February 13 13

No. We do not have a venue yet for our event in 26 days.

Yes. We are confident that we will have one.

Yes. I 100% know that you all (well, at least 98% of you) mean so, so well when you message me and ask, “FOUND A NEW VENUE YET?” but each time it makes me feel less like you are worried/nervous/concerned for me and more like you know that the Martells as the topic du jour and want some sort of gossip.

(Remember when you were pregnant and overdue and uncomfortable and people messaged you all ‘so…did you have the baby yet?’ and you just want to cry because you know that every time you say that no, in fact, you have not had the baby yet, it’s just another reminder that you have no had the baby yet and really, do people think you won’t tell them and shower them with a million photos of a fresh baby burrito?)


Yes. I promise to tell you when we do, in fact, have one.

Yes. I will take your advice on centerpieces because it looks like our small and intimate dessert affair is now going to be more of a sit-down sushi and appetizer dinner-ish affair and now it looks like I have twenty six days to figure out how to make tables look lovely and surprise! I do not have a DIY bone in my entire body, no matter what my Pinterest page looks like to you. For real. I mean, for example, want to know what my children are taking to school for Valentine’s Day tomorrow? It’s a trick question, really, because hell if I know what they are taking. You will have to forgive me, though, because celebrating Valentine’s Day—which apparently is now called Friendship Day?—at school is a new phenomenon for my previously Jewish Day School-ed children.

Yes. I am drowning myself in season one of Sons of Anarchy (I know. I’m late to this party. So late.) because ohmygod I cannot stop watching and somehow I’m finding myself up at 2:30 in the morning, desperately needing to find out what is happening next with the lovely Jax and Rachel Menken, and, uh, desperately wanting to give Jax a bath which is about 800 times less sexual than it sounds, it’s mostly that it makes me slightly uncomfortable and I guess as a parent, this is a cross I have to bear—wanting people to be clean. My Jared Leto-loving teenaged self would be mortified right now.

Yes. I do make emotional purchases and somehow ended up with a new chandelier to go with my new kitchen table and my new kitchen chairs. (Happy next three birthdays to me.)

Kitchen table and chairs

But I guess the good news is that if we don’t find a venue, I can just put all 150 people around my new kitchen table.

And maybe we can watch Sons of Anarchy.


  1. I was LITERALLY just thinking of you when this came up on my reader. I can’t even image the stress you are under. Best of luck and breath and drink lots of wine and I’m sure it will be ok. I wish you were here so I could help.

    Also, store bought valentine’s are totally ok. We do them every year.


    Comment by jodifur on February 13, 2013
  2. See THIS is why you need to move back to Atlanta! I can donate my DIY skills and make centerpieces for the party, just like I’m doing for the wedding (along with every other DIY project scattered across my house). I’m getting so into the DIY-ness of this wedding, I’m almost scared about what I’m going to fill my time with when it’s over. ;)


    Comment by Darcey on February 13, 2013
  3. Ha! I would have never thought about Valentines for your public school kids now.

    I won’t IM you to ask anything about the party. Unless I find a perfect dress. Is it still black and white themed?


    ali replied on

    Gah. Don’t misunderstand me. It’s not IMs ABOUT the party that are annoying. It’s when people just message me this: do you have a venue yet?

    It’s just not sitting right, yanno?


    Kristabella replied on

    I know. I was just teasing. I’ll IM you whatever the heck I want, Martell! :)


    Corey Feldman replied on

    People are generally nosy. But I totally get it. That was drive me in sane.


    ali replied on

    I honestly think people really do mean well, and want me to know they are thinking of me…but it just upsets me more. I’m stressed enough as it is, yanno?

    Comment by Kristabella on February 13, 2013
  4. Ali, been there for our first Bar Mitzvah. The venue double-booked us in error. At the end of the day things really did work out for the best but it sure was seemed like we’d never make lemonade at the time. If you need to commiserate, you know where to find me. ;)


    Comment by Eden Spodek on February 13, 2013
  5. Oh no! I am one of those well-intentioned texting people. I think your pregnancy comparison is perfect. Sorry to add the pressure (which was not our goal). Just know we love you and look forward to what will be a beautiful event. And let me know if there is anything I can do.


    Comment by Dana on February 13, 2013
  6. You could always just do it on a random street, just REALLY quickly. And yell out ‘CAR” any time one comes along so you can move the nets and puck…

    I’m thinking of the wrong thing arent I?


    Comment by kole on February 14, 2013
  7. So do you have a venue NOW? *dodges bullet*

    I avoided the general public for the last couple weeks of my pregnancy with Preston. And I didn’t publish his due date online at all, because people online can be ASSHOLES. (Well, you know that.)

    It will all fall into place. I know it will. :)


    Comment by Jen Wilson on February 14, 2013

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