i wish more Jehovah’s Witnesses came knocking at my door.
no, really, i do. (you can stop laughing now) i’m fascinated by religions in general and love to pick at the brains of the religiously inclined. i love to hear about what and why they believe. i mean, i come from a family full of jews, atheists, agnostics and pentecostals all living under one roof…see? fascinating.
but, alas, i don’t get any witnesses. all i get are the stinking neighborhood kids trying to sell me the candy.
(hahaha)
fuck.
i mean, it’s easy to say no to people trying to sell me religion. but the people trying to sell me an 8-foot-long kit kat? i just can’t say no. and! it’s a bargain! eight long feet of pure kit-kattedy goodness for only $85! and it’s for a good cause!
i just can’t say no. and then instead of buying one…i buy 6. i’ll support the blahblah school. i’m out. of. control. it’s chocolate! it’s right at my door! M&Ms. Reese’s. Coffee Crisp. Hershey Kisses. Mars. Smarties.
STOP ME.
yesterday, however, these two little girls showed up at the door. selling freezies.
freezies.
(um, ew)
i SO didn’t want one. where was the chocolatey goodness?? i want my box of goods, damnit!
(ps. Chocolate Town? what? that’s almost as bad as calling your company Brown Town. hi google searches)
“um, hi, um, we are, um, selling, um, freezies, for, um, like, the youknow, poor people?”
what? the like um youknow poor people? what? where’s the chocolate damnit? you could tell me you were raising money for your own selfish desires and i would buy your chocolate. but this crap? no way.
so. i panicked. and said,
“I’m just the babysitter. and i don’t have any money. can you come back a little bit later?”
the girls did a look-over. they gave me the up and down. they knew i was lying. they could see me sweating. so, i slammed the door. and then i realized how they knew i was lying. i was the “babysitter” who clearly makes herself quite at home…
hahah.
give me chocolate, damnit.
Ha ha, nice try! But freezies? Really? Those girls have to come up with something better than freezies if they want to make any money!
Katies last blog post..Keep These in Your Back Pocket
Well, if you are looking for a little love from some religious zealots, come over my way. I get ’em all. They must think that I’m extra damned or something.
manager moms last blog post..Anatomy Of A Bathroom Visit
eight feet of kit kat?!?
eight feet?!?
a babysitter with some awesome lounge pants.
Now I know who to hit up when my kids start selling that crap.
“Let’s see how many chocolate bars “Auntie Ali” will buy, kids!”
Hahaha! I usually try the old “No Eeeeng-lish, please”, line…doesn’t work, either.
Cristans last blog post..I saw something scarier than the sharks at the Aquarium today.
Now if they’d called the company “Land of Chcocolate” we’d be on to something…
Mmmm… chocolate dogs…
Regardless of the, um, name, I could totally use a box of Chocolatetown.
She Likes Purples last blog post..What You Should Know About Me…
I’ve used the ‘I’m just the maid’ thing with telemarketers, but never in my pjs on the front porch. LOL That’s classic!
And seriously, freezies? Door to door? Ew.
We had plenty of JWs show up at the door when I was younger. My dad (the Baptist preacher) would greet them, listen to their talk, then refuse to take their literature unless they took his. No JW left our house without a good ol’ Southern Baptist tract in their pocket. lol
Hahahahaha, that is awesome.
Also, Jehovah’s Witnesses always remind me of Where the Heart Is (did you see the movie?), and also the time that two chased me down the street pelting me with Bibles on my university campus, even after I already told them I was, indeed, going to Heaven. But I don’t think I have to tell you about the religious Crazies in the South.
Mmmm, chocolate. Judging by my blog title, I’m sure you can tell my weakness there 😉
Camels & Chocolates last blog post..A Neighbor Even Mr. Rogers Wouldn’t Like
ahahhaha poor girls having the door slammed in their faces. I HATE door-to-door solicitors. I never have cash when the good ones come around, either.
Assertagirls last blog post..The obligatory pre-BlogHer post.
Are those doughnuts on your pants?!?! Awesome.
Kristies last blog post..I need a favor from you, Internet
I would have taken the Freezies over the crap we get in our neighborhood. Quit trying to sell me magazines and newspapers! Edible crap is a much easier sell.
Megans last blog post..Things I don’t get.
that’s why god invented peep holes.
Only open for UPS man delivering my monthly wine shipment.
Yeah, I live near ChocolateTown, and its as cheesy as it sounds. But when its going to rain, omgoodness it smells so fabulously good. You can seriously just about gain weight by inhaling.
DoodleBunzs last blog post..Trivial
LMFAO- omg, i’m dying! HAHAHHAA… love it.
and ps- your boobs look AMAZING!
jennsters last blog post..i’m a foul mouthed dirty whore
hahaha! Ali you are so funny.and the strangest thing kids have tried selling me.pixie sticks.and one was already opened umm no thanks!
I don’t even know what freezies are! And I LOVE candy!
We’re like, raising money for kids that have, ya know, like cooties and stuff.
wanted to put a big sign on my door that says,”ARE YOU A GIRL SCOUT? RING THE DAMN BELL, BEETCHES! I NEED ME SOME THIN MINTS!”
My husband said no, though.
Party pooper.
Loralees last blog post..Um, okaaaaaaaay. I guess it’s fine as long as it doesn’t develop into some oedipal complex thing…
I miss freezies (Mr. Freeze :} )
Out here it’s Otter Pops and they just aren’t the same.
My wife has noticed that there are a lot of “Mr” things in Canada.
Mr. Freeze. Mr. Sub. Mr. Noodles.
Backpacking Dads last blog post..Suburbanity and the Future
Next time tell them you are the nanny. More plausible 😉
Angellas last blog post..Introducing Myself
LOLOLOLOLOL.
I am so out of the loop…What is a freezy?
Nap Wardens last blog post..Orville…Step Aside.
OK what the hell is a freezie? is that some weird canadian food?
Nice PJ’S! Makes me want to jump and the couch and watch a movie with you!
Misss last blog post..Things that need to be said
OK Canada, what are freezies? I have never heard of them.
Your donut po-jammy jams are awesome, by the way.
heathers last blog post..Traffic Jam
mmmm….kitkat….
And, now you can see what you’d look like with short hair! great pic!
Haley-Os last blog post..Don’t Get Me Started
I’d mail you some but it may be nasty when it got there…;)
Hockeymans last blog post..Daddy Date Night Thursday
I keep making myself No Solicitor signs at work but never get around to putting them up at home. I really hate that sort of thing.
I do however fall for the candy sellers at the office 99% of the time. I like the chocolate covered carmel. mmmm…
bte – love the jammy pants. seriously I do. yum!-
monstergirlees last blog post..Ocean Snag
This reminds me… I bought a Subway card from a fundraiser last year, and the girl never delivered it. I want my ten bucks back!
I usually tell the kids that my little brother is selling candybars (or whatever) for his school, too, and I already bought some from him. It works every time.
Britts last blog post..The Parable of the Morning Glory
This is why I live in an apartment with a buzzer that I can ignore.
Kristabellas last blog post..The Extent Of My Political Discussion
I used to live with an Asian guy and had these two Mormon missionaries coming by my apartment FOR WEEKS trying to talk to him. It turned out it was their mission to seek out Asians in Los Angeles to spread the word to. I finally ended up telling them that my roommate, despite having the last name “Lim,” was actually Italian. Smooth, aye?
Mikes last blog post..Sick Watch: Day 2
We live on a busy street and there is always someone knocking on the door looking for $$.
Teena in Torontos last blog post..Camera Critters
Yesterday I bought two tubs of frozen chocolate chip cookie dough in support of our high school marching band.
Score. Should have bought two more though.
Stop by my place anytime…our street faces the Watchtower/Canadian Headquarter for JW’s.
It’s about a 2 minute walk.
It amazes me that they still come by so often. Same old guy with a really young guy…
PS – I’m on my second chocolate bar as I type this.
yum…meeee!
Christines last blog post..
HAHAHAHA.
I am on the Frequent Visit List for the Jehovah’s Witnesses – you can just see the hope in their faces that any moment now, I’ll convert.
Oh well. They’re rather sweet.
My husband works for a company where everyone but him and another designer are Jehoavah’s Witnesses – and it’s a lovely work enviroment.
Rebeccas last blog post..
Heck, I’d give anything for ANY one to knock on my door out here in the sticks.
I’m starting to lose my mind a bit with only having the kids to talk to.
But um, whatcha gonna do if they ACTUALLY come back? LOL.
Redneck Mommys last blog post..For The Love of A Good Power Mower
YOU are absolutely hilarious…the baby sitter…LOL!!! Good one 🙂
Lol! I think you’ve stumbled onto The Universe’s grand design somehow. I’m not sure what the message is, except the one you don’t want/can’t resist is what inevitably shows up.
anne nahms last blog post..Food Porn: Carrot Edition
Hey, just stoped to say that I like the way you write…You made my day 😀 Thanks for this! –NaNCY–