May 16 08

my stepmom is likely the world’s most friendly and outgoing person. she talks to everyone, everywhere. i remember when i was 12 and we were in myrtle beach. she walked right over to these two pre-teen hooligan types (i really just wanted to use the word hooligan, because, clearly, it’s not used enough), grabbed the cigarettes out of their mouths, and stamped them into the ground. she drives to the gas station to fill up her tank and comes home with an SUV filled with illegal mexicans to come and work on her lawn.

and, of course, she’s notorious for this…

(why, yes, that IS my stepmom and her expandable fork of doom, picking food off a random stranger’s plate!!)

i had always wished i could be like that. but i have always has issues talking to strangers. i have no idea why, actually. maybe it was fear of saying something stupid

and since you’ve all heard my “sweet the lick” story, you KNOW i say lots of stupid things

maybe i just didn’t like the small talk. but, ordering pizza, talking to customs agents, calling parents about playdates, talking to people for work…used to give me the sweats. heart palpitations. (that’s when we rely on my trusty old boyfriend…not this one, but this one)

but, recently, something in me has changed. (and it’s a myth when they tell you the only thing that changes when you turn 30 is the size of your hips. ahahah)

everywhere i go, i’m chatting up strangers. this woman in an elevator and i had a lengthy discussion about the state of affairs in the med-plaza parking lot! i swear. normally, i would just look up at the floor numbers going down. i talked to some random stranger in the hallway at work about sandals. just like that. no hives. no heart issues.

i went out last week and interviewed a celebrity. and it was normal. no sweats. nothing. AND I APPROACHED HIM. i downright asked him to let me interview him. Ali in her 20’s would never have done something like that.

my stepmom and i don’t share any blood…but it’s clear that her personality is rubbing off on me. so, if you see me walking around with a fork in hand…be afraid. be very afraid. because we know how much i like to talk to randoms now..and how much i like food..

(and sweet lord, if you don’t get this reference, get off your computer and download every. single. episode every made of 30 Rock. you won’t be sorry, i promise)

i think i’m going to like my 30s.

(i can’t believe i just said that)

  1. Good approach to the 30’s. Have a great long weekend! Now I actually must go & get some work done before I waste the day surfing…

    Comment by Maria on May 16, 2008
  2. It seems like you should hate your 30s and getting older and all that, but it is awesome. It’s like you stop caring what other people think. Or something.

    Kristabella’s last blog post..Yes, I Am Cultured

    Comment by Kristabella on May 16, 2008
  3. Your stepmom seriously ate off of a random stranger’s plate???? WOW… that makes me feel much better for stealing fries from friends!!! LOL

    I get the same panic-attack type feelings when I have to talk to people sometimes. I’m excited about it leaving at age 30! WOO HOO!!!!! 2 years to go!!!!

    Jana’s last blog post..Zombies Everywhere!!!!

    Comment by Jana on May 16, 2008
  4. In my next life, I’m coming back as your stepmom. Loved the SUV full of Mexicans line.

    fringes’s last blog post..Open Friday

    Comment by fringes on May 16, 2008
  5. I’m so impressed by you! I think there is definitely something to getting older and being more comfortable to speak up. My 20s I was practically mute. Now that I’m older, I’ll talk to anyone, any time, about anything. I scare myself sometimes.

    Have a great weekend!

    mary’s last blog post..Bonding over meatloaf

    Comment by mary on May 16, 2008
  6. live it up!
    go 30s…

    Comment by Holly on May 16, 2008
  7. The 30’s rock, yo. I have WAY more confidence than I did in my 20’s 🙂

    Angella’s last blog post..Six Of One, Half Dozen Of The Other

    Comment by Angella on May 16, 2008
  8. I cannot believe they sell that shirt! That is too funny.
    I am always chatty with people I dont know. And I love talking with customer service (esp when its a guy) bec I always win.
    Does she really use that fork on strangers?

    Comment by Maya on May 16, 2008
  9. I would be freaked right out if an expandable fork came my way. But conversations with strangers are good ! Yay for 30 ! And it better be a lie that your hips expand….. I declare here and now that that will NOT be my case or yours dear Ali.

    Comment by Heather on May 16, 2008
  10. My Dad has that same fork!

    Comment by Goon Squad Sarah on May 16, 2008
  11. I want an expandable fork of doom! Probably because I’m turning 30 in a few short months myself. Perhaps the expandable fork is a rite of passage.

    Moose’s last blog post..Hot Child in the City

    Comment by Moose on May 16, 2008
  12. Now if we could have had this knowledge and confident in high school…we all would have been much happier!

    Isabel’s last blog post..In which I’m pretty sure I’m not going to have to kill someone to get the sun to shine

    Comment by Isabel on May 16, 2008
  13. This might end our relationship right here and now, but I have never seen an episode of 30 Rock. I’m so sorry.

    Miss’s last blog post..Don’t know what you’re expecting of me

    Comment by Miss on May 16, 2008
  14. I’m feeling very anti-social lately. It’s a lonely personality trait. I need to get over it and go out and make some new friends.

    Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..I Shouldn’t Have Made Fun of the End of School year Craziness. Karma Is Watching Me.

    Comment by Queen of Shake Shake on May 16, 2008
  15. Your stepmom sounds a lot like mine. Once, as we got our nails done together, she turned to me and said (loud enough for MANY a customer to hear): I like these fake nails, but it’s going to be harder to pick my nose.

    She Likes Purple’s last blog post..Just Six?

    Comment by She Likes Purple on May 16, 2008
  16. Seriously, the 30s are WAY better than the 20s!

    Comment by Anna on May 16, 2008
  17. Dude! Where did she get that fork? I want one. I would sooo fork food from a stranger. I embarrass my husband to no end because I talk to strangers all the time. He’s constantly fussing about it!

    I’m 33 and I love it by the way! 30 sucked balls for the first month or so just because I was all mopey about not being in my 20’s no more but I got over it fast. You will too!

    DeeDee’s last blog post..Fin

    Comment by DeeDee on May 16, 2008
  18. An expandable fork – wow, that is impressive!!

    I had a really hard time turning 30, don’t know what it was. But 40 was a lot easier. Imagine that 😉

    Karen MEG’s last blog post..Happy Anniversary Haiku

    Comment by Karen MEG on May 16, 2008
  19. Fork of Doom. Totally sounds like something from Spaceballs 🙂

    P.S. I added you to my blog roll because you make me laugh so hard I pee a little. Just thought I’d let ya know!

    The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Hot Damn! I have a blog!

    Comment by The Over-Thinker on May 16, 2008
  20. Trust me, you will LOVE your 30s. You’ll go from being the OLDEST in her 20s to the YOUNGEST in her 30s. It’s awesome!

    Haley-O’s last blog post..NEW SITE IS HERE!

    Comment by Haley-O on May 17, 2008
  21. Soon. Soon I will let you know what’s on my mind grapes.

    Backpacking Dad’s last blog post..No shoes, no shirt, no pants. Mostly naked in the living room.

    Comment by Backpacking Dad on May 17, 2008
  22. Me too. I now realize I was stupid when I was in my 20s. (found you at Random Ramblings)

    Penny’s last blog post..10 Wierd Things About Me (only 10?)

    Comment by Penny on May 17, 2008
  23. I tend to yak with strangers. It’s part of my heritage (I’m a friendly east coaster).

    Teena in Toronto’s last blog post..Rejuvenating the BBQ

    Comment by Teena in Toronto on May 17, 2008
  24. My uncle does that too!!

    Mari’s last blog post..Links Times Three?

    Comment by Mari on May 17, 2008
  25. Just FYI, I will get around to doing that meme. I have been tagged for it 17 times, and I just keeping thinking my blog is already enough of a tribute to my weirdness, ya know?

    slynnro’s last blog post..In a van down by the river….

    Comment by slynnro on May 18, 2008
  26. Gonna get me one o’ them thar forks!! Being a very quiet type most of my life, since becoming an Official Maine Geezer & Touristy Type Attraction on my porch each summer, I’ve actually become quite chatty, in a ‘quiet Geezer way’:)

    Mike S’s last blog post..Last of Colonialism in North America

    Comment by Mike S on May 18, 2008
  27. I have the same fork! Use it every weekend we have guests. Have considered taking it on dates with me. Maybe that’s why I am still single…

    Comment by Pnina on May 19, 2008
  28. So you’re saying that in five to six years I might actually enjoy being outgoing and talking to random strangers? Somehow I find it hard to believe but if you say so then perhaps. Or perhaps my 30’s will come and I will still be a misanthrope.

    Heather B.’s last blog post..Familia

    Comment by Heather B. on May 19, 2008
  29. I agree. The older you get, the bolder you get. I think it has to do with confidence, not sure though. Glad to hear your stepmom is rubbing off on you.

    Comment by Jennifer Baxt on May 19, 2008
  30. Wait really? Expandable fork of doom?

    slynnro’s last blog post..Simultaneously Inspired and Uninspired.

    Comment by slynnro on May 20, 2008
  31. I was the same way in my teens and 20s–totally tongue tied and hard time initiating conversations with people i didn’t know.

    But no more!! I lost it throughout my 30s.

    Now am 39, and people say “Amy, she can talk to ANYONE”

    I just wonder what new and different changes my 40s will bring!

    MazingAmy’s last blog post..let me go on like a blister in the sun…

    Comment by MazingAmy on May 22, 2008
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  34. It’s great to hear that you have such a good relationship with your step-mom. I’ve have 5 step kids and I’d really love to have the same kind of friendship that you share, but unfortunately, it’s not been that way.

    Comment by Elinor Martell on February 11, 2010

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