January 14 09

it’s holymotherfucker cold outside right now. i got up, showered, got dressed, got into my van so the husband could drive me to the Tim Horton’s where he left the civic last night (don’t ask. please. it has to do with his inability to WAIT and some Greek Tragedy called Medea that we went to see last night that wasn’t awful but also wasn’t exciting enough to keep the husband awake but it DID end with a nice little mother-murders-her-sons bloody scene. awesome. oh, wait, what? have i ruined it for you? whatever…like you even know who Euripides is…), got to Tim Horton’s. realized my car was out of gas. and realized there was no way that i was going to allow my baby to WALK to school in this cold. so now i’m home. on my laptop. attempting the big defrost. but, i’m sitting in my bed, still donning my hat and scarf and giant winter coat.

because when you live in the arctic, you need one of these:


i know, right? the definition of SEXY.

but this picture is missing the boots and scarves and hats and mitts. this picture is missing the 25 extra minutes it takes to clear off the car in the morning. this picture is missing the frozen boogers. the watery eyes. the slush. the mush. the wet toes. the flat hair. the fogged-up glasses.

winter is awesome.

do you ever wonder why the first settlers who survived their first winter without dying from the cold didn’t pick up their families and belongings and turn to their pals and say, “yeah,William, Mary, you guys are cool and all, but we’re stabbing westward. or we’re going to take our chances down south. because if we stay here we are going to die?” or do you even wonder why my grandparents got off the boat (my mother always calls it ‘the schiff nelly’ to this day i have no idea if this is a joke or if the boat that my mom, my bubbie and my zaydie came to Montreal on was actually called the schiff nelly) and said…”YES! let’s stay here where it’s freezing and miserable and there’s just so much SNOW!!” and why they didn’t say, “Miriam, Yossi, you guys are cool and all, but we’re going down south. There are Jews in Florida!”

do you ever wonder why i complain about this every. single. year. and do nothing about it?

uh huh.

me too.

in other news..

i mentioned on twitter about my tailor turning my awesome! new! cheap! Sevens (flynt style with rad retro pockets) into flood pants.


and because i love my tailor – and not just because he buys me chocolate bars – and i am super lazy, i didn’t want to bring them back to get LENGTHENED (it’s bad enough i can’t friggin’ buy a pair of pants without needing alterations) i decided that buying some new shoes to wear with my new short pants was in order. well, actually, everyone on twitter decided…so, when the husband gets the Visa bill with some lovely little kitten heel purchases…i will say what i always say.

“it wasn’t me, it was the internet”

also, did anyone watch American Idol last night? wow. if there was ever a show i was happy NOT to be watching live, it was that 17 minutes of actual footage spread out over a two-hour time slot. other than DEEPVOICE and the bikini girl/Kara catfight and the bikini girl/Ryan makeout…it was ridiculous.

but, i’m going to say something now that i never thought i’d say

Paula looked GREAT last night.

(talk amongst yourselves while i have a quick CATscan)

(or maybe it’s just all this cold freezing my brain)

  1. Ha! I knew you’d go for the shoes. You never let me down Ali!

    Idol was hugely disappointing. Though I did spend the whole two hours thinking, “Oh my gosh they aren’t going to make fun of that blind guy are they??” And, thankfully, he didn’t require ridicule. lol Can’t wait to watch bikini girl go down in flames when she has to sing without her *ahem* distractions…hanging out.

    Comment by AJ on January 14, 2009
  2. I wouldn’t even have room in my closet for a jacket like that.

    Comment by Rhi on January 14, 2009

    Want to move to California with me?

    Comment by Angella on January 14, 2009
  4. I’m honestly appreciating the lack of snow in my hometown more and more this winter. Not that it helps you…but I have a few winter coats that haven’t been worn in a while (including a puffy one!).

    TUWABVBs last blog post..On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.**

    Comment by TUWABVB on January 14, 2009
  5. (Delurking to make a comment…)

    Thank you for making me laugh this morning — you are 110% right about winter sucking the big one. It’s going to be -14 here tonight, and every year we say “if it’s like this next year, we’re moving.” So far, no dice.

    Comment by Abby on January 14, 2009
  6. I’ve been hiding inside for days. I made Mike take Carter to daycare so that I could stay toasty warm in my bed.

    LOL @ It’s the internet’s fault. You’re brilliant!

    Comment by sam {temptingmama} on January 14, 2009
  7. So we kind of have the same blog title today. Because it is mother fucking cold.

    I have that coat, minus the furry hood.

    I didn’t see AI last night. I don’t watch auditions until they get to Hollywood. Plus my DVR was busy taping other things, like 90210. Which I VOWED to stop watching.

    Kristabellas last blog post..This Is The Kind Of Post You Get When My Brain Is Frozen

    Comment by Kristabella on January 14, 2009
  8. i watched some of AI last night but was watching superbad with my teenage daughter before…and its getting colder here again too…i think maybe the settlers thought crap if its this cold here it must be insane to go further

    Comment by LAVENDULA on January 14, 2009
  9. I’m glad I live on the warm side of Alberta. And can you really be accused of giving away the ending to a 2400 year old play?

    Comment by Captain Dumbass on January 14, 2009
  10. And it’s supposed to be even COLDER tomorrow, doesn’t seem possible…ugh. I wonder the same thing about winter and wish to move every time we go South…too bad about that health care issue…otherwise…yeah I’d be in the U.S. For. Sure.

    Kathys last blog post..Quiet mommy, don’t talk

    Comment by Kathy on January 14, 2009
  11. i ccccaannt tttype … tttooo cccooollddd …

    Comment by Holly on January 14, 2009
  12. I think William and Mary probably said Save Yourself.

    Comment by SciFi Dad on January 14, 2009
  13. You crack me us!

    My living room is on a concrete slab and sweet heaven, it is freezing sitting here, even in my coat. Do you think pioneers wore their winter wear in the cabins when it was like this? No. Probably not. They were too busy having to hunt and kill food and do really hard manual labor things. Not sit around watching last night’s Nip/Tuck while tapping away on a computer. Not a lot of body heat being generated here. I figure I’m just saving energy for going up to wait in the pick-up line when my kid gets out of school this afternoon.

    Comment by foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) on January 14, 2009
  14. I wonder the same thing about the pioneers every year. And I was born here.
    So does this mean I need to get on twitter. Seems like I am missing out on some critical decision making!

    Comment by Chantal on January 14, 2009
  15. I despise winter. I loved winter in LA. In Denver, I am just hoping Spring comes early. I could never live in Canada. It’s just too Wintery.

    Can’t do American Idol, I just can’t watch it anymore. My daughter is, but I made her record it in our basement, so I don’t have to even listen to it.

    Comment by Issa on January 14, 2009
  16. Mother of all that’s holy: HOW COLD?

    I just bought myself a new down comforter because waking up in the middle of the night shivering was getting old.

    Mooses last blog post..I Am Awesome

    Comment by Moose on January 14, 2009
  17. Ooooooh! I hate the cold too. It’s 25 degrees here outside DC right now….brrrrrr! I so need to move further south!

    Comment by ParentingPink on January 14, 2009
  18. I want, need, must buy now on the internet (so it’s not MY fault)…. It’s so cold I’m depressed. Only because wtf am I supposed to do stuck at home other than clean my kitchen full of dirty dishes.

    Comment by Haley-O on January 14, 2009
  19. I just got a call that they’re letting school out early cuz it’s so cold. And like Kathy said, it’s suppose to be worse tomorrow.

    I said the same thing about AI last night. I think my exact words were “WTH? It’s been an hour and we’ve seen 4 people sing!!” But it was worth the 2 hour wait to have the 2 minute laugh @ Ryan when he tried to high five the blind guy!! I almost choked to death laughing!

    Comment by Text Imps on January 14, 2009
  20. HOLY FREAKIN’ CHRISTMAS, it is cold out there. I’ve been home for over an hour and my cheeks are still tingling. For SERIOUS.

    As I was strapping Oliver in to his car seat today I noticed a gigantic frozen booger on his coat. Gigantic. I swear there was a vein in it. I stood there for a minute and debated whether or not I should touch that disgusting thing and pick it off or just let my son walk around with a huge frozen vein-booger stuck to his jacket like a goddamn poppy.

    Also. I thought Paula looked good last night too (CAN’T. BELIEVE. I’M. SAYING. THAT). I really liked her hair. I missed the bikini girl/Ryan makeout but I did see Ryan try to high-five the blind kid.

    (Oh, and the booger? I picked it off.)

    Comment by mamatulip on January 14, 2009
  21. I thought Paula looked good too but what was with all the eye wear?

    Comment by Kimberly on January 14, 2009
  22. HATE HATE HATE the winter snotsicles I get when walking in frigid Boston.

    TrenchesofMommyhoods last blog post..A Contest: $50 Tiny Prints Giveaway!

    Comment by TrenchesofMommyhood on January 14, 2009
  23. OK, so (I LOVE that green shirt, and also) I totally agree about American Idol, and realized something about myself last night: I don’t like watching people be embarrassed or get embarrassed, or be delusional or super stalker crazy. (Unless we’re talking about Rock of Love or I Love New York). I start to get squirmy for them, and then it’s just hard to watch.

    That being said I admittedly loved the Wanted: Dead or Alive montage. I was laughing so hard.

    So, to recap: montages: OK. Bad singing by people who think they are great singers: can’t really handle. Green: looks great on you.

    Comment by Kerri Anne on January 14, 2009
  24. Several thousand years ago, I did a post on how to hem your own jeans. If you’re that way inclined . . . I know not everyone is! Frankly, I’m only semi-inclined myself.

    PS: I think the coat is kinda hot.

    Comment by hollylynne on January 14, 2009
  25. And I thought *I* was suffering here in Victoria with our three days of snow!

    I like the coat. I could never pull something like that off.

    Bikini girl was hilarious from what I saw of her on the clips….but I can’t stand the show otherwise.

    Comment by Mad Woman on January 15, 2009
  26. I am feeling you on the cold – woke up this morning and it was -38 (yes, I’m in Canada too). Gotta love when you try to breathe and you only end up coughing!

    I’m a short one too so I also have to have EVERYTHING hemmed. I can never just go and buy pants, and then you have to go through the whole dilemma of whether the pants will look completely idiotic once they are hemmed (which has happened to me more than once). For hemming jeans I always go to Stich It because they’ll cut the old hem off, shorten them and then put it back on so you can’t even tell – it’s pretty sweet and got me over my phobia of hemming jeans.

    And? Any reason to buy new shoes is a good one!

    Comment by Julienne on January 15, 2009
  27. When I got to the Paula remark you proved to me once and for all that you have hypothermia with brain freeze – you need a trip down South STAT.

    Comment by katie ~ motherbumper on January 15, 2009
  28. Yeah, it’s -43C windchill here in Winnipeg right now. WTF! I shouldn’t be here! I was BORN ON AN ISLAND!!!
    But NO, my parents decided that this place was warm enough for them to move to. Frick.

    Oh, yeah, I probably should also say that the hubby and I had moved to Hawaii… and *we moved back*… say it with me: “Nenette is a bozo.” >sigh<

    Comment by Nenette on January 15, 2009
  29. It’s insane outside! I have spent the last three evenings perusing property in Key West.

    Don Mills Divas last blog post..Couldn’t we all use just a little more Britney?

    Comment by Don Mills Diva on January 15, 2009
  30. It’s 51 now. That’s bikini weather for you, isn’t it?

    Comment by Heather, Queen of Shake Shake on January 15, 2009
  31. back to my regularly shceduled commenting next week! i will HAVE to write an entry about this on every single blog I have when I get back online…

    yes though.

    I know the play Medea and all of that junk. I heart Greek/Roman Mythology hardcore dawg.


    I’ll get to catch up with your blog Sunday. WWEEEEEE

    Comment by Maryann on January 15, 2009
  32. I got cold just reading this, though it was 7 degrees when I got up this morning. Thank goodness I didn’t have plans to leave the house today. (Not that I ever have plans to leave the house.)

    Comment by Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children on January 15, 2009
  33. Sometimes I miss the cold. Spent my first 25 years in Minneapolis so I’m rather familiar with the extreme cold. And a long cold to cover the bum is a gooooood thing.

    monstergirlees last blog post..Someone Got a Haircut

    Comment by monstergirlee on January 16, 2009
  34. Ali, I honestly don’t know how you survive in that cold! I’ve been crying about the weather in Virginia, I just can’t imagine Canada!

    La Petite Chics last blog post..On Not Becoming A Statistic

    Comment by La Petite Chic on January 16, 2009
  35. I did the same today. Didn’t have the heart to send my babies out in the cold. It sure looks pretty from inside, though.

    Comment by Tamara on January 16, 2009

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