Category: The Snark

Why I Don’t Wear Beige Undergarments

April 30, 2012 – 8:31 am

I’m—mostly—okay with my old lady tendencies. Other than the poor circulation part—I could do without the constant cold extremities part of basically being a senior citizen. I mean, think about it. I eat dinner at 5:30pm, you guys. Early-bird special? Don’t mind if I do! I yell at no one in…

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The Forgotten Garden = FORGETTABLE

April 26, 2012 – 8:12 am

The English Patient. It that book. That one book that I just cannot bring myself to finish. I have tried—many times, too many to count, even. The writing is lovely and lyrical, sure, but, well, every time I sit down with the book in hands, it’s like suddenly I’m Elaine…

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The Time I Taught Starbucks How To Make Iced Coffee

April 17, 2012 – 9:17 am

Me: I’d like an iced coffee please. With the blonde, if you have it brewed. Her: Oh, I can’t do that. Me: Wait. WHAT? Do you not have the blonde brewed? Okay. I’ll have Pike Place. No problem. Her: Sorry, Ma’am, I can’t do that either. Me: Okay. I’ll say…

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