So, I saw one of these things circulating on Pinterest. Or possibly Facebook. Or maybe even Twitter. It’s impossible to tell anymore, where I see all of the infographics. They are mixed in with the plethora of someecards (full of “that awkward moment”s and “â€”said no one, ever”s) and political statements and pictures of delicious foods (Nutella-Stuffed Brown Butter + Sea Salt Chocolate Chip Cookies, are you kidding me?) and political statements that are maybe, possibly, usually full of name-calling and half-truths. Also, the pictures of nail polish.
But, yes, this infographic.
It said something about if you are happy, do nothing, but if you are unhappy, fix something.
This makes no sense without the actual photo. Off to my good pal google.
And here’s the thing.Â I am so blissfully happy right now.Â I take a look at that graphic and I smile to myself and say, well, then, just keep doing whatever you’re doing, self…and things will be forever brilliant.
Why is it so hard to say it? To scream from the rooftops “YES! I AM HAPPY!”Â It’s as if admitting happiness somehow means that I’m doing this whole blogging thing wrong. Or something. Surely blogging is supposed to be about self-deprecation, right? The right thing to do is to tell you about the coffees I have too late at night that always seem like a good idea but end up with me watching infomercials about the CamiSecret (turn your bra into a fake tank top!) at 3am. The right thing to do is to tell you about my shattered teeth and my TMJ and my grinding addiction (that’s what she said) and the impressions I had to get at the dentist for my brand-new mouth guard (I’m a sexy beast, yo). The right thing to do is to tell you how I’m a crappy tooth fairyÂ and how I dropped my phone in the toiletÂ and where I stand politically and who I am voting for come election day.
(It’s President Obama, in case it matters.)
I’m really good at blogging the ridiculous, the train wrecks, the stuff that’s worthy of internet rubbernecking.
I’m just not as good at blogging the mundane, the boring, the justis.
Maybe it’s less interesting that I go to bed smiling every night and I wake up smiling every morning. Maybe it makes me less relatable somehow?
But, this happiness that I feel right now?Â It’s all a product of this journey, the one I have beenÂ chroniclingÂ here since 2004. It’s *because* of this blogging thing that I am so happy right now.Â It took so many changes to get here. It took too many times looking at the fake infographic (ARE YOU HAPPY?) in my headâ€”too many NOs and I *want* to be happys to finally figure out that if I want to be happy, I have to work to GET HAPPY.
I was unhappy with my job, my commute, my entire career situation. So, I made a huge leap. And it paid off, eleven-fold.
I was unhappy with my children’s school situation. So, I made another huge leap. And I am brought to tears every time I talk about how well all three of my kids are doing this year.
I was unhappy with my health, my body, my bones. So, I joined a gym and once a week at 5:30am, I allow a trainer named Antonio to kick my ass and make me do hundreds of dreaded squats and burpees.
I was unhappy to not have a passionate passion in life, so I picked up my camera, turned it off of auto, and learned the crap out of how to use it. And now it’s paying off, and not just in actual dollars.
I was unhappy that I was relying on so much medication to deal with my anxiety, and so I am learning new coping skills, and have been off of Xanax for exactly six months.
So, I hope you don’t think less of me because I’m happy. I’ll hope you’ll continue to read, even if sometimes it’s mundane, boring, and justis. Because even though some of it is boring, I still manage to have my skirts fly up to earlobes when walking over downtown grates, and I still manage to stick my feet (both of ’em) into my mouth an awful lot and I still can’t sit down on a toilet seat or walk down a flight of steps without looking like my Bubbie (damn squats).