November 23 11

Sometimes all it takes is one look. In this case, it was three—

hers, his, hers

—to know.

It’s the right decision. It’s the right move. It’s RIGHT.

“Wait. Really, Mama? Like, home home? Like every single day home?”

You could see it in their eyes. The slight skepticism, the hope, the relief.

“We’re getting you back? We have really missed you.”

As have I.

Missed them.

Terribly.

What began as an exciting adventure 7 months ago, one that I wouldn’t trade, is coming to an end.

In 8 days.

I will be leaving Canadian Family.

I had thought it was going to get better—the long commute, the long days, the tireds, the stress, the being away from my family. But instead of getting better, it got worse. I lost weight, I was moody, my hair started falling out like I was a goddamn Golden Retriever. And then came the pink tutu.

That silly pink tutu.

But I knew. I knew as I was typing the words for that post. I knew that changes were going to have to be made. I knew that something was going to have to happen so I could just stop weeping.

And in a meeting that was filled with so much anxiety, so much sadness, so much heavy heart, I quit my job.

I had never quit a job before. I don’t recommend it. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world—letting down people you love, people you care about, people who depend on you.

But it was the right decision.

There are some fabulous things in the works for me.

And they all involve the word HOME.

(The whole working-in-PJs thing is just a bonus)

There are photography courses and home studios and websites to be set up and passions to be explored.

There is an office desk and supplies to be purchased and work to be created.

There are words like Editor. In. Chief. on the horizon. Oh this is a good one; a really, really good one.

There will be carpools and playdates and school presentations to go to.

And there are three little faces—hers, his, hers—who are hugging me just a little bit tighter today. Because, for them, having Mama back is better than Disneyland.

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  1. Oh, lady. You can just feel all the way through this post that you made the right decision for you and your bunnies. What a relief for all of you. Looking forward to hearing all of your new adventures. Only good things from here!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on November 23, 2011
  2. It’s always hard when you have to make a decision like this. When your hair starts falling out though, it’s definitely time for a change. Luckily you’re a smart, motivated woman and it probably wouldn’t matter if you were working on milk crates in the garage, you’d be fine.

    So hurray for new opportunities and kids happy to have their mama back!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jessica on November 23, 2011
  3. It is too early to be crying but you have made me do it again! I feel your pain but congrats!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chris on November 23, 2011
  4. “It’s one of the worst feelings in the world—letting down people you love, people you care about, people who depend on you” – ironically you will be doing the exact OPPOSITE for your kids.. how cool is that!!!

    I’m living this right now – I had a 17 yr soft. development career and then our company was bought out and closed 18 mths ago. I’ve been at home and except for the $$ loss it has been the BEST for my family – and for me! If you have any work-from-home tips for me I’d appreciate them. I have been interiewing for a real job and every part of me KNOWS that between the long commute to montreal and back AND a 9 hr day .. this is TOO long to be away from family.

    Good for you Ali, you have your priorities straight on!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on November 23, 2011
  5. Good for you! It takes a lot of courage to walk away from a job, especially one you like, and do what is right for you and your family.

    I might miss the subway blog fodder :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Heather on November 23, 2011
  6. Good for you! How unfortunate your current employer couldn’t accommodate some sort of work from home scenario for you. I commute to Queen’s Park every day from Durham Region and resent every second of the 1.5 hour each way commute but it must be done. Jealous! Enjoy!

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Thanks!

    They were AMAZING actually, and really, really tried to make something more flexible work for me. I was overly impressed with them :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Steph on November 23, 2011
  7. Congratulations Ali on making a decision that works for you and your family. We’ve talked before about the struggle to figure out what works at a given time for us, for our kids, for our passion, for our relationships, for our priorities…it changes constantly, and I’m so impressed that you can recognize when change is needed and initiate that change.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    Yes. Jen. I KNOW you are feeling me here.
    It’s so hard. So, so hard.
    But this time, I just knew.
    I KNEW. I felt it all the way down to my tippy toes.
    And I was looking at these kids who just want to be with me…and some days I didn’t even see them. So hard.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jennifer on November 23, 2011
  8. Oh, I am SO happy for you!! So happy. :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Angella on November 23, 2011
  9. Yay! I’m so happy for you and your family that you’ll get to be together more, and that you won’t miss anymore pink tutus.

    Good luck too on the upcoming endeavors it sounds like are in the works!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Curly Girl. on November 23, 2011
  10. When I had Preston and went on mat leave, my kids were STOKED. “You mean I don’t have to go to After School anymore?” “You’ll be home every day?!” “You’ll pick me up from school EVERY DAY?!” It’s so lovely being home for them that I might just not go back to work (outside the home).

    As I said earlier, I’m happy and sad, but mostly happy that you get your time with your kids back and your kids get you back.

    xo

    [Reply]

    Comment by Mrs. Wilson on November 23, 2011
  11. So happy to hear of good things happening for you. And doubly glad that it came after everyone trying to do their best to make it work. You know you tried, you know they tried and you can all walk away knowing that it just means the path ahead is the right one.

    Congratulations on good things to come. Working from home is its own challenge, but I’d never trade it. I work hard all the time, but when my kids need me they are in my arms. It matters, and it fills my heart.

    xo

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    I WANT TO PRINT THIS COMMENT OUT AND FRAME IT.

    yes. yes.
    Exactly. yes.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on November 23, 2011
  12. I can’t imagine how hard it is to walk in with a heavy heart and quit a job but still knowing it is the right thing to do.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sharon on November 23, 2011
  13. You know I get this. I’m proud of you. xoxox

    [Reply]

    Comment by Alex on November 23, 2011
  14. Mozel Tov!!! I know that this was a hard decision to come to and though difficult, you’ll unlikely look back and regret it.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Rae Ann on November 23, 2011
  15. Such a huge decision. But such a GREAT decision. I went back to work when my daughter was one…for six months. I left a company I’d been with for 13.5 years, a company that had been there for me after my cancer diagnosis, through all my treatment, and through our family-building challenges. They were like family, too. But my brain needed a different challenge, and our daughter needed her momma. So here I am, working from home part time and hanging with the kiddo the rest of the time. Both are uber challenging at times, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
    Your kids will remember this time with you forever. And your own suitcase of memories is about to get a lot more full.
    Congrats. Looking forward to hearing what’s on the horizon!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Karma on November 23, 2011
  16. So happy that you found a way to make this all work for you. I entered the WAHM world kicking and screaming, but I turns out it has been the best thing for all involved. Way to go, Ali, and congrats to the kids!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Tamara on November 23, 2011
  17. Oh Ali, I feel like we were just talking about this the other day… I completely understand your decision. I’m sure it was a difficult one to make but you know in your heart what you must do.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    YES! We did just talk about it. Last week was a very tough one for me emotionally.

    but I am insanely happy right now.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Maria @amotherworld on November 23, 2011
  18. Congratulations, Ali.
    I’m really happy for you. I know the feeling completely. I have quit to put my family first. I want to be at home, to be there for my kids, and I have been. My heart is here. I don’t regret a second.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Pam @writewrds on November 23, 2011
  19. I know how much that commute was killing you! All the best on the next adventure…

    [Reply]

    Comment by Emma on November 23, 2011
  20. They aren’t kids forever. I love working at home and part-time at that. I want to spend time with my boy! Congratulations.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Harriet on November 23, 2011
  21. Congratulations! :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sandy on November 23, 2011
  22. Congratulations Ali!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Chantal on November 23, 2011
  23. So strange to read this today as it’s my last day of work. I quit to be at home with my 1.5 year old son. I agree, it felt terrible to quit. Best of luck to you! Sounds like amazing things are on the horizon.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on November 23, 2011
  24. You know I am so thrilled for you! xoxo

    [Reply]

    Comment by Loukia on November 23, 2011
  25. I’m so ridiculously excited for you! xoxoxoxo

    [Reply]

    Comment by Kristabella on November 23, 2011
  26. Oh Ali, I am teary for you. This is just plain amazing.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Issa on November 23, 2011
  27. I am so, SO happy for you and the rest of the Martell clan. SO HAPPY.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Meghan on November 23, 2011
  28. Wow!
    I’m thrilled for you Ali. It sounds like the best decision for you and your lovely family. Congratulations!

    [Reply]

    Comment by andrea from the fishbowl on November 23, 2011
  29. I swear I’m not creepy stalking you, but I a follow up question did occur.

    Will you still be doing ‘Inside Ali’s Closet: The Work-from-home edition?’

    Please say yes. You know you have a whole bunch of cute stay at home looks to show us.

    [Reply]

    ali replied on

    YES!! It will still be every week…it will just include a lot more JEANS…once I buy some jeans that fit me :)

    [Reply]

    Comment by Jen on November 23, 2011
  30. Yay, Ali! Congrats!!

    [Reply]

    Comment by AmazingGreis on November 23, 2011
  31. Congrats on making the move to the site that I know you’re moving to. I know you, and I could tell how much that commute was killing you – no matter how awesome the job is, if you’re drained before you get there, it can’t be a long-term thing.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Avitable on November 23, 2011
  32. Good for you! You and your family deserve happiness and you deserve a chance to spread your wings and take risks-from the safety of your nest!

    [Reply]

    Comment by LibraryGirl62 on November 23, 2011
  33. Quitting a job is always tough when you love the people involved.
    But being at home for your babies is like nothing else. Love.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Nenette on November 24, 2011
  34. I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. And as I said on Facebook, how wild that you’re working for Erica, as her mom spent the first month on SAS with me this fall! Love her.

    [Reply]

    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on November 30, 2011
  35. behind the times. Congrats!

    [Reply]

    Comment by Sarah on November 30, 2011
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