February 11 13

Emily’s Bat Mitzvah is in 27 days. A month yesterday.

I have spent the better part of the last year working on invitations and accoutrements, dresses and shoes. I spend far too much time on Etsy, dealing with friendship drama, planning black and white poms, stickers with her logo on them, pricing out cellophane bags, help Emily write her speech, buying masquerade masks, making decisions about balloons, tracking down a Taylor Swift dress, looking for the perfect sign-in idea that isn’t what everyone else does (We found one—I am unreasonably excited about it) and oh my heavenly days, did you know that you can get cookies made with the Bat Mitzvah girl’s face on them?

I was feeling overwhelmed, of course, but simultaneously feeling confident that the ducks were finally all lining up in a semi-neat little row and there was a good chance that we were actually going to pull this thing off.

And then Friday happened.

“Due to unforeseen circumstances, The Rosehill venue is officially closed.”

WHAT?! Wait…WHAT?! The Rosehill? As in, the place we had chosen in early summer to have this event? Closed. Exactly thirty days before.

Thirty days.

So, I did what any normal mother would have done. I cried and ate several (dozen) homemade chocolate chip cookies. And then some chocolate cream pie. And then some ice cream cake.

I don’t even like ice cream.

Emotional eating is a real thing, and you know what, it’s alive and well in the Toronto nosebleeds.

And then we got on the phone. And called, and called, and called, and called. We got on the internet and emailed, messaged, texted. We allowed friends to go above and beyond for us, calling in favors and recommending options for us. We threw all three kids in the car and went to see possible last-minute venues. We will be doing it again today. And tomorrow. And probably the next day.

It’s funny, this.

Emily’s Bat Mitzvah speech is about hidden miracles, that even though there’s no mention of god anywhere in the story of Purim (unlike, you know, the Passover story or the Hanukkah story, which included such big grand god gestures like giant seas splitting completely down the middle and oil lasting way longer than it should), it mostly just feels like a political soap opera full of coincidences and lucky breaks, but really, the miracles are happening all the time, right there in the middle of the soap opera drama, we just don’t realize.

We are hoping that this is one of them. Maybe this is a tiny hidden miracle happening for us.

Maybe it’s meant to be.

At the very least, Josh has his outfit all picked out.

Josh Emily's Bat Mitzvah

So at least that’s something.


  1. That’s so crappy. I’m positive that you’ll find another venue soon! :) Your son is too cute and you know what? I don’t like ice cream either. I much prefer cake.


    Comment by Sandy on February 11, 2013
  2. That is so stressful! I’ve done a lot of events in the city so feel free to email me with some places you’ve already checked and maybe I can recommend a couple. Good for you for having a positive attitude about it; that’s half the battle. Good luck!


    Comment by Joscelyn on February 11, 2013
  3. I am pretty sure that Josh is the hippest boy alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Comment by charna on February 11, 2013
  4. Aw drat. Unforeseen circumstances like these really stink. Sorry. However…could Josh be any more rad? Love it.


    Comment by Lisa T on February 11, 2013
  5. Fingers crossed for a new venue ASAP! It will all come together, I know it will!

    And now I need to find an outfit to somehow top Josh’s! :)


    Comment by Kristabella on February 11, 2013
  6. I hope for you daughters sake you all get your miracle.


    Comment by Corey Feldman on February 11, 2013
  7. Somehow I think you guys are going to find an awesome place, and everyone will be happy with it. ‘Cause your family is pretty awesome.
    Crossing fingers for you all!


    Comment by monstergirlee on February 11, 2013
  8. Ahhhh, I have been thinking about you. This would make me lose my freaking mind. I am wishing for you so much that you find somewhere even better. xoxo


    Comment by Sarah on February 11, 2013
  9. That’s ridiculously stressful. I’d be eating anything I can get my hands on and then stealing your food too (but I don’t have a problem or anything.)

    But Josh’s outfit is a-freaking-mazing. Those suspenders? Wowza. I need some. And then I’m going to go join a punk bank or somesuch to show them off. But I’m thirty-six which will likely make anything I wear really uncool, so please tell him to enjoy looking awesome while he can.


    Comment by The Maven on February 11, 2013
  10. I cannot even imagine. Something will come through, it will be beautiful and then you’ll have an amazing story to tell at Emily’s wedding. Can’t wait to see the pictures.


    Comment by karengreeners on February 12, 2013
  11. [...] No. We do not have a venue yet for our event in 26 days. [...]

    Pingback by I'm Basically an Overdue Pregnant Lady Right Now - Cheaper Than Therapy | Cheaper Than Therapy on February 13, 2013
  12. That is just ridiculously stupid. Stupid venue stupid doing that.

    I don’t think the story of Esther is just luck or chance. I don’t think it would be in the Bible if it was. I just imagine that maybe the writer assumed that it was implied? Or maybe he wasn’t able to mention the fact that it was God who orchestrated it all because the writer was writing in scary times? Who knows. But I do know that there are too many miracles in that book for it to have “just happened”. ;)

    (Totally didn’t mean that to sound argumentative. The drawback of typed words sometimes, I guess.) :)


    Comment by Jen Wilson on February 14, 2013
  13. [...] Friday morning, fresh from signing the papers on our NEW BAT MITZVAH VENUE, we hopped in the car to drive Emily to Ann Arbor, Michigan for a two-day jaunt. One of her camp [...]

    Pingback by The Ann Arbor Trip and The Candy Crush Time Travel - Cheaper Than Therapy | Cheaper Than Therapy on February 18, 2013
  14. [...] Actually, I think I opted out last year too. But this year I have an actual, legitimate excuse in the form of said oldest child’s upcoming Bat Mitzvah party in ohmygod SIXTEEN DAYS. [...]

    Pingback by The Whole Grain Pumpkin Piece of Blasphemy and Sacrilege - Cheaper Than Therapy | Cheaper Than Therapy on February 22, 2013

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