The Time I Taught Starbucks How To Make Iced Coffee - Cheaper Than Therapy Cheaper Than Therapy

April 17 12

The Time I Taught Starbucks How To Make Iced Coffee

Me: I’d like an iced coffee please. With the blonde, if you have it brewed.

Her: Oh, I can’t do that.

Me: Wait. WHAT? Do you not have the blonde brewed? Okay. I’ll have Pike Place. No problem.

Her: Sorry, Ma’am, I can’t do that either.

Me: Okay. I’ll say it again. Wait. WHAT?

Her: Our iced coffee is already mixed.

Me: Okay. That’s weird. Can I just get some coffee and ice in a cup?

Her: I don’t know if I can do that.

Him: I don’t know if we can do that.

Me: Um, Okay. Can you give me a grande-sized cup, but only pour a tall-sized amount of coffee and then fill the rest with ice?

Her: I’m not sure. I can try.

Me: Thanks?

{She hands me one of their hot coffee cups. Coffee. Three ice cubes.}

Me: Okay. Errr. Can I get a cold coffee cup filled with ice please?

Her: Um. Maybe?

Me: {As I pour the hot coffee from the hot coffee cup into the cold cup filled with ice} See? Iced coffee! Ice and coffee! Huzzah!

Her: I have never seen that before.

Me: I know. It’s a CRAZY invention, this iced coffee business!

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The Snark

Comments

Uhm. Seriously?
Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on April 17, 2012
Seriously.

My kids were dying at the conversation and at the amount of times I had to roll my eyes.
Comment by ali on April 17, 2012
I’m pretty sure that is how they make iced coffee at Starbucks in Dallas.
Comment by Misty on April 17, 2012
DOAH!
Comment by Shash on April 17, 2012
To be fair, Starbucks iced coffee is made with a particular blend and it’s double-brewed (so the ice doesn’t water it down). This person does come across as a little slow, but they were just trying to be by-the-book.
Comment by Jessica on April 17, 2012
This. 🙂
Comment by Nanette on April 17, 2012
I have no idea his this happened to you! They nexer screw up
Iced Coffee! What the heck…
Comment by Loukia on April 17, 2012
Oh my… I totally laughed at this conversation – I may have had a very similar one with someone myself. In the end I wanted to say – Im not sure what just went on here, but Im just going to go enjoy my magical drink. Good luck.
Comment by Amy on April 17, 2012
You are such an outside the box thinker Ali (How did you keep from doing a facepalm to that girl?)
Comment by Jen on April 17, 2012
Wow. Umm, that’s disturbing.
Comment by Sweetney on April 17, 2012
Yep, they don’t do that for a reason. When you make iced coffee, you brew it at double strength. Hot coffee with ice is yucky to most of us, because it becomes watered down.
Comment by Tia on April 17, 2012
That is true about the double brewing thing. Iced is stronger. Dunkin Donuts is the same way.

Although, still, this is ridiculous in every way.
Comment by Kristabella on April 17, 2012
Okay. First of all, she didn’t say it was double brewed so it wouldn’t become watered down. She said it was ALREADY MIXED…which led me to believe that it was already presweetened and/or already had cream or whatever. There are a lot of coffee places that do this. Since I don’t add sugar or sweetener to my iced coffee and I only use nonfat milk…I just wanted coffee and ice.

I’m curious as to why she was having such a hard time understanding this? Like…she could have explained that?
Comment by ali on April 17, 2012
I bet it is already mixed. Especially in an airport Starbucks, which doesn’t usually have the full facilities of a full Starbucks.

And regardless of what their normal iced coffee is, this is NOT A HARD REQUEST. I can see them confused about how to charge it maybe, but that’s it.

Again, this is ridiculous. Especially for Starbucks which is all about you getting to have it whatever way you want.
Comment by Kristabella on April 17, 2012
Exactly.

I mean…SHE WORKS AT STARBUCKS.

hahah.
Comment by ali on April 17, 2012
Yikes. That is really sad.
Comment by Mrs. Wilson on April 17, 2012
Where the hell were you? I have never had a problem. Truly.
Comment by Issa on April 17, 2012
O’hare airport.

🙂
Comment by ali on April 17, 2012
Okay now I completely understand. My cousin manages a SB in LA. She has told me for years that the ones in book stores, Targets, Airports and anywhere else where it’s not a stand alone Starbucks are not real SB’s. They get to use the products and the name, but they don’t go through the two week training or whatever. Soooo if they know how to make things, you are just lucky.
Comment by Issa on April 17, 2012
that is more than a little ridic. Jeez.
Comment by heather... on April 17, 2012
Who da thunk it…ice and coffee…ice coffee. Too funny.
Comment by Amanda on April 17, 2012
Not disputing that that person was a total moron, the reason their iced coffee is already mixed is because when you brew iced coffee, you brew it double strength, so the ice doesn’t dilute the coffee.

But, um, yeah, it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out what you wanted.
Comment by jodifur on April 17, 2012
Yes. But if you read the comment section…Oh, I’ll just copy and paste…

…she didnâ€™t say it was double brewed so it wouldnâ€™t become watered down. She said it was ALREADY MIXEDâ€¦which led me to believe that it was already presweetened and/or already had cream or whatever. There are a lot of coffee places that do this. Since I donâ€™t add sugar or sweetener to my iced coffee and I only use nonfat milkâ€¦I just wanted coffee and ice.

Iâ€™m curious as to why she was having such a hard time understanding this? Likeâ€¦she could have explained that?

Also. She works at STARBUCKS. This shouldn’t have been a foreign concept.
Comment by ali on April 17, 2012
I use to work at Starbucks (5 years ago) and as I read your interaction i wanted to smack that girl. WTH, are kidding me? It is not hard to follow a customers simple request like yours. Human stupidity knows no bounds.
Comment by Jenn on April 18, 2012
Common sense is lacking in so many places. My grandfather had this experience back in the 60’s. It’s a favorite family story: A waitress told Pops the restaurant did not have iced tea. “Do you have hot tea?” he asked her. “Yes, sir,” she replied. “Do you have ice?” “Yes, sir.” Bring me one of each, and I’ll take care of the rest. Surrounding tables were highly amused.
Comment by Bridge on April 18, 2012
Vanilla Bean Mocha = minds BLOWN.
(A Mocha with a shot of Vanilla flavouring.)

They insist on blinking and staring through me every time.
Comment by Suzanne on April 19, 2012
I’m so glad you blogged about this! I used to work at Starbucks and I would drink a lot of Iced coffee. I hated the type that they brewed because it was far to dark and strong! While I was working there I started drinking Hot brewed coffee pour over a full Venti COLD cup of ice and a few pumps of vanilla. I would add a little milk and hands down it is one of my Favorite summer drinks. Now that I don’t work there anymore, do you think I could explain this drink to any of the baristas? They look at me like I have two heads!! I’m so glad someone else had this problem haha! -Kate
Comment by Bargainmoose on April 19, 2012
That’s ridiculous!
Hot coffee poured over a cup of ice = Iced Coffee. That’s it. Why do they have to f*ck with it stupid st*rbucks.
Comment by monstergirlee on April 22, 2012
Ridiculous. I never get the flavor I have in my mind for any cup at Starbucks. That’s why I always wait till I come to my own place to have a coffee
Comment by best gold buyers on April 27, 2012
This is a fantastically written dialog and it is very interesting to read this. But I like the final phase of this. More than that I love to see the coffee cup which I ever love.
Comment by buying precious metal on May 5, 2012
omg, we’ve created an entire generation of rule followers who really can not think for themselves. Coffee, it’s not brain surgery, & yet it is. *rolls eyes*
Comment by dahlila on June 1, 2013
As a Barista that isn’t a moron as this makes us seem, I would have given you the coffee poured over ice. It would have instantly melted it, making it taste warm and nasty, you would have asked for more ice which I would give you and make it more watery and overall, you wouldn’t have been happy and it would have been my fault.

Or I would have said sure! Pike over ice, no problem! And then poured our normal iced coffee because there’s a slim chance you could tell the difference and then everyone is happy.

Sometimes it’s easier letting the customer *think* they are right.

(Also, the iced coffee blend is very very similar to pike and only a really delicate palate can tell. ALSO, if you ever come across a Starbucks with a Clover ask for an iced Kenya. The best.)
Comment by Miss on June 1, 2013
Okay, I really wasn’t trying to make a generalization about Starbucks in general. 🙂 It was a specific instance that I just found so bizarre.

Like, she could have explained it to me—what “already mixed” meant and that I might not like my coffee with just coffee and ice (although, incidentally, that’s kind of exactly how I do like it). Instead she acted like I was from the moon…which was just, really? She works at Starbucks, right? Surely I wasn’t the first person to ask for ice and coffee?

I assumed “already mixed” meant that it was pre-sweetened, since I believe that some coffee shops serve their iced coffee with a pre-sweetened mix.
Comment by alimartell on June 1, 2013