the button on my beloved black patent leather Jessica Simpson (like you NEVER…) mary janes popped off while I was at the supermarket grabbing last minute passover essentials. and when i say essentials, i really mean black flats for Emily, a butterfinger bar, and a matching towel and potholder set that i totally didn’t need. Letting me loose in a supermarket (grocery store? what do you say?) is never a good idea, especially while broken. Those superstores – you kn0w the ones, where you can buy mascara and chicken and a television and a pea coat and a novel and a couch all in the same place – were created for people like ME.

i don’t even remember why i told you this. oh yes! because did you know that a cobbler is a real profession? i had no idea. the husband says ever-so-casually, “oh, that button is so not a big deal. just take it over to the cobbler.”

WHAT? They really exist? also…the word cobbler makes me think of Irish leprechauns. or pie. or something.  i felt like Gisele in Enchanted when Robert tells her he’s angry and asks her if she’s ever heard of that unpleasant emotion and she was all “well, i have heard of it…”

PS. in case you are wondering, my life is all about Enchanted right now. Isabella watches it. and then watches it again. and then watches it again. (and even after seeing it 87 times a week, i still giggle every time she sings “to the gay refrain of a happy working song” *snicker*) (hi, i am 12)

as if it’s some remote word that really doesn’t exist. or only exists in disney movies. like a clocksmith. and did you know that there’s something called a cordwainer? i swear to god. I remember my 12th grade English teacher using that word, but she was at least 108 at the time, so there were MANY things she said that i ignored. Ah, Mrs. Rosenwald, how i doubted you and your cordwainer! I do feel badly about this, but then again, her genius ebbed and flowed in high school. One moment she was filling my brain with pure genius and the next minute the entire class would get up and pretend that the bell rang. ah, high school. also, i won’t tell you that the geriatric Mrs. R and i both had the same GAP vest. my god, i loved that vest. it had patches. PATCHES! I LOVE PATCHES (do not ask me to tell you about my love for professors with elbow patches on their jackets….it’s OBSCENE). and plaid!

(oh. you SO wish you had one right now…)

so, yes, i’m talking about cobblers and senile old english teachers today. because rambling is what’s working for me right now. My heart is simply broken for Heather and Mike, and it’s hard to know how to pick up the pieces and move on with living, yanno? I mean, yesterday, i got into the shower (where i do my very best thinking) and as i stood under the water, my mind started to think about all the things little Maddie will never get to do. All the people she’ll never get to meet. All the places she’ll never get to see. I started to think that Heather would never get to watch Maddie play softball like she imagined she would. and as the tears poured out of my face, I wondered how Heather was ever going to be able to get into a shower again.

Also, this must be said before i go back to my rambling. I am so proud to be a part of such a wonderful blogging community. Yesterday, i shied away from posts and twitter and facebook because it was just. too. much. but going through the twitter feed and everyone’s posts and MORE than $20,000 raised on Maddie’s March of Dimes donation page (if you haven’t PLEASE donate) and seeing how hard people worked to get Heather’s site back up and people setting up paypal accounts and making videos and arranging for P.O. Boxes and THIS page (oh this page is just amazing. Meghan = amazing) just how much LOVE everyone has for this family, for this little girl who left this earth too soon, well, my heart is just – albeit bittersweetly – EXPLODING.

now, if you’ll let me, my broken and exploding heart are off to see a man about some shoes.