March 25 08
of b-rate nursery rhyme proportions

we have a situation as casa de martell.  a humpty dumpty situation.

y’all already know the story. dude sat on a wall. he had a great fall. and pretty much no one could get the stinkin’ egg back to together again.

it’s not the most exciting story, i know. but it is the reason that our daughter sleeps no more. and no longer plays by herself in her room.

she’s afraid of her room. because, apparently, humpty dumpty lives in there. Remember when we came back from St. Lucia and she wouldn’t sleep? and i was convinced she was punishing me? Well, it turns out that i’m a way worse mother than i thought. she wasn’t punishing me. she was crying for help.

help from him.

(okay…maybe she’s right….he does look kinda, erm, clown-like and creepy)

we’ve tried everything. we’ve brought in the fantastic nurseryrhyme-busters (aka mommy and daddy) to come in and comb the place for unwanted imaginary characters.  we’ve gotten her British grandparents to come in and tell her not to be silly….humpty dumpty is British, of course, and lives in London. far, far, far away from Canada. we’ve removed all the books that have any trace of humpty dumpty in them.

and she bought it. she slept beautifully at night. “There’s no humpty dumpty in my room!”

hallelujah.

until her ever-so-kind older brother pointed this out:

and now she won’t sleep any more.

or eat potato chips.

great.

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  1. OMG — sorry, but that is HILARIOUS!!!! (not the sleeping part of course)

    Holly’s last blog post..Ending Breast Cancer… One Bump at a Time

    Comment by Holly on March 25, 2008

  2. Oh dear!!!!
    Good luck with that one.
    My son told my niece there were monsters in her room and it took my sister weeks to convince her otherwise!

    LD’s last blog post..Easter, Leg Art & A Sleepy Boy!

    Comment by LD on March 25, 2008

  3. Oh no! Is she afraid of Humpty Dumpty himself or the idea that he can’t be put back together? If it’s the former maybe you could let her crack an egg over the side of a table and then Humpty Dumpty be gone…or worse she then hates eggs! I’ve got nothing. Good luck!

    Comment by Steph on March 25, 2008

  4. Snicker…

    That is VERY funny. Seriously funny. Well, except for the lack of sleep thing.

    No…still funny.

    The things that get kids are just amazing.

    Naomi (Urban Mummy)’s last blog post..Blog Hiatus

    Comment by Naomi (Urban Mummy) on March 25, 2008

  5. First of all, even though it makes her scared and makes your life difficult, I have to admit to laughing a little at your son’s big brothering skillz.

    I know she’s young, but what about trying to figure out WHERE he is in the room, and then providing some form of protection. Removing him doesn’t work; trying to prove he isn’t there doesn’t work; so maybe the answer isn’t to get her to think he’s not there, but rather that she’s safe where she is.

    As far as how to do that, maybe some kind of canopy over her bed (maybe one of those rings with mosquito netting draped over her bed, or one of those ikea leaf canopies – which are A BITCH to get together, but she might like) or something like that.

    SciFi Dad’s last blog post..TPS: Press Release

    Comment by SciFi Dad on March 25, 2008

  6. When I was little someone read me a book called “How to Prevent Monster Attacks” and I was absolutely terrified of sleeping in my room after that. What finally took care of it for me was a sleeping bag between the sheets on my bed. Somehow I felt secure inside there, like nothing could harm me inside my little protective shell, and I slept like that for months. All that to say, I’m with SciFi Dad, maybe the best next step is to find her something that makes her feel safe even if he DID show up in her room.

    And Josh has this big brother thing mastered. He’ll be torturing her for years now that he knows he can. lol

    Comment by AJ on March 25, 2008

  7. Oh my GAWD. I would have been torn between laughing at Josh and wanting to strangle him. LOL!

    Does she have a magic wand? When Julia gets creeped out by something I tell her to sleep with her magic wand, so that if she gets scared she can wave her wand and the yuckiness will disappear.

    mamatulip’s last blog post..Sound bytes: The “What’s taking so damn long, spring?” edition

    Comment by mamatulip on March 25, 2008

  8. i know how she feels when i was 5 i saw the evil easter bunny outside my bedroom window and still hate big oversized teeth.

    Comment by LAVENDULA on March 25, 2008

  9. That is one of the freakiest Humpty Dumpty’s I have ever seen. I’d be scared too.

    Lindz’s last blog post..Nice underpants! (who says underpants?)

    Comment by Lindz on March 25, 2008

  10. How have I not noticed how terrifying Humpty Dumpty is until now? Now I’m going to have nightmares.

    Sorry, I’ll be of no help. Mine has “bad deems” about the strangest things almost nightly.

    andi’s last blog post..But it’s 10 years too soon!

    Comment by andi on March 25, 2008

  11. we had problems at our house with the kids being afraid of monsters. so, I told them that we had a crew out to install an invisible monster fence while we were at work. it doesn’t allow any monsters anywhere on our property. and then sometimes I say things like “did you hear that? that’s the monster fence at work” like when there’s a strange noise outside. luckily for me, it makes them relieved.

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    Comment by jennie on March 25, 2008

  12. OMG I miss ketchup chips!!!!!

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    Comment by Becca on March 25, 2008

  13. Poor thing! I was afraid of the the pokaroo, from Poka Dot door (only Canadians would remember that) for the longest time.

    Comment by Cleo on March 25, 2008

  14. Ketchup chips?

    Hm.

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    Comment by Maryann on March 25, 2008

  15. Holy cow. Thats traumatizing!

    Miss’s last blog post..Here’s some funny

    Comment by Miss on March 25, 2008

  16. Sorry, Ali. We haven’t slept here in over 8 years. And you can’t really blame the kid…look at HIM!

    Comment by Jen on March 25, 2008

  17. Now I’M going to have nightmares.

    Thanks.

    Jennifer’s last blog post..Jon, Tate, and Jennifer Plus 8

    Comment by Jennifer on March 25, 2008

  18. Monkey was TERRIFIED of Humpty Dumpty when she was a baby. Whenever the “Baby Songs” video of it came on, she’d SCREAM! I think it was the first thing she was ever really afraid of!

    Haley-O’s last blog post..Downtown Toronto & One Last Picture of the Rascal for the Road (With Explanation)

    Comment by Haley-O on March 25, 2008

  19. Those chips USED TO be made here. grrr Still my favorite, though not ketchup, that’s SWMBO’s fav.
    Perhaps someone to guard against the ‘Bad Egg’ would help. Someone like Oscar the Grouch, or other suitable Anti-Humptiite(?) might do the trick if they look tough enough.

    Mike S’s last blog post..Just Plain Funny

    Comment by Mike S on March 25, 2008

  20. Those photos of humpty dumpty are going to give ME nightmares.

    I hate clowns.

    *shudder*

    Maybe burn the bag and show her he’s gone?

    🙂

    Comment by Angella on March 25, 2008

  21. Older brothers have that knack.

    Mine told me that if I ever got grounded, my mom would actually BURY me under the ground.

    You can imagine how bad I freaked out the first time I got in trouble.

    Kristabella’s last blog post..I Have Things to Say

    Comment by Kristabella on March 25, 2008

  22. When I was about five, I was convinced that the Hamburger Helper Hand was coming out of my wall to strangle or molest me in some way. I don’t know how I got over it, but I still cringe at the commercials….

    k8’s last blog post..Easter Grace

    Comment by k8 on March 25, 2008

  23. Our rabbi gave us the cure for when Haley thought there were monsters in her room. A lovely bottle of perfume-y stuff…in her favorite color…like from Bath & Body Works or something…told her it was Monster Spray. AND that Rabbi Rami assured us that this worked.

    So every night our bedtime routine included spritzes of nice smelling stuff to keep the monsters away.

    Humpty Dumpty is pretty freakin’ scary…I mean really, an egg? With arms and legs? On a wall?

    Di’s last blog post..Is this a sign that Baseball season is starting?

    Comment by Di on March 25, 2008

  24. Must be something in the air. My five year old doesn’t want to sleep in her room either. She claims it’s because the Cat and the Hat might come out from under her dresser. It hasn’t helped that I slept with her all Easter weekend because we had family staying with us. Now she claims she can’t sleep ever again without me.

    Shan’s last blog post..spreading the linky love #9

    Comment by Shan on March 25, 2008

  25. Poor little girl.
    WE made monster spray – water in a spray bottle with some lavender extract in it – and sprayed it around at bedtime, talking loudly about its monster repelling qualities. It worked with our dopey young ‘uns.

    Rebecca’s last blog post..A book review, a new blog, The Baby says stuff and an explanation.

    Comment by Rebecca on March 25, 2008

  26. Wow, that’s crazy. My daughter had a similar situation with a teddy bear of hers that was black and brown and until we got rid of it out of her room (kicking it out the door, litteraly!) she would not sleep. of course it tooks us days to figure that out. It is pretty funny though! I admit he IS creepy!

    aline’s last blog post..Did I Miss Out on Bonding Because I Had a C-Section?

    Comment by aline on March 25, 2008

  27. I don’t know if I want to live in a world where a two year old is afraid to eat chips!

    Chantal’s last blog post..Magic

    Comment by Chantal on March 25, 2008

  28. Oh, the poor thing! Just remember, it’s a phase and hopefully it won’t last too long 🙂

    Multi-Tasking Mommy’s last blog post..FINALLY!!!

    Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on March 25, 2008

  29. LOL! Kids sure are creative at finding ways not to go to bed aren’t they?

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    Comment by Mom On The Run on March 25, 2008

  30. aaaw.. poor little thing! hehe..
    brothers are so mean!

    Bronnie’s last blog post..Weight loss improves;

    Comment by Bronnie on March 25, 2008

  31. There are few things in life as freakish as clowns. (Except, maybe Michael Jackson.)

    Loralee’s last blog post..Self-Portrait Challenge: Political

    Comment by Loralee on March 25, 2008

  32. That Humpty Dumpty will haunt my dreams.

    metalia’s last blog post..Dear Internet: Help!

    Comment by metalia on March 26, 2008

  33. I wish I were afraid of chips. I think I’d lose weight.

    Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..The Heredity Alibi aka Let’s Blame Daddy

    Comment by Queen of Shake Shake on March 31, 2008

  34. […] but, the most interesting and hilarious part of the whole gift was the card. (now, grammy and grandpa, if you are reading…this was the perfect gift. ISabella is going to DIE of happiness when she sees it. and once i fit it in her bedroom, she may never come out. which will be a welcome change…because? remember the whole humpty dumpty freak-out incident?) […]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » of pasta birthdays and pineapple express dreams on August 7, 2008

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    Comment by Boris Richardson on November 12, 2008
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