Cheaper Than Therapy

of b-rate nursery rhyme proportions

The Baby

we have a situation as casa de martell.  a humpty dumpty situation.

y’all already know the story. dude sat on a wall. he had a great fall. and pretty much no one could get the stinkin’ egg back to together again.

it’s not the most exciting story, i know. but it is the reason that our daughter sleeps no more. and no longer plays by herself in her room.

she’s afraid of her room. because, apparently, humpty dumpty lives in there. Remember when we came back from St. Lucia and she wouldn’t sleep? and i was convinced she was punishing me? Well, it turns out that i’m a way worse mother than i thought. she wasn’t punishing me. she was crying for help.

help from him.

(okay…maybe she’s right….he does look kinda, erm, clown-like and creepy)

we’ve tried everything. we’ve brought in the fantastic nurseryrhyme-busters (aka mommy and daddy) to come in and comb the place for unwanted imaginary characters.  we’ve gotten her British grandparents to come in and tell her not to be silly….humpty dumpty is British, of course, and lives in London. far, far, far away from Canada. we’ve removed all the books that have any trace of humpty dumpty in them.

and she bought it. she slept beautifully at night. “There’s no humpty dumpty in my room!”

hallelujah.

until her ever-so-kind older brother pointed this out:

and now she won’t sleep any more.

or eat potato chips.

great.

Comments

  3. Steph says

    Oh no! Is she afraid of Humpty Dumpty himself or the idea that he can’t be put back together? If it’s the former maybe you could let her crack an egg over the side of a table and then Humpty Dumpty be gone…or worse she then hates eggs! I’ve got nothing. Good luck!

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  5. SciFi Dad says

    First of all, even though it makes her scared and makes your life difficult, I have to admit to laughing a little at your son’s big brothering skillz.

    I know she’s young, but what about trying to figure out WHERE he is in the room, and then providing some form of protection. Removing him doesn’t work; trying to prove he isn’t there doesn’t work; so maybe the answer isn’t to get her to think he’s not there, but rather that she’s safe where she is.

    As far as how to do that, maybe some kind of canopy over her bed (maybe one of those rings with mosquito netting draped over her bed, or one of those ikea leaf canopies – which are A BITCH to get together, but she might like) or something like that.

    SciFi Dad’s last blog post..TPS: Press Release

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  6. AJ says

    When I was little someone read me a book called “How to Prevent Monster Attacks” and I was absolutely terrified of sleeping in my room after that. What finally took care of it for me was a sleeping bag between the sheets on my bed. Somehow I felt secure inside there, like nothing could harm me inside my little protective shell, and I slept like that for months. All that to say, I’m with SciFi Dad, maybe the best next step is to find her something that makes her feel safe even if he DID show up in her room.

    And Josh has this big brother thing mastered. He’ll be torturing her for years now that he knows he can. lol

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  8. LAVENDULA says

    i know how she feels when i was 5 i saw the evil easter bunny outside my bedroom window and still hate big oversized teeth.

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  11. jennie says

    we had problems at our house with the kids being afraid of monsters. so, I told them that we had a crew out to install an invisible monster fence while we were at work. it doesn’t allow any monsters anywhere on our property. and then sometimes I say things like “did you hear that? that’s the monster fence at work” like when there’s a strange noise outside. luckily for me, it makes them relieved.

    jennie’s last blog post..Who’s that knocking at my door

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  13. Cleo says

    Poor thing! I was afraid of the the pokaroo, from Poka Dot door (only Canadians would remember that) for the longest time.

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  19. Mike S says

    Those chips USED TO be made here. grrr Still my favorite, though not ketchup, that’s SWMBO’s fav.
    Perhaps someone to guard against the ‘Bad Egg’ would help. Someone like Oscar the Grouch, or other suitable Anti-Humptiite(?) might do the trick if they look tough enough.

    Mike S’s last blog post..Just Plain Funny

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  20. Angella says

    Those photos of humpty dumpty are going to give ME nightmares.

    I hate clowns.

    *shudder*

    Maybe burn the bag and show her he’s gone?

    🙂

    Reply

  22. k8 says

    When I was about five, I was convinced that the Hamburger Helper Hand was coming out of my wall to strangle or molest me in some way. I don’t know how I got over it, but I still cringe at the commercials….

    k8’s last blog post..Easter Grace

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  23. Di says

    Our rabbi gave us the cure for when Haley thought there were monsters in her room. A lovely bottle of perfume-y stuff…in her favorite color…like from Bath & Body Works or something…told her it was Monster Spray. AND that Rabbi Rami assured us that this worked.

    So every night our bedtime routine included spritzes of nice smelling stuff to keep the monsters away.

    Humpty Dumpty is pretty freakin’ scary…I mean really, an egg? With arms and legs? On a wall?

    Di’s last blog post..Is this a sign that Baseball season is starting?

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  24. Shan says

    Must be something in the air. My five year old doesn’t want to sleep in her room either. She claims it’s because the Cat and the Hat might come out from under her dresser. It hasn’t helped that I slept with her all Easter weekend because we had family staying with us. Now she claims she can’t sleep ever again without me.

    Shan’s last blog post..spreading the linky love #9

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