a conversation:
Isabella, almost 3, regarding her watermelon: Wow! This is REALLY big!
Emily, 7: That’s what she said.
ahem. mother of the year, folks. mother of the year.
have i ever told you about my fear of boats?
Whoa. Hold it. We gotta take a boat?
Yes, sir. To get to the other side of the bay.
Nobody said anything about a boat.
Is there a problem, sir?
No, no problem. I’m just not that crazy about boats, that’s all.
Jesus Christ, Kaffee, you’re in the Navy for crying out loud.
Nobody likes her very much.
Yes, sir!
(movie? anyone? Bueller?)
well, yes, i’m afraid of boats. i don’t do cruises or ferries or kayaks or canoes or even paddle boats. i even hate the Swans at Canada’s Wonderland.
but because my family was in town, we needed to make the most of every minute we decided to take the family down to Centre Island for the day….which meant only one thing to me…a frigging ferry.
i distracted myself on the exactlysixminute ride over by taking photos of Coney Island White Fish. ew. also? kind of hilarious.
we actually had a ridiculously fun day…even though the kids had popsicles that were bigger than them
and made a mess that was bigger than me…
so in order to clean them off, i let them swim in their clothes. in a fountain. that had a huge sign that said…no wading. no swimming.
what? i told you i was the mother of the year.
come back tomorrow to hear about our Wall-e adventure. (oh my good god did i love that movie!!) oh, and how we might get a dog. one of these…
for now, just know that i have a serious drinking problem.
and that i have other kinds of problems.
when i have nothing to do, i prove to my husband that my scale is deliberately fucking with my brain. just like my baristas.
same time of day. same scale. same 35 pound weight.
you see? i’m NOT crazy.
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