as kids, my siblings and i spent a large majority of our time in the ER waiting room.
As children of a self-proclaimed hypochondriac, if something was hurting, we were in emerg. and we were sure it was THE WORST. sore foot? it’s obviously broken. headache? brain tumor. rash? lyme disease. neck pain? meningitis.
i’ve got the hypochondriac gene in me, it seems. but, i, unlike my mother, avoid the doctor and the hospital like, well, like the plague. when something hurts me, i ignore it. and when it starts to hurt more, i ignore more. i’m a GREAT ignorer! remember how long it took me to get my ass to a physiotherapist??
thanks to my best friend google, i can do all my self-diagnosing from the comforts of my own bed. awesome.
subject presents with the following symptoms: severe stomach pain. we’re talking nonstop contraction. possible fever, although she was too lazy to find the thermometer to know for sure.
could be: appendicitis. ruptured ovarian cyst. kidney stones. ectopic pregnancy. gall bladder.
probably is: gas
it is not gas. i know this because i bit the bullet and ended up in Dr. Jack’s office this morning. and then on to York Central for an ultrasound and an xray. there was talk of a nodule. i don’t like to hear words like ‘nodule’
(just fyi…having an ultrasound when you aren’t having a baby?? BLOWS.)
(also…drinking 2 liters of water and not being able to pee?? also BLOWS.)
diagnosis: the jury is still out. could be anything.
treatment: taking a swim in this…
which arrived last night. Thanks, Dad and Doris. you guys are the best! mwah!
