October 9 09

I should have known back when the kids were babies. I just should have known.

They were such good sleepers. I mean, for a little perspective, I will tell you this. All three of the kids were sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. I was given a lovely 12-6am stretch every single night. Of course, good sleepers meant shitty nappers, but that’s a story for another day. But I should have known that all this would come back to bite me in the ass. I have talked about the fact that Miss Emily does.not.sleep. before. many times.

and now…she’s got herself a partner in insomniac crime.


this is Josh, circa 1am. on a school night. Dude is reading an entire book every night. Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. SuperFudge. Fudge-a-Mania. The Mouse and the Motorcycle. Runaway Ralph, Ralph S. Mouse. He is plowing through one every night. Which, yes, I realize is ridiculously impressive because a) he is SIX and b) he is a boy. You don’t have to work in children’s publishing (like I do) to know that lots of boys are reluctant readers. not my boy.

he’s a reluctant sleeper.

(Also? I have run out of book ideas. anyone?)

and now…they’ve got themselves another partner.

oh yes, you guessed it. TRIFECTA.

Miss Isabella is obsessed with Magic School Bus. Her obsession has reached the point where she toddles (can you still toddle at age 4??) into my room at 4am, crawls up onto my bed and says, “my clock says 7, can I watch Magic School Bus?” and since both the husband and I are SLEEPING (a novel concept, I realize…) we turn on an episode for her. and then another one. and then another one. and then another one. Until we realize that her clock may have said 7…but it is most like 4:17 than 7:00 and she’s watched 6 episodes of the show.

(and don’t get me started on the state of Miss Frizzle’s camel toe and when she says things like “so, this is what a tossed salad feels like!”)

So, this not sleeping thing is becoming a problem. Because in the mornings, I have to dress a sleeping child. Or I have to throw him into the shower, and even that doesn’t always work. He is a nightmare in the mornings. He can’t get all of his shit together in time to eat breakfast, and then he whines and cries because he’s hungry. He can’t muster enough energy to put his shoes on. He can’t muster enough energy to even locate his shoes. or his kippah. or his hoodie. good times, I say!

and Isabella…well, she becomes a nightmare in the afternoon, right after school. On Wednesday I took her to see my Grandma at her nursing home. Yes, Naomi, I know it’s not PC. She was delightful. She helped us take my Grandma’s sweater off so they could give her a flu shot. She sang some lovely songs to her and got her to smile, something that we rarely see these days.

she even posed for me.


but then we got into the car. and she started screaming

“Stop talking! You are hurting my ears! It’s too noisy! I want candy! I want a drink! Can I have gum? I am so hungry! STOP TALKING! Are we home yet? I want some oreos! stop talking, ZOMG! I want gum!”

oh. my. god.

*City + Colour

  1. Maybe I shouldn’t have kids because my first thought was that you should put Benadryl in their dinners. And if that was too harsh to at least put some melatonin in there. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have kids.

    Comment by Nic on October 9, 2009
  2. I’m having sleep issues. maybe i should hang with your kids… ive been going to sleep and then waking up at 1 until 3 or 4. hook me up with some magic school bus.

    Comment by rayli on October 9, 2009
  3. My son likes the Ready Freddy series and the Geronimo Stilton books… he blows through them too quickly but at least he is reading.

    Comment by Lori L. on October 9, 2009
  4. I suppose that must have been like when I was little. Staying up all night reading Little House on the Prarie or Anne of Green Gables.:) My poor parents.

    Comment by Kaleigha on October 9, 2009
  5. I used to be like that, too. I finished all of my books (loved the Ralph S. Mouse books!) and moved onto my mother’s. I read half of Stephen King’s stuff by the time I was 10.

    Comment by Avitable on October 9, 2009
  6. It is counter-intuitive to sanction reading time, however kids need their sleep! In our house sleep and/or QUIET time was an absolute every night, or consequences! Good luck. (your) Anon

    Comment by Linda on October 9, 2009
  7. Magic Treehouse series. EB White.

    Comment by feefifoto on October 9, 2009
  8. my 5 year old still has night terrors sometimes and she is impossible to get back to sleep when she has them and sometimes my 9 year old will wake up because she is scared or worried and of course they can’t wake up at 10 when i am getting ready for bed hell no they wait until like 2 or 3 then wake me up !!

    Comment by LAVENDULA on October 9, 2009
  9. my 4 year old son gets like that at bed time. He yells and screams, demanding things and fighting. All because he is tired. And I almost have to wrestle him to the bed and hold him there till he closes his eyes. FUN

    Comment by Chantal on October 9, 2009
  10. my 6 year old son stays up all night reading. is favorites? the magic tree house series, bobbsey twins, boxcar children, encyclopedia brown, and all the roald dahl books

    Comment by Shosh on October 9, 2009
  11. so is this the part where you offer them hot chocolate right before bed? Laced with Baileys?
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..Things You Should Know =-.

    Comment by Katie on October 9, 2009
  12. Dear goodness, you poor thing, I can’t imagine three not sleeping.
    I see someone else has already suggested Geronimo Stilton…I would also suggest 39 Clues, a really awesome book series being down over a tw year period…book six comes on in early November.
    Wishing you and yours a good night sleep. 🙂

    Comment by Amanda on October 9, 2009
  13. Well, I’m glad Josh is reading those other books, after he kind of freaked out at the thought of reading anything but those treehouse books.

    I’m tired just reading this.

    Feed them a lot of turkey and milk right before bed?

    Comment by Kristabella on October 9, 2009
  14. Did you know that I was cast as Fudge in the 4th grade production of Super Fudge in Elementary school? Because I was.

    Comment by slynnro on October 9, 2009
  15. Hmmm…my 6 yo got up and came down to our bed for the first time EVER on his own last night (I was on the couch)…my husband was SHOCKED and thought it was morning so he turned on the tv.

    My 6yo loves Captain Underpants, but they don’t spell everything right so that kind of annoys me. We’re also reading the Stink series of books.

    My kids have ALWAYS been crappy sleepers – from birth til present, so I have no advice. Maybe make them run laps or something before bed??

    Comment by pgoodness on October 9, 2009
  16. Totally recommend The Boxcar Children – classic and a series. What more could you ask for? 🙂

    Comment by Kate on October 10, 2009
  17. I used to be like that, too. I finished all of my books . I read half of Stephen King’s stuff

    Comment by Bow Ties on October 10, 2009
  18. Just thought of another one…Diary of A Wimpy Kid. My class loves the books and they really are rather funny.

    Comment by Amanda on October 10, 2009
  19. My 6 year old loves the Captain Underpants series. And also one called A to Z Mysteries.

    Comment by Maria on October 11, 2009
  20. i came across this website while teaching 6th grade boys. http://www.guysread.com/

    Comment by adrienne on October 12, 2009
  21. Many childrens like to read instead of sleeping , so that should not be a problem ! You should be happy heh !

    Comment by inflatable pontoons on October 16, 2009

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