it’s holymotherfucker cold outside right now. i got up, showered, got dressed, got into my van so the husband could drive me to the Tim Horton’s where he left the civic last night (don’t ask. please. it has to do with his inability to WAIT and some Greek Tragedy called Medea that we went to see last night that wasn’t awful but also wasn’t exciting enough to keep the husband awake but it DID end with a nice little mother-murders-her-sons bloody scene. awesome. oh, wait, what? have i ruined it for you? whatever…like you even know who Euripides is…), got to Tim Horton’s. realized my car was out of gas. and realized there was no way that i was going to allow my baby to WALK to school in this cold. so now i’m home. on my laptop. attempting the big defrost. but, i’m sitting in my bed, still donning my hat and scarf and giant winter coat.
because when you live in the arctic, you need one of these:
i know, right? the definition of SEXY.
but this picture is missing the boots and scarves and hats and mitts. this picture is missing the 25 extra minutes it takes to clear off the car in the morning. this picture is missing the frozen boogers. the watery eyes. the slush. the mush. the wet toes. the flat hair. the fogged-up glasses.
winter is awesome.
do you ever wonder why the first settlers who survived their first winter without dying from the cold didn’t pick up their families and belongings and turn to their pals and say, “yeah,William, Mary, you guys are cool and all, but we’re stabbing westward. or we’re going to take our chances down south. because if we stay here we are going to die?” or do you even wonder why my grandparents got off the boat (my mother always calls it ‘the schiff nelly’ to this day i have no idea if this is a joke or if the boat that my mom, my bubbie and my zaydie came to Montreal on was actually called the schiff nelly) and said…”YES! let’s stay here where it’s freezing and miserable and there’s just so much SNOW!!” and why they didn’t say, “Miriam, Yossi, you guys are cool and all, but we’re going down south. There are Jews in Florida!”
do you ever wonder why i complain about this every. single. year. and do nothing about it?
uh huh.
me too.
in other news..
i mentioned on twitter about my tailor turning my awesome! new! cheap! Sevens (flynt style with rad retro pockets) into flood pants.
and because i love my tailor – and not just because he buys me chocolate bars – and i am super lazy, i didn’t want to bring them back to get LENGTHENED (it’s bad enough i can’t friggin’ buy a pair of pants without needing alterations) i decided that buying some new shoes to wear with my new short pants was in order. well, actually, everyone on twitter decided…so, when the husband gets the Visa bill with some lovely little kitten heel purchases…i will say what i always say.
“it wasn’t me, it was the internet”
also, did anyone watch American Idol last night? wow. if there was ever a show i was happy NOT to be watching live, it was that 17 minutes of actual footage spread out over a two-hour time slot. other than DEEPVOICE and the bikini girl/Kara catfight and the bikini girl/Ryan makeout…it was ridiculous.
but, i’m going to say something now that i never thought i’d say
Paula looked GREAT last night.
(talk amongst yourselves while i have a quick CATscan)
(or maybe it’s just all this cold freezing my brain)
35