part 1 was where I was drying my hair in the bathroom and wondering if my iron was actually, um, on which, of course, was ridiculous because I could see that the red light was on, but for some reason I didn’t trust it (conspiracy!) so IÂ put my entire finger on the iron to check and let’s just say that I spent a good portion of my afternoon with my finger dipped in a cup of ice water and am now sporting a very lovely blister. and then I asked the internets to call the wahmbulance. and lots of you thought that was funny, and then I didn’t tell anyone that I learned that phrase from The Amazing Race because I was kind of embarrassed although, you know, I did burn myself on my flat iron, so, really, embarrassment should be kind of relative at the moment.
part 2 was when I was cooking a home-cooked meal for my sister who left her husband at home in NYC to eat lean cuisines and well, I was all, “hey what’s that smell?” and then I looked down and realized that I burned a chunk of my hair at the stove and that smell was actually my burned and singed hair and I had to go and find a pair of scissors to cut that shit off.
It’s funny because when my sister comes to town we start out all best-intentiony because, well, we are both running a half-marathon in 7 weeks (egads!) so we do things like this on Friday
but by Sunday we are sending my dad out to buy a 1/2 slab birthday sheet cake even though it’s nobody’s birthday (unless you count my brand-new baby niece who was born in Montreal on Thursday night, but I’m guessing you probably don’t count that. yay for new nieces, though) but hello, buttercream! and I can assure you that we are no longer eating one-bite sized pieces. but she’s leaving today (thank god!) so I can fast for the next four days to work off the heifer-like buffets I have been stuffing into my gob.
In other news, I took my entireÂ family to meet up with HeatherB at the W hotel as sort of a pre-screening because Heather will be spending Thanksgiving at our house and 40 of my stepmother’s closest relatives. Well, it’s a good thing that Heather likes drunk people because hoo boy, were they ever. My stepmom was rambling about Nick Canon and Mariah Carey but she confused Mariah and Beyonce and we still aren’t sure where that story was coming from or what it was even aboutÂ but Heather nodded politely and pretended that my stepmom was making some kind of sense. and she didn’t even mind when my dad ordered an Old Fashioned because he thinks he’s Don Draper and when we told her that heÂ – and the car next to him too! – stopped in the middle of the street because he thought he was at a red light. and she didn’t flinch when my stepmom killed a giant-ass COCKROACH with her shoe at the table. or when my sister complimented her own boots (ha. really, she was complimenting Heather’s lovely Frye boots. I swear) Why yes, I think Thanksgiving is going to be just fine. Pour the wine, Mazel Tov.
In other news, it’s Canadian Thanksgiving! Happy turkey day to all my friends in the great white north today! esepcially to my BFF Ilana who celebrated her 25th birthday without me this week. WAH.