raised right. and straight. and with a warm gun. - Cheaper Than Therapy Cheaper Than Therapy

July 10 08

raised right. and straight. and with a warm gun.

i consider myself to have been raised right. well, that’s not entirely true. my sister and i are actually shocked that we managed to grow up to be actual functioning members of society and not banging our heads against some padded wall all girl interrupted style.

only with way better hair and probably less dead chicken carcasses under our beds.

but crazyali aside…i’m a polite person. i say my pleases and thank yous. i say yes ma’am and no sir. i say “excuse me?” instead of “what?” or “huh?” and try my damndest not to say the word “yup” (because that word? gives. me. the. shakes.)

so, it caught me by surprise this morning when i held the door open for someone, even though she was miles away, and even though i had three bags and my grande nonfat iced latte (hot this morning warranted a cold coffee. i’ve never done this before) in hand….that she didn’t say thank you.

and before my innerAli could stop myself, i blurted out

“YOU’RE WELCOME”

i guess i say my pleases and thank yous. but i’m still a bitch.

so..remember my bald daughter?

she was born bald..

and was bald at age 1…

and bald at age 2..

but right before she hits age 3….well…lookie what we have here…

a head full of CURLS.

(ps. she’s watching Enchanted in the background. it’s all we watch these days. “mommy, i need princess ‘iselle”)

and a mother who is freaking out. have you seen MY hair? STRAIGHT. i don’t know how to deal with curly hair. SEND HELP. STAT. or she’s going to be that giant frizzball walking around that you take one look at and are all “what’s wrong with her mother? didn’t she ever teach her about product?!?!”

product? the only product my stick straight hair needs is SHAMPOO and CONDITIONER. i’ve glanced past the product shelves and have been all confused…mousse? gel? hairspray? what are these things? what are they used for?

and finally…answer me this…

the last song i listened to was _________________

(my answer: Happiness is a Warm Gun by The Beatles. which, incidentally, is my all-time favorite Beatles song.)

Filed Under

The Baby, the girl behind the screen

Comments

A little mousse will probably do the trick… not too much, just a little to stop the frizz.

And the song question? Empty Walls by Serj Tankian

SciFi Dads last blog post..Sick Day
Comment by SciFi Dad on July 10, 2008
Song question – “It’s a Small World” and I have no idea who sings it. Disney Singers. Matt and I sing it in stereo.

As for the hair – buy a good detangler! Try melonheads. Their products are kind of pricey, but they are pretty good.

LDs last blog post..Noooooooobody!
Comment by LD on July 10, 2008
I have curly hair – or shall we say frizzy-hair-that-requires-much love-and-attention. It took me 20 years to figure it out. Here’s the 2 giant secrets: Don’t wash with shampoo more than 1x a week (and then only the roots) and NEVER EVER BRUSH! When you give the cutie a bath, use conditioner, but skip the shampoo. Curly hair needs the natural scalp oils to keep the frizz under control and curly hair is much drier than straight hair, so shampoo just dries it out. A cream vs. gel also works the best for maintaining those gorgeous curls all day long!

Kates last blog post..Titles, Titles Everywhere
Comment by Kate on July 10, 2008
I have the same predicament: my 4 year old daughter inherited my husband’s lovely, Shirley-Temple ringlets. My hair is completely straight so this was all new to me! I have been using adult hair products on her for two years, Herbal Essences Shampoo (leave it on for just a minute and then rinse) and Pantene Conditioner. I let that sit for like 5 minutes and then rinse. Then I just pick it out. Detangler can really make curls dry so you are better off just using water.
Comment by Jenn on July 10, 2008
Ooh, that bugs the hell out of me when people don’t thank you for holding the door!
And okay, coming from a fellow stick straight hair sister, I am so jealous of those beautiful curls!!
Lastly, Africa by Toto. Love that song!!

Katies last blog post..Our Weekend at the Seashore
Comment by Katie on July 10, 2008
Two out of 3 daughters have curls, and since mine is relatively straight, my oldest was tortured by me in her younger days, since I didn’t know how to deal with her big ringlets. I figured out how to cope with it when she was like 3, and I realized a good detangler worked wonders, as well as lots of conditioner(her hair is very thick). I use Aveda detangling spray, and it’s really great. My youngest was also bald until about 2 1/2, and now also has a big head of curls. I find that because hers is thinner, just the detangler is fine. I also don’t wash with shampoo more than once or twice a week. It just doesn’t get as frizzy.
Comment by Amberlea on July 10, 2008
I’m no help. My kids & I all have stick straight hair. Last song? “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne. Love the video, it’s hilarious!

celticbuffys last blog post..This Housing Update Brought To You By . . .
Comment by celticbuffy on July 10, 2008
My little one’s hair held steady for her first couple years then started growing growing growing. In fact, we are taking her for her first haircut next week.

Last song… The Same Fire by Bishop Allen
Comment by J. on July 10, 2008
I have curly hair. Good luck with that. I have been through 1000 products trying to fight the frizz with little luck. Hopefully her youthful, healthy hair will be easier. I will suggest that you always use conditioner and try the basic gels first.

Love the stranger “you are welcome”. I have done the same thing in my head. Speak out!

HRHs last blog post..Bonus! Holly’s blog teaches patience…
Comment by HRH on July 10, 2008
2 Buck 4 TV. Tha J-squad…
Comment by Giblet on July 10, 2008
I have very curly hair and will tell you what I wish my Mother had known when I was growing up—do NOT brush her hair when it is dry! Johnson and Johnson no more tangles worked well for me as a detangler, not sure if they even make that anymore! I personally find I NEED to shampoo every day. And gel works better than any cream/mousse. But then again I have very thick hair. You should not need product for her for a while yet. Good luck!
Comment by NEWMOM on July 10, 2008
Is it possible that I could borrow her hair for a while? So gorgeous! I can send my stick-straight stringy hair to her in the meanwhile. No? Ok then.

I would recommend Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Anti-Humidity Smoothing Milk. Long name, but it just takes away the frizz and leaves hair smooth. Just slick it on when wet, and it dries all pretty! It also (BONUS!) protects the hair from damage.

The last song I listened to was New Soul by Yael Naim or Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield – I can’t remember which.

Sarahs last blog post..YUMM
Comment by Sarah on July 10, 2008
Julia’s hair used to be really, really curly. It’s not so much any more, but when it’s humid, the curls come ’round. I use a leave-in conditioner that I bought in the salon – can’t remember the name of it (I’m too lazy right now to run upstairs and check, but if you want the name, email me and I’ll give it to you), but I put it in her hair when it’s wet.

I also use a spray called Curls Rock! that helps to lessen tangles but accentuate the curls. It works really well on her hair.

Dude – what you said to that lady this morning? I do that all. the. time. I can’t STAND it when I go out of my way to do something nice for someone else and they just walk on by like their shit doesn’t stink.

And the last song I listened to was the Sesame Street theme song. “Sunny days, sweepin’ the clouds away…”
Comment by mamatulip on July 10, 2008
The last song I listened to was “Dear Claudia” by South FM.

Also, you are soooo not a bitch. THAT WOMAN? A BITCH.

She Likes Purples last blog post..Last One Before I Go Back To Talking About Shoes Or Clothes Or Veronica Mars
Comment by She Likes Purple on July 10, 2008
Wait you aren’t supposed to sass the person who ignored the fact that you were so kind as to hold the door open for them?
Crap…I guess I am a bitch too then!

Clinks last blog post..Seven.
Comment by Clink on July 10, 2008
I have wanted to say that to people so many times but never had the guts. Next time I’ll do it in honor of you. lol

I dunno what you’re going to do with those curls but they are pretty stinkin’ adorable!

My last song…I think…was Dirty and Left Out by The Almost. Loving them right now.
Comment by AJ on July 10, 2008
It was worth the wait for all those pretty curls!

Renees last blog post..Vacation.Over.Big Frown
Comment by Renee on July 10, 2008
I hate when people don’t say thanks.
Curls…dunno, but my wife would.
Last Song: Come Downstairs and Say Hello by Guster

Hockeymans last blog post..Found Porn
Comment by Hockeyman on July 10, 2008
You’ve already gotten lots and lots of product recommendations, but the one thing I haven’t seen mentioned is DO NOT BRUSH IT. EVER. (ok, sometimes) my hair is very curly naturally, but also blondish (thus thinish if it were straight), I wash it, condition it, and then get out any knots or tangles with my fingers while it’s wet, scrunch in some product and I’m ready to go (with air drying, which is usually the drive to work).

Els last blog post..Perspective
Comment by El on July 10, 2008
Oh her curls are so cute!
Comment by Ruby on July 10, 2008
Regina Spektor Samson…if her hair is thin just use some detangler.if thicker use good conditioner.
Comment by LAVENDULA on July 10, 2008
How do you feel about “yep” instead of “yup”?

The last song I listened to was some crap by Aerosmith being played while Howard Stern played butt bongos on some lesbian’s ass.

Assertagirls last blog post..Blog privacy surveyâ€¦help a fellow blogger out.
Comment by Assertagirl on July 10, 2008
Uh-oh….looks like your husband may have been a little too friendly with the curly-haired milk-lady….:}

Last song: Jolene, by The Weepies.

Backpacking Dads last blog post..Thirty-one
Comment by Backpacking Dad on July 10, 2008
last song: Viva la vida.

Teris last blog post..For the Love of France
Comment by Teri on July 10, 2008
My daughter has incredibly curly, and often frizzy, hair.

I just let her go with it because the crazy disheveled look goes well with the tantrums.

Matthews last blog post..Meeting Bloggers can be dangerous to your kidâ€™s health
Comment by Matthew on July 10, 2008
I can totally relate. My baby girl is pretty bald right now and she is almost 1, but the hair she does have is curly. I love it, but have no idea how I will deal with it. My hair is straight and thin so the only products I use are volumizing ones.
Last song: Jason Mraz, I’m yours, love it but it’s been in my head all day.
Comment by Sarah on July 10, 2008
The last song I listened to was Wyclef Jean, sweetest girl. I don’t normally like this kind of music but I just love this album.

Little kids with curly hair?! THE CUTEST!!

Kristies last blog post..I need a favor from you, Internet
Comment by Kristie on July 10, 2008
My daughter and I both have naturally curly hair. The key to survival is coming it with a widetooth comb after a bath. oh, and the no tangle spray. So far it has worked wonders for us.
Comment by Shamelessly Sassy on July 10, 2008
OK I have a few comments.

1) You are giving me hope anout my own bald daughters. They are 8 months old and have only a tiny bit of hair.

2)Your daughter has beautiful curly hair. Mine is what I like to call a “Jew Fro” that was frizzy and crazy. If you dont believe me look back to my posts in May.

Mayas last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Comment by Maya on July 10, 2008
OMG I am so in love with those curls!! I cant help you with them though since my hair is a tragic mess. I just recommend lots of conditioner! Stay away from tangles!

Misss last blog post..Things that need to be said
Comment by Miss on July 10, 2008
Both my girls were born with some dusting of hair – blonde by the way (I am very brunette). By age 8 months, they had glorious curls – by age 2 long golden sun kissed ponytails and by age 4, we have about 20 inch ponytails (mom, my hair is in my butt crack!) The older one donated hers to Locks of Love at age 6…the little one is still growing it. It is magnificent hair, too.

oh- and last song was something annoying from Radio Disney.
Comment by swirl girl on July 10, 2008
Sweet Jeezus, that is one gorgeous head of hair. I’d shave my head for two years if I could end up with those curls in the third.

kgirls last blog post..Throw Down at the Drop-In
Comment by kgirl on July 10, 2008
Is it bad that I’m envious of a 3 year olds hair?!

Ashleys last blog post..Really! Big! News! Or Ashley Makes a Decision
Comment by Ashley on July 10, 2008
I have straight hair like yours, so I am no help. I wish I had curls, though!

The last song I listened to was “Jailhouse” by Sublime. Listening to some old-school So Cal music.

heathers last blog post..Perfectly Common
Comment by heather on July 10, 2008
Oh, aren’t her curls lovely! I would just go with that J&J detangler shampoo when it gets a little longer. Because the babies? They no likey the hairbrush with the curls. My niece was like a worm on a sidewalk.

Also, rude people suck.

Jemimas last blog post..
Comment by Jemima on July 10, 2008
ok, song: Jason Mraz, I’m Yours…love it

Hair…Addy is getting those fabulous ringlets in the back as well…I’ve been keeping them alive by combing her conditioner through her hair to keep the tangles at bay and then spraying a little Biolage (Ok, it was leftover!) leave in tonic to keep it cooperative and curly throughout the day…it kind of works like a texturizer.

Good luck with that pretty hair!

Christines last blog post..This one goes in the Super-Mom Files
Comment by Christine on July 10, 2008
Mousse! Gel is too heavy. I like Herbal Essences myself.

Also – you = all sorts of awesome 😉

Angellas last blog post..Introducing Myself
Comment by Angella on July 10, 2008
Oh my god, what gorgeous curls!

I’m not sure about little girl hair, but for my big girl curls, I put a bit of conditioner back into my hair after my shower, before I dry it. Just on the ends really, to keep the frizzes somewhat at bay.
Comment by Queen of Shake Shake on July 10, 2008
You realize people PAY to get hair like that? It’s so cute, I hope she keeps it forever.

Last song: How To Save A Life, The Fray

thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Mississippi Sissy
Comment by thecoconutdiaries on July 10, 2008
LOVE her hair!! But I will warn you…. my girls, when they grew their hair long for the first time, had curls. I wouldn’t worry TOO much about it yet. Because my curly-haired girls, now have straight hair like their mom. 🙁

Jays last blog post..When Mommy and Daddy have a social life.
Comment by Jay on July 10, 2008
Last song: “Not tonight”, Tegan and Sara

I have super straight hair too, so no advice for the curls. Sorry!
Comment by Lindsey on July 10, 2008
The Baby has curly hair too. I use a detangling kids’ shampoo AND a good conditioner and I comb it with a wide-toothed comb while it’s wet and braid it, pre-bed. I use some sort of Dove smoothing cream while I’m brushing her hair in the morning, and when I want her to look fancy, I use a glossy de-frizzing spray.

Hello, my name is Beck, and I use too much product on my baby’s hair.

Oooh! Here’s another one – I buy bitty little elastics in packages of 100 from the dollar store and then I just snip them out of her hair in the evening, rather than pulling her hair taking them out. MUCH easier.

Last song, eh? Something by Nina Simone…. “Love Me Or Leave Me.”

Rebeccas last blog post..Trixie Beldon and Mystery In Beck’s Kitchen
Comment by Rebecca on July 10, 2008
You don’t even use mousse? For volume? It makes me look better. For five minutes.

Heathers last blog post..Five Things
Comment by Heather on July 10, 2008
If it’s anything like my little monkey’s, you need a good detangling comb…. Or, like me, you’ll just get used to the matted parts….

Last song I listened to was…hmmm, I can’t remember! But, I know I was listening to Proud 103.9, so it was probably George Michaels or Kylie Minogue

Haley-Os last blog post..Thursday Thirteen: Nothing
Comment by Haley-O on July 10, 2008
Um, I’ve said “you’re welcome” too when people have not said thank you who clearly should have.

You can always pretend that you thought you heard them say thank you – I mean, what cro-magnon wouldn’t?

KCs last blog post..Great expectations
Comment by KC on July 10, 2008
What a wench. Seriously.

And?

I envy you. Or people with curly or wavy hair.

I am stuck with hair that is wavy enough that I have to straighten it but not wavy enough to leave it be. BOO.

Loralees last blog post..Um, okaaaaaaaay. I guess itâ€™s fine as long as it doesnâ€™t develop into some oedipal complex thingâ€¦
Comment by Loralee on July 10, 2008
Whenever I take my girls to the pool, I take a bottle of conditioner and leave it in their hair. It softens the curls.

Her hair is gorgeous, Ali.

ohmommys last blog post..True Confessions of a Young & Idealistic Desperate Housewife
Comment by ohmommy on July 10, 2008
The curls went to The Little Man in our family…I got nothing for you…They sure are cute though:)

Nap Wardens last blog post..Orville…Step Aside.
Comment by Nap Warden on July 10, 2008
Given my mood lately, I would have ADDED bitch to the end of the “your welcome.”
Comment by gorillabuns on July 10, 2008
I also vote for the cream, not mousse or gel. Finesse has a good one, although hard to find. I’m using the Sunsilk one now. Wide tooth comb is also great.

Last song; Nine in the Afternoon Panic at the Disco. Favorite song of the moment.

Jenn

Jenns last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Comment by Jenn on July 10, 2008
my advice for the curls, DON’T CUT THEM YET! i cut my monkey’s off, by accident (not her first hair cut either!!!), and they didn’t grow back. they looked just like hers do. shampoo every other bath, condition lots. j&j still makes a good detangler, smells like the baby shampoo (yum). don’t worry about expensive products for her hair. let it hair dry more than not, brush (yes i said it) sparingly. (though, baby brushes make it shine so pretty.)

l-o-v-e, michael buble

zeghsys last blog post..ma shoes!
Comment by zeghsy on July 11, 2008
Biosilk! (silk therapy) Pea size drop through her damp hair, it’s the most amazing stuff EVER. BEWARE-you will not be able to keep your nose out of her hair, it smells that good.

K….s last blog post..devil dog.
Comment by K.... on July 11, 2008
I always do the loud YOU’RE WELCOME to people who don’t say thanks. I do it in the car too when people don’t say thanks for my kindness in letting them merge. I don’t remember the last song I heard. But I know my favorite Beatles song is “In My Life.”

Kristabellas last blog post..The Extent Of My Political Discussion
Comment by Kristabella on July 12, 2008
I was just rearranging my iTunes library so this is tough. But I think the last thing I was listening to was something off the last Aimee Mann album.

Chriss last blog post..The Week By The Numbers: Beach Edition
Comment by Chris on July 14, 2008