Remember when i went to St. Lucia?

and remember when i told you that it was a great vacation but the service was so bad it was almost comical? and remember when i told you that Ilana was on the case?? well, lookie what showed up yesterday….

Our apologies are reiterated for any unhappiness experienced by you and your travel companions.  Your patronage is extremely important to us and we hope you will give us the opportunity to renew your faith in our product.  In the hopes that you will visit with us again, we attach our goodwill gesture for your consideration.

J. Christine Taylor, MSc.
Vice-President, Customer Service
Sandals/Beaches Resorts International

um, yes, that would be TWO free nights at any Sandals resort. for all six of us.  boom. chicka. wow. wow.

take that, Sandals!

oh yes, that is my tongue touching my nose. i AM a woman of many talents. sure, it may not be as impressive as hers…but it’s something, damnit.

other hidden talents of mine include…

…i’m ridiculously good at remembering everything that’s unimportant. birthdays of people i went to elementary school with. what people were wearing the first time i met them. every single line to every single movie i’ve ever seen. if it’s a meaningless bit of information, i’ve got it stored in my memory. (i get this from my grandmother. she has Alzheimer’s. and she has trouble remember who i am, but she can tell you every single thing that has EVER happened on The Young and the Restless)

…i am really good on the piano. i took lessons for YEARS from a scary old German man that my sister and i were convinced had Nazi ties. (we thought this, of course, because we were Jewish and he used to slap our wrists with his pointer and rattle on in German) (we found out later that he, like my own grandfather, was a holocaust SURVIVOR. and then we felt shitty) (especially because he turned me into a good player)

…i’m really good at spring cleaning. i cleaned out both of our cars on sunday (and i found a missing pair of sandals. *love*) and last night i spent FOUR hours cleaning out my closet. i love to purge. the problem is that i also love to buy. i donated THREE bags of clothing while watching little smug, leelee sobieski-looking, singing sensation Ashley get the boot on the Bachelor. I’m not sorry to see her go.

(and by donated, i actually mean that i filled the bags and put them in the corner of the room to sit there until the husband gets tired of reminding me to go and take them and then he’ll take them himself…another thing i’m good at…wearing him down!)

…i can, if i allow myself, eat like a man.  you put a pizza down in front of me…and i could eat four slices without batting a mascara’ed eyelash. i can down a huge hamburger with all the fixings. plus fries. i can eat more than one piece of cake. i can eat an entire container of Oreos in one sitting. and i’m SO not the type to go out for a meal and order a salad. GRR. that makes me so angry. nobody really wants a salad…and nobody is buying your story that you aren’t hungry. when i go out to eat, i go out to eat. i can eat salad at home.

what are your hidden talents???

and for no other reason than this was such a rare occasion…i’m sharing this photo with you. (yes, yes, i stole the description off of my flickr site, so i’m sorry for the recycled material…)

sometimes, i need to pretend that my hip-hopping way-too-grown-up daughter is still my little girl. and i force her to wear dresses with flowers on them. and i force her to match her baby sister. and then i *swoon* at how adorable she looks.

a mom can try.