Today I saw the cutest man I may have ever seen on the subway. He was shorter than I, wearing a red and yellow robe (Buddhist, I’m guessing), a pair of brown Sketchers sandals, and was holding a large Tim Hortons coffee cup. As he went to take a sip of his coffee, he made a face and quickly pulled the cup away from him. I totally get it, I thought. Because it happens to me all the time. The lid opening lines up with the seam of the cup. I looked over his way and nodded in solidarity…I totally hate that too. It felt like some sort of I AM CANADIAN commercial. See? We may look different and speak different languages and, well, one of us wears Sketchers, and yet, here we are. The same.
I wonder if he thinks he should get rid of his land line too.
Because, you guys, my land line is currently the bane of my entire existence.
(I know I always say that my bangs hold his regal title…but can we not have several banes? Or isÂ multipleÂ bane-age frowned upon? Well, either way, my bangs are thisclose to being grown out enough that they will nicely tuck back behind my ears and stop hanging in my eyes, giving me that lovely wet-puppy look. Except when I say lovely, I really mean, uncomfortable, annoying, and highly uncute.)
The following are the people who currently call on our land line:Â
Boris, wanting to know if I need help moving.
Alexi, wanting to know if I need help with house painting.
Vlad, wanting to know if I need help with my lawn.
Dimitri, wanting to know if I need help with my window cleaning.
Igor, wanting to know if I need help with my gutters.
The Royal Bank calling to tell me very important news that I must speak to a representative immediately (TRUTH: It’s not important at all, and there’s no reason to speak to a representative at all)
My friend Ilana
You see, I have this lovely little smartphone. It is in my hands all the time. It fetches my emails for me, my text messages, my gchats. It’s where I use Twitter, and Facebook, and Pinterest and Instagram. It’s where I check the weather and set my alarm. It’s where I play Settlers of Catan and Angry Birds. It’s where I am currently reading three eBooks.
OH! And did you know? It’s also a TELEPHONE?
It is! Amazing, eh?
So, if someone needs to reach me…I not only have an email address, a gchat account, a facebook account, a twitter feed…but I also have a phone number of my very own!Â
So, my goal for the remainder of 2011 is to teach my mother and my mother-in-law and my friend Ilana to use my cell phone number.
And to rid my house of that pesky little 905 home number.
Because, really, I’m never going to answer it anyway.Â