????? (Does that sound too desperate?) I actually like Canada, I like celebrities, and I like being hot. I’m saving up all my money from not having a real life which I’ll then use to buy myself a life OR a private “interview” with Mr. Beckham. RARRRR!!!!

    lorens last blog post..It was quiet.

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    Comment by loren on July 2, 2008
  31. I will overlook the hotdog thing, but only if you overlook the fact that I am a hick from Utah that is WAAAAAAY less cool than you are. ;)

    Loralees last blog post..Sideblog:Email pet peeves

    [Reply]

    Comment by Loralee on July 2, 2008
  32. hahahaha i love it all!

    especially Isabella’s answer!! :)

    I’m sure your 30s are going to be fabulous, you’re already off to a great start!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Bronnie on July 2, 2008
  33. [...] « what i’ve done in the last fifteen years…(sadly, David Beckham isn’t one of &#8216… [...]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » soccer, hulks, and alfs…and ali gets serious about Britney on July 2, 2008
  34. I have no idea what your post is about because I got stuck on the picture at the top of the page. . .

    threeundertwos last blog post..Creative or Crazy?

    [Reply]

    Comment by threeundertwo on July 2, 2008
  35. Your kids are so awesome. And so are you…a published author!!
    P.S. The crappy/lack of wedding photos just means that you can have a blow out vow renewall!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Katie on July 2, 2008
  36. Lots of interesting info in that meme. I didn’t know you were published, cool! My niece and your daughter were separated at birth. I just spent the weekend at the cottage with her practicing her walk and hip hop dancing to any beat she could find. I guess you need to renew your vows in a few yours and do your wedding your way!

    Chantals last blog post..Recipe swap

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chantal on July 2, 2008
  37. Thank you for helping me clarify my future career options. I’ve narrowed them down to 3 things: David Beckham’s hairstylist, David Beckham’s masseuse, or David Beckham’s waxer.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..I’ve Been A Very, Very, Very Bad Wife (and I should be punished!)

    [Reply]

    Comment by thecoconutdiaries on July 2, 2008
  38. I’m calling a truce on the underwear posts. You win, ok? I won’t mention my undies on my site, and you won’t mention your lack of yours on yours.

    10? 10 books? Damn you straight to hell. I’m going to go live in a cave and paint the walls.

    Pants Wearers last blog post..It ain’t just for babies anymore

    [Reply]

    Comment by Pants Wearer on July 3, 2008
  39. How do your memes kick so much ass? How? Thanks for the tag. I’m going to leave a ridiculously long comment to make up for the fact that I may never actually do the meme – I’m terrible at them!

    I knew where you worked, but had no idea you’d written books for them. That is awesome! I know it shouldn’t make me like you more, but it does.

    Also, the commando thing cracked me up.

    And? I love #10. You are fabulous, girl! I really admire you for owning your greatness and not getting all self-deprecating like most women do. Respect!

    And so ends my novel in your comments. :)

    andis last blog post..Logic has no place in preschooler conversations

    [Reply]

    Comment by andi on July 3, 2008
  40. I JUST got home and am JUST catching up on all my reading and YAY!!! So glad you did this! Um, I had no idea you had published 10 books (see, this is exactly what these things are for!)! What’s a little Becks interview when you’re a famous children’s author?!?

    Also, your kids’ answers? Priceless. Can I borrow them? Just for a few hours?

    Also…I love how you emphasized the spelling of my name, hahahaha. Just so everyone’s clear, that it’s not Krysten or Chryistiaen or anything equally as absurd, ha.

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..The Land of the Midnight Sun

    [Reply]

    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on July 6, 2008
  41. You *are* a rockstar. Especially with your white beanie. ;)

    And by the way. It’s been a life’s dream to illustrate a kid’s book. hook a sista up next time you are in the mood to write a book, eh?

    Aimee Greeblemonkeys last blog post..A Call for the Silver Platters to Reunite!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Aimee Greeblemonkey on July 7, 2008
  42. [...] water cooler. i don’t have to wipe anyone’s ass. i can become an actual for reals published author. i can be [...]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » just me and dolly parton. without all the enormous boobs. on November 6, 2008
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