i wish more Jehovah’s Witnesses came knocking at my door.
no, really, i do. (you can stop laughing now) i’m fascinated by religions in general and love to pick at the brains of the religiously inclined. i love to hear about what and why they believe. i mean, i come from a family full of jews, atheists, agnostics and pentecostals all living under one roof…see? fascinating.
but, alas, i don’t get any witnesses. all i get are the stinking neighborhood kids trying to sell me the candy.
i mean, it’s easy to say no to people trying to sell me religion. but the people trying to sell me an 8-foot-long kit kat? i just can’t say no. and! it’s a bargain! eight long feet of pure kit-kattedy goodness for only $85! and it’s for a good cause!
i just can’t say no. and then instead of buying one…i buy 6. i’ll support the blahblah school. i’m out. of. control. it’s chocolate! it’s right at my door! M&Ms. Reese’s. Coffee Crisp. Hershey Kisses. Mars. Smarties.
yesterday, however, these two little girls showed up at the door. selling freezies.
i SO didn’t want one. where was the chocolatey goodness?? i want my box of goods, damnit!
(ps. Chocolate Town? what? that’s almost as bad as calling your company Brown Town. hi google searches)
“um, hi, um, we are, um, selling, um, freezies, for, um, like, the youknow, poor people?”
what? the like um youknow poor people? what? where’s the chocolate damnit? you could tell me you were raising money for your own selfish desires and i would buy your chocolate. but this crap? no way.
so. i panicked. and said,
“I’m just the babysitter. and i don’t have any money. can you come back a little bit later?”
the girls did a look-over. they gave me the up and down. they knew i was lying. they could see me sweating. so, i slammed the door. and then i realized how they knew i was lying. i was the “babysitter” who clearly makes herself quite at home…
give me chocolate, damnit.