“The sky is blue.”
“Actually it’s more like a shade of turquoise-ish aqua.”
“Josh! If I want to say it’s blue, then it’s blue.”
“But you would be wrong Isabella. Just like always.”
“That’s not true! It’s blue!”
“OKAY THAT’S IT! 5 MINUTES OF HAND-HOLDING STARTING NOW.”
Now, as a parent, I rarely get things right. I pack the wrong lunches. I serve the wrong dinners. I clearly don’t help enough when it comes to Emily’s Medieval Times report. I don’t cuddle enough. I cuddle too much. I am so mean for forcing Isabella to brush her hair. I buy the wrong yogurt, the wrong milk, and the wrong cereal. I listen to the wrong music, I watch the wrong shows, and I sign the kids up for the wrong activities. I don’t buy the right sandals, or shorts, or t-shirts. I am horrible for not buying my pre-teen a cellphone.
It’s amazing that the three of them are still alive and breathing, isn’t it?
But, there is one thing I do that’s 100% right.
I have got this punishment thing down to a science. A very sneaky, sneaky science.
It’s simple, really.
If you disrespect your sibling? 5 minutes of hand-holding.
If you raise your voice to your sibling? 5 minutes of hand-holding.
If you make fun of your sibling? 5 minutes of hand-holding.
If you argue for the sake of argument about the color of the sky or any other such nonsense? 5 minutes of hand-holding.
Nobody likes it.
Nobody, of course, except for their Mama.
Mostly because this method of parenting actually works for us, and, well, because it makes for adorable photos.