April 24 07

the only thing Isabella is more attached to than her precious Diego are her pacis. (“papis!”) and now, one is no longer good enough. when i put her in her crib at night i give her the paci and she promptly answers back all cutesy “odder paci. peese!” how can i say no to that???

we try to use it only at bedtime and in the car. but, it doesn’t always work.

sometimes i look at other babies with pacis and i think…wow, those parents are such chumps! or wow, that baby is way too old to have a pacfier! but…what i’m really thinking is wow, we need a support group for parents who can’t take the pacifier away. i just can’t do it. i managed to have two other children. i took their pacis away. i took their bottles away. but this time…it’s different. it’s my baby bella.

how could you take it away from a child this cute?

I once told Beth that for me, the pacifier, this little piece of the plastic, is the difference between having and angel child and a devil child. i’m so not even kidding, either. when i try to take it away…she’s whiny and scream-y and generally unhappy. she won’t sleep. she won’t eat. and did i mention the screaming? and the whining? and i’m fairly certain i’ve seen her channel her inner Linda Blair. when she has her paci – – – it doesn’t even need to be in her mouth, just in her hand, she’s delightful. a pure joy. she’s happy. she’s content. and there’s no screaming. and there’s no head-turning or pea soup spitting either, which is always a plus.

i don’t know about you…but it’s just not worth it.

it doesn’t stop me from trying, though.

***oh, and by the way, this post was sort-of meant to be tongue-in-cheek-y. i’m not looking for advice. or judgement. i just think it’s funny that with my first two kids these little things like pacis and bottles were easy to take away…but with Isabella i’m a super softie. maybe it’s because she’s my last.

she will not get married still sucking a pacifier or drinking from bottles (well, at least not those kind of bottles. bwah!

she’s not even 2 years old people!!! relax!

  1. SF has her burpies. She sleeps with at least 4 of them and walks around with her favorite all day…I wouldn’t dream of taking them from her…I would assume pacis are the equivalent to a lovey?

    Comment by Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom on April 24, 2007
  2. I don’t know what to tell you here, Ali.

    We did away with the pacifier at 6 months because she was waking up in the night after spitting it out and unable to put it in herself.

    Bottles were a shock for us. One day my wife said, “Soon we’re going to put your bottles away.” My daughter’s immediate response? “OK,” and then she began to collect her bottles into a bag to go “bye bye”.

    We’ve been really lucky in that regard, I know.

    Comment by SciFi Dad on April 24, 2007
  3. If you start the support group I’ll join.
    My son is 3 and addicted to his. We try only at nap/bed time and in the car. We tried to get the daycare to wean him of it as well, but they asked for it back because he was so exhausted and can’t sleep without it.
    What to do? My doctor said he’s good till he’s 4. So, I figure as long as he’s not out in public with it I’m fine with it.

    Comment by Laural on April 24, 2007
  4. Hmmm, I don’t know. I wish I had an answer but my kids were insanely easy to take the pacifier(6mo), bottle (10mo), stay in a regular bed at night after we took them out of their crib(1yr).

    I was always one of those parents that said, “OMG if they can ASK for it, then their old enough not to need it!”

    I wish you luck. The longer it goes on the worse it will be.

    Comment by Kristi on April 24, 2007
  5. Oh no! That would be really hard. I couldn’t get Avery to ever take a pacifier, you should check out my ‘Operation Plug Screamhole’ video on my sidebar to see what happened when I tried 🙂
    Good luck weaning her, it must break your heart to deny her…

    Comment by Jamie on April 24, 2007
  6. All i have to say to that video is:

    Comment by obabe on April 24, 2007
  7. Ali, I am SO feeling your pain :(((( – the Divine Miss M. lurrrrves her “dummy” (she calls it her bubby, go figure). First thing she goes for when I pick her up from daycare and guess what? She can stick 2 in her mouth at the same time, she thinks it’s hilarious.

    And ummm, our product of choice is also Mam (at $7.50 a pop, gotta love it, NOT!!!).

    (Ehem, my 4 year old still has one at night, damn it:((()

    Comment by Heidi on April 24, 2007
  8. For my wife and I, we never introduced the paci, so it made the taking it away part that much easier.

    I too see 3 or 4 years olds with them and think to myself, “my god, you really need to fix this!”

    – Jon
    – Daddy Detective

    Comment by Jon on April 24, 2007
  9. hi ali,you know who cares what other people think.if bellas a happier girl with her pacifier then let her have it.it makes her happy and have you ever seen a 5 year old going to kindergarten with one?i haven’t.when shes done she’ll wean herself .

    Comment by LAVENDULA on April 24, 2007
  10. Heh. My older two kids had their pacifiers until their second birthday.

    Comment by Rebecca on April 24, 2007
  11. ha! my mom took a passive approach to weaning me of my “pats”: i kept carrying them around the house and losing them in strange places, and eventually she just stopped looking. one by one they kept disappearing, and then they were all gone! i went around the house for a few days (weeks?) plaintively crying, “pats!” but mom just kept saying, “i don’t know, they’re gone!” eventually i forgot about them.

    the funny thing is that we finally found the last one when i was 11. 😛

    Comment by lara on April 24, 2007
  12. At least you can take a paci away! Try taking a THUMB away. At least I’ve gotten her to fondle her own boobs, rather than mine…!

    Comment by Haley-O on April 24, 2007
  13. At least you can take a paci away! Try taking a THUMB away. At least I’ve gotten her to fondle her own boobs, rather than mine…!

    LOVE THE VID, by the way!!!

    Comment by Haley-O on April 24, 2007
  14. Okay, seriously? STOP blogging the things that are in my head! I was going to blog about this today, but I got too excited by the Yann Martel “What is Stephen Harper Reading” thing. Anyway, Simon turned three in February and we’re still negotiating with him to relinquish the soother (I must justify that he only gets it at bedtime.) Sunday night he actually forgot to ask for it and slept the whole night without, so we tried to take it away last night. When he cried, I caved. It’s definitely a ‘last child’ indulgence!

    Comment by DaniGirl on April 24, 2007
  15. She is way cute! I’m all about finding ways to keep my children from channeling demons. What ever works is a good thing.

    Comment by Jana on April 24, 2007
  16. ali,

    when my daughter kate was 11 (she is now 16), her appendix burst and she (and therefore me) ended up in the hospital for 6 days. On day 3, when i finally felt comfortable exiting her room (in the t-shirt and shorts i asked my husband to bring from home, and he must have dug them out of a box of things i meant to bring to Goodwill–how is that they can’t find the ketchup in the fridge when it is front and center on the middle shelf, but when asked to bring clothes from home, they manage to dig into the dark depths of the “clothes never worn in 10 years” pile and select them as the items to bring? but i digress…) i saw a young man who was about 17 or 18, just out of appendectomy surgery and still groggy from anesthesia…sucking his thumb. I made a comment to the nurse about how cute it was, and she said i’d be surprised about how many teen and adult patients, when suffering the trauma of any kind of surgery, come out of it with thumb or finger firmly in mouth.

    i do have a point here…or maybe it’s more a cheer of support for letting your last baby suck that paci, because the need for comfort is so primal and why not let her have it for as long as she needs it?

    this “it’s my last child, so…” also extends well beyond babyhood, as in “he’s my last child, so he can have the last ice cream sandwich” or “sure, he can stay up an extra hour to watch the game” or “i don’t care if you have 4 cookies an hour before dinner”. there is a line between parental weariness and seeing the big picture, i’m just not sure what it is on a daily basis.


    Comment by amy on April 24, 2007
  17. Gawd, I needed a twelve step program to wean my kids off of them too… thankfully snipping little holes in them drove them nuts and as they rendered them useless my kids couldn’t be bothered trying to get em’ to work anymore and just ditched them on her own.

    Comment by Jasmine on April 24, 2007
  18. You’re right. She’s still totally little. There was a really cute episode of “Supernanny” (I know, I know) where the little girl wouldn’t get rid of them – so she told her that the paci fairy will come and take her old pacies (to give to the babies who need them) and leave her a present….so they went around and collected them all and put them in a bag and hung it from the tree out front…and in the morning, there was other bag with a dolly in it. It was the cutest thing ever.

    Comment by Aimee on April 24, 2007
  19. It could be worse. My cousin sucked her thumb until she was 12 and her brother peed himself until he was 11. I don’t mean to make my family sound weird, but my other cousin had “accidents” until he was 11. No problems with me or my brother and sister though.

    Comment by Keri on April 24, 2007
  20. Its amazing the suction power babies/toddlers have on their pacifiers! haha. WOW! 🙂

    Comment by Drea on April 25, 2007
  21. some nights I want a paci, though I think that means I need alot of mental help

    Comment by Sparky Duck on April 25, 2007
  22. You know my philosophy, Ali. If it offers her comfort then why take it away? Growing up is hard enough. Eventually both of you will know when it is time. Trust your instincts. Every child is different. We moms don’t do that enough!

    Comment by Jen on April 30, 2007
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