January 13 09

my kids do their fair share of embarrassing me.

You have to develop a thick skin around children, probably even thicker with the Martell kids

because sure they might play cute on tv…

bath

but i assure you, in reality, they are mortification machines.

I mean how can you not DIE when your 7-year-old looks at you and says, “you are going to wear THAT? really?” or when your child thinks that George Clooney is on the US dollar bill. or when your 3-year-old announces in a public bathroom that she can see the hairy stripe on your pagina. or when your son points to a woman at Canada’s Wonderland and says “wow! that lady is SO fat!” or when he announces to an entire flight of passengers on an airplane that he just farted in his own face. (okay, fine, i kinda sorta maybe laughed at that one) or when your daughter uses “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID” properly. in front of your parents.

ah, kids. joy of joys.

but what EXACTLY do you do when you and your son are walking into a mall and he marches right up to a smoking woman near the entrance, raises his little 6-year-old voice and announces:

“YOU ARE GOING TO DIE, YOU KNOW!”

permission to die, sir?

i mean, payback will be a bitch, right? it’s coming, right? those years where my mere presence will embarrass the hell out of all three of my children? i. can’t. wait.

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so, last week we had a little contest over here at Cheaper Than Therapy. Sadly, it was only for Canadian readers, which i felt a little bit bad about only really i didn’t so much because why is every contest always only for US residents?

anyway, i decided that since i love you internets so much that instead of only ONE $25 gift card, i’m going to give out TWO. and i’m seeking the help of my very own assistant to help me choose the winners.

say hi to Miss Emily and her hat:

emily1

say hi to all the entries:

emily3

say hi to winner #1:

emily6

emily5

say hi to winner #2:

emily4

emily7

there you have it! Congrats to Sam and Syd! I will be in touch with you both sometime today!

and in case any of you were wondering how my southern puppy was going to take to our northern abundance of snow…i think you need not worry. it seems he can’t get enough.

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  1. I suppose our children are supposed to be our payback…but my mom swears I was never this bad. So I don’t know who I ticked off to deserve all of this.

    My 6yo met one of my aunts for the first time last year and went running away in tears yelling, “That man scares me!” hahaha Humiliating, yes, but sometimes they’re just saying exactly what we’re thinking while they’re cute enough to get away with it. lol

    [Reply]

    Comment by AJ on January 13, 2009
  2. Have I already asked if he is a Lhasa? He’s SOOO CUTE and reminds me of the dogs my Grandma had when I was little.

    Also – my biggest fear is that I’ll one day have a child who is sassier and/or smarter than I am. Or, more clever. But, I think your kids have the market cornered on clever.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rhi on January 13, 2009
  3. At first skim, I thought that said you had Missy Elliott and her hat draw for your gift card winners, and I thought, “Damn! Ali knows some people!”

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..if he brings home a whiny teenage girl and tells me he’s in love, i’ll know for sure he’s accepted the curse

    [Reply]

    Comment by differentkindofgirl on January 13, 2009
  4. Somewhere on the internet, there’s a blog post about a person who has decided to quit smoking after a precocious little boy came up to her and told her she was going to die.

    Good for Josh.

    [Reply]

    Comment by SciFi Dad on January 13, 2009
  5. My 5 yo told me yesterday I was “sexy and hot”. And not b/c he hears his dad say it all the time….

    Teris last blog post..5 Things you probably didn’t know about J.

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    Comment by Teri on January 13, 2009
  6. Seems as though those kids merely say what the rest of us wanted to say in those situations. Hilarious too.

    Surfer Jays last blog post..Got Wood?

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    Comment by Surfer Jay on January 13, 2009
  7. hahaha! kids say some pretty funny things…

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on January 13, 2009
  8. Yay me!!!!!!

    And I want to hug and squeeze your kids!! Totally.

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    Comment by sam {temptingmama} on January 13, 2009
  9. OK. You’re making me think a dog might not be THAT bad.

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    Comment by Angella on January 13, 2009
  10. the hairy stripe on your pagina made me laugh

    except not in a creepy way

    [Reply]

    Comment by hillary on January 13, 2009
  11. I love your kids. Pagina. HA HA! And yes, I’m sure you will give them their due amount of payback.:)

    Kaleighas last blog post..You there, Delurk!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kaleigha on January 13, 2009
  12. The matching pajamas will be a good start once their all in their teens.

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    Comment by Captain Dumbass on January 13, 2009
  13. Indy is SO, SO CUTE!

    Be sure to keep this post handy if Josh ever decides to pick up smoking! :)

    Kristabellas last blog post..Locks of Love

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on January 13, 2009
  14. Yep, their days are coming. Just wait until they hit the teen years…then EVERYTHING will be an embarrassment. Yay for payback!

    Lynettes last blog post..Monday Meanderings

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lynette on January 13, 2009
  15. OH NO HE DI-INT!!! Oh, but that was awesome….

    I love your dog! PRESH!

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    Comment by Haley-O on January 13, 2009
  16. so it seems I love joshie too.

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    Comment by slynnro on January 13, 2009
  17. What kind of dog is that? A Shih Tzu? I want one!

    [Reply]

    Comment by kirstin on January 13, 2009
  18. Your kids? I love them.

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    Comment by regan on January 13, 2009
  19. O.M.G. .. pagina .. lmao!!! I only have ONE kid and she nearly kills me sometimes. I’m not bright enough to be embarassed by her .. but she’s had me laughing so hard that she’s nearly taken me out, seriously.

    your little doggie is a doll! love that crazy runnin’ in the snow thing. Mine does that, but she’s not so cute .. she’s great big lol

    [Reply]

    Comment by divine chaos on January 13, 2009
  20. huh. seeing a puppy frolicking in the snow makes me want another baby. go figure.

    [Reply]

    Comment by heather... on January 14, 2009
  21. omg that is sooo funny! I am constantly telling my kids about how bad things are for them (smoking), how unhealthy (taking medicine that they don’t need), how bad for the environment (littering), how unsafe (not wearing safety gear on motorcycles).
    Thanks for the laugh. f’in funny.

    monstergirlees last blog post..Windswept Ocean Cliffs

    [Reply]

    Comment by monstergirlee on January 14, 2009
  22. LMAO! What a riot. I don’t know why the saying is “Kids say the darndest things”. Shouldn’t it be more like “Kids say crap that makes you want to hang them up by their toes in the closet you’ll be hiding in for the next week”?

    And congrats to the winners.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Text Imps on January 14, 2009
  23. Well, at least your kids are well educated on the matter! That is hilarious.

    I have taught the bunny that if someone is smoking near our car then we have to get in quickly so that we don’t smell it because it is unhealthy. Now, she asks (really loud I might add), “Mommy is someone smoking? Do we have to rush?” each time we get to the car.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on January 14, 2009
  24. Several years ago I was flying with my two boys who were very young at the time. Since I knew we would be on the plane for the next 10 hours I knew I had better pinch one off beforehand. I was in the stall with my then 2 year old son when he said “mom are you pooping? You’re pooping mom, you’re pooping! I can see it mom.” He would not be quiet about it. I felt so proud when I walked out of the stall to see a long line of women waiting… just fighting for my stall I’m sure.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Christy on January 15, 2009
  25. OMG i am dying laughing at christy’s above comment. WOW too funny!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Lindsay on February 10, 2009
  26. The pagina killed me :)
    I found it on Blogations; hope you don’t mind but I linked to your blog.
    .-= Laura´s last blog ..Blogtations =-.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Laura on January 16, 2010
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