January 9 13

This is my daughter Emily.

Emily Disney Nerd

She is almost twelve years old which kind of makes me want to cry every time I think about it because in my head she’s still my wee baby, but in reality I know that she may be wee, but she’s no baby. She’s an individual to say the least, she always has been. And she wears leggings as pants, which IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

But this almost twelve year old is about to become a lady, at least according to, well, Judaism.

Bat Mitzvah. Two months from tomorrow.

Hold me.

My sister is the most loveliest of sisters and an equally lovely aunt and offered to purchase Emily’s Bat Mitzvah dress. But, she didn’t just want to throw us a check, she wanted to take Emily to department stores and bridal stores and all over the city of Atlanta and she wanted to be there when Emily SAID YES TO THE DRESS. Of course she did—because she’s not the mother of a tweenager, and saw this as a fun and jovial bonding experience.


To which I say: PSHAW.

We went to 850 stores at least and tried on many, many, many dresses. So many cute black and white dresses. So many.





Everything got rejected.


The Perfect Bat Mitzvah Dress Bridals By Lori

We hit one—FINALLY—that this child didn’t hate, reject, throw against a wall, turn her nose up at, or cry about.


ONLY. Bridals By Lori in Atlanta is a wonderful place in which to say yes to the dress, except this particular dress would not be available until April of 2013. If you are playing at home, that’s more than a month AFTER her party.

Screen Shot 2013-01-09 at 9.12.37 AM

(Emily it not impressed. Clearly.)

My sister left disheartened and Miss Emily was WELL on her way to showing up at her Bat Mitzvah in a t-shirt and leggings as pants.

We searched online. We searched instore.

We whined, we cried, we yelled. Both of us.

But then we remembered another dress that she kind of, maybe, sort of did not hate. “The straps are too thin, the dress is the wrong length, the flower is too small, but it doesn’t make me want to cry.” This dress, again, available in late 2013.

The Perfect Bat Mitzvah Dress Bridals By Lori

So I did what any mother would have done: I went to J.Crew for some retail therapy.



And just like that we have a dress.

Sure, it needs to be shortened. And it needs a new sash. And it needs to be taken in at the chest. And it needs a giant white flower. It’s similar to the Bridals By Lori one, except it’s nicer, more mature. And I had it overnighted and we had it in our hands in less than 24 hours. Take that, bridal stores.

JCrew Bat Mitzvah Dress

Oh J.Crew. You and your online Crewcuts special occasion collection have saved my soul and my sanity.

I am secretly hoping that when she gets married she elopes.


  1. I still remember to this day my mother and sister having screaming arguments over her bat mitzvah dress. Her wedding dress, on the other hand, was easy, and mine was hard. So you never know.


    ali replied on

    Also, hopefully, we’ll have more than two months to find a wedding dress!

    The problem really is that she had absolutely no idea what she wanted…she just knew what she didn’t want. Tough!

    Comment by jodifur on January 9, 2013
  2. Oh come on – you don’t expect me to believe you want your wee girl to elope?? But yes, based on the morning dramas with my almost 11-year-old because she has “absolutely NOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHING to wear” while her beloved Abercrombie skinny jeans are (gasp) being washed) I would say I get it. I really, really get it.

    ali replied on


    THat’s the humor portion of the post. Heh.

    Comment by Louise on January 9, 2013
  3. Also power to the leggings as pants—they feel so cozy with leg warmers (says a current offender).

    ali replied on


    Comment by Louise on January 9, 2013
  4. I can’t believe you’re having a Bat Mitzvah!!!! OMG. She’s so big now! And congrats on the dress – smart mama! xo

    Comment by Haley-O on January 9, 2013
  5. J.Crew rarely lets a girl down!

    ali replied on

    You speak the truth!

    Comment by Rhi on January 9, 2013
  6. Based on our fights about clothing this morning, I too am wondering if it wouldn’t be better for my oldest to elope as well.

    Comment by gorillabuns on January 9, 2013
  7. Does the dress *have* to be black and white? Or is that just what she wants? She looks fabulous in the first two dresses, and WHAT THE HECK is up with them not being available till later? I’ve never heard of that before. But then, I’ve only bought one fancy dress in my whole life and it was for my wedding and it was the only one left of some old stock. So.

    Looking forward to seeing her in the finished product of the new dress!

    ali replied on

    Her party is a black and white masquerade ball…so yes. Has to be black or black/white.

    I dont’ know what could possibly take that long with a dress—especially since we were willing to buy the sample right then and there. Booo bridal stores!

    Jen Wilson replied on

    Ah, gotcha. I just didn’t know if it was a bat mitzvah rule or her preference. Everything I know about Judaism is from you, a couple other bloggers, and Friends, so, colour me ignorant. :) Sounds like a lovely theme, though!

    And YES, boo bridal stores. So lame.

    Comment by Jen Wilson on January 9, 2013
  8. Glad you found one.

    You could have also come down the 401 to Chabanel St. you know! You would have been sure to find one :)

    ali replied on

    do not give her any ideas! We have found one!

    Comment by Sarah on January 9, 2013
  9. I’m glad you found her a dress. Even if you have to pay twice over what you paid for it, to have it the way she wants it. I’d do it. ha.

    Leggings as pants…I do not like it, yet both of my girls do. In their defense? They are both so freaking skinny that even skinny jeans fall off their butts most of the time. Leggings has been our godsend in the past two years. Shrug. I still dislike them on adults.

    ali replied on

    Skinny or not…I really don’t like it. Leggings are not pants…they are basically tights. I wouldn’t let my kids go out with tights and a shirt, so I don’t want to let them out in leggings and a shirt, unless they wear a longer top.

    Emily fights me daily on this.

    Issa replied on

    Oh wait…I DO make them wear a longer top. Or a dress. So many of their tops are longer now, because that is the thing. The leggings and then long top.

    ali replied on

    Then they aren’t leggings as pants.
    Then they are leggings as leggings.

    You win! :)

    Issa replied on

    Maybe. But? I still don’t like them. Ha. I have flashbacks to wearing bright pink ones as pants in the 80′s and I think I want to save my kids the photos and embarrassment later.

    Comment by Issa on January 9, 2013
  10. TWO MONTHS??!!??

    OK, I REALLY have to renew my passport. Shit! I’m doing it tomorrow.

    Also, I can’t wait to see it!!!!

    ali replied on

    You are running out of time!!!!

    Kristabella replied on

    It takes 6 weeks, but I’m going to expedite it to be sure!

    Comment by Kristabella on January 9, 2013
  11. I really wanted to have a girl but I was not so blessed. This however is something I won’t miss.

    Comment by Corey Feldman on January 9, 2013
  12. I can’t wait until the summer where she comes to live with Auntie Heather. Seriously.

    Comment by Heather on January 9, 2013
  13. [...] Emily’s Bat Mitzvah is in 27 days. A month yesterday. [...]

    Pingback by Making Lemonade - Cheaper Than Therapy | Cheaper Than Therapy on February 11, 2013

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