January 5 09

1. in 2009, i WILL drink more water throughout the day and less water right before bed. because every single night, without fail, i say to myself, “self! you haven’t had enough water today! you better start chugging” and let me just tell you…1.5 liters of water before bed? not the best idea, bladder-wise.

2. in 2009, i WILL call my mothers more often. this one will be easy because my stepmom had a really, really, really hard time giving up Indiana (she picked him up from the breeder and kept him for a month for us until we came to get him) and she wants daily updates. seriously, she CRIED when she gave him to the kids. and they were NOT tears of joy. heh.

doris

3. in 2009, i WILL continue my lemming-ish ways (remember when twitter was all abuzz with Twilight and i gave in?) and start the 30-day Shred. i have the DVD, i have the hand-weights, i have the yoga mat. bring it, Jillian Michaels!

4. in 2009, i WILL fill up the gas tank before i’m completely empty and running on fumes…not like last year when i said that i would, but totally didn’t.

5. in 2009, i WILL answer my phone. both my cell phone AND my home phone. i never answer my cell because i can never dig down to the bottom of my purseofcrap quickly enough and i never answer my home phone because i HATE talking on the phone. but this year, friends, you heard it here first. it’s ON! also, i will actually call my friends.

6. in 2009, i WILL teach Isabella to wipe her own ass. 2009 will be the year of only having to wipe one behind…my own!!

7. in 2009, i WILL actually print some digital photos. I’m fairly certain that i haven’t printed a single shot since 2005 (if you are the counting type…that would be FOUR YEARS) When Emily had to bring in a photo of her family to school, i had to send her in with our digital camera. ha. i wish i was joking. speaking of digital cameras, in 2009, i WILL actually buy myself my own big-girl, grown up camera because the pictures? amazing.

picture

8. in 2009, i WILL spend less time on youtube watching random videos, and more time doing more productive things, like actually finishing the YA novel i’ve been working on for a decade. I’m pretty sure this one will never happen, because i cannot pry myself away from youtube. i mean, seriously. i can’t. i mean, it doesn’t get much better then scary Mary Poppins, or Elijah Wood doing the Numa Numa dancy dance, or Tom Cruise getting low low low in Tropic Thunder. (seriously, click this last one. it may have been the best thing i’ve seen all year. also, i apologize for your lack of ability to anything else but dance like Tom Cruise and wonder why the hell his hands are so large…)

9. in 2009, i WILL stop laughing when my son says things like “why yes, i would love some ASS cream” in front of 100 senior citizens at my grandmother’s nursing home. because even though it’s hilariously funny, he’s 6 and probably should not be quoting Austin Powers. (also, in 2009, will unteach the children how to use the television)

austin-powers-thumb

10. in 2009, i WILL stop driving around parking lots to find the best spots. could otherwise be said i will stop being so damned lazy.

11. in 2009, i WILL stop shopping at stores like Abercrombie & Fitch. I AM TOO OLD (and have way to much in the way of the belly) to wear jeans with rises that low. and i will stop buying things simply because they are on sale. i will opt for fewer pieces, better quality. say it with me. come on. (also, i will NOT be jealous of my sister’s new Louboutin ankle boots…because, well, *swoon*)

12. in 2009, i WILL declare it the year of the lists. because everyone likes lists.

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  1. Which grown up camera are you buying? Because I want one too.

    slynnros last blog post..My Trip to Mexico, Now With Bonus Video Footage!

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    Comment by slynnro on January 5, 2009
  2. Seriously- tom cruise in tropic thunder- hysterical!!!!

    Good luck with wiping your ass!
    :)

    Mayas last blog post..2008

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    Comment by Maya on January 5, 2009
  3. #6 Seems like the most glorious of all the achievements you could accomplish. My 3 year old has been potty trained for almost 6 months and I still hear the dreaded “Mom come wipe my butt” screamed from the bathroom. I swear all I’ve done for the past 11 years is wipe snotty noses and poopy butts.

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    Comment by Text Imps on January 5, 2009
  4. Seriously, the printing photos thing I need to get on as well.. it is terrible. I told my husband that when the kids get older all I am going to pass down are piles of CD’s with their pictures on them..

    Kims last blog post..Weekly Winners

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    Comment by Kim on January 5, 2009
  5. Good luck with printingt he pictures. I have a huge rubbermaid box filled with 25+years of pictures that I was going to put in albums. Ah, well… it will give my kids something to do after my funeral.

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    Comment by Joanie on January 5, 2009
  6. I’ve NER done the gas thing… *looks around innocently*… really….

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    Comment by Maryann on January 5, 2009
  7. Mmmmm…lists. I love lists.

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    Comment by Angella on January 5, 2009
  8. wait a minute .. was Indiana your step-moms dog??

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    Comment by Sarah on January 5, 2009
  9. I love your list. I think what I love most about it is how open-ended it is, just five days into the new year!

    I plan to teach my kids to stay off the YouTube in 2009. Also, I’m going to start lifting weights. I’m thinking if I start both of these around December 3rd, it still counts!

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    Comment by foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) on January 5, 2009
  10. #6: Goals, people, goals!
    Wait, I’m still learning, how can I teach my daughter?…:)

    Irish Gumbos last blog post..Last Page of The Book

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    Comment by Irish Gumbo on January 5, 2009
  11. Everyone does like lists and this is a good one. Why were Tom’s hands so freakin’ big? Couldn’t they applied some arm hair rather than giving him prosthetics? Did help with the creepiness though.

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    Comment by Captain Dumbass on January 5, 2009
  12. Let me help you with the gas tank issue: $1200 to replace my fuel pump when it was shot, due to the fact that I ALWAYS let my gas burn to the last little drop.

    Happy New Year!

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    Comment by Heather on January 5, 2009
  13. I am HORRIBLE about the phone, too! I mean, I don’t see why everyone can’t always just text, you know?

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on January 5, 2009
  14. tom in tropic thunder? My fave movie moment of the year. That was a hysterical, but ~I feel guilty for watching~ movie.

    I should make a resolution to answer the phone too. Wouldn’t people be shocked!?

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    Comment by Kristen on January 5, 2009
  15. Started 30 Day Shred yesterday and holy shinnizle… those peeps weren’t kidding about it kicking your butt.

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    Comment by jcristg on January 5, 2009
  16. woo, sounds awesome. also, i always approve of lists. :)

    happy 2009, ali!

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    Comment by Lara on January 5, 2009
  17. NOOOOOO. As a kinda lemming myself who is always late on trends – I’m just now wholly obsessed with the “Twilight” series, for example – this means I’ll be doing this sinister workout DVD six months from now. Couldn’t dark chocolate infused wine become trendy instead?

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    Comment by Legallyblondemel on January 5, 2009
  18. What is this 30 day Shred of which you speak?

    Will it make me hot?

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    Comment by Miss Britt on January 5, 2009
  19. What the heck is shred? Must find out.

    Love your list. I too am not wiping any more butts. I am so over it.

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    Comment by OHmommy on January 5, 2009
  20. tropic thunder is so funny! i love toms big fat padded arse hahaha!answer the phone?umm no…i’m terrible about answering that thing.

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on January 5, 2009
  21. I’m with you on a lot of these! Happy New Year. Also, I LOVE lists.

    Kaleighas last blog post..The "calling…"

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    Comment by Kaleigha on January 5, 2009
  22. i need to be printing out my pictures too.. I have SOO many pictures that I would be devestated to lose.

    Lynettes last blog post..Death and Popcorn

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    Comment by Lynette on January 5, 2009
  23. I resolve not to shop at Abercrombie because their music is too damn loud!

    So old.

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    Comment by heather... on January 5, 2009
  24. I think your list is really snazzy. :) I too have a problem with not printing out pictures, drinking the 1.5l of catch-up water just before bed, and not talking on the phone. I love Call Display and Voice Mail. I will talk to people on MY TERMS, damn it!

    Oh yeah, and I need to stop laughing at my 6yo son’s butt jokes too.

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    Comment by Nenette on January 5, 2009
  25. AMEN to #1, 3, 7, and 11!

    Amen!

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    Comment by Sarah on January 5, 2009
  26. Well I’m too lazy to do any of the above but the one I’d be least likely to do is #5. I hate the mo’fo phone in all incarnations.

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    Comment by katie ~ motherbumper on January 5, 2009
  27. #6 just about killed me! Hilarious. Good luck!

    Sensibly Sassys last blog post..Incogcheeto

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    Comment by Sensibly Sassy on January 5, 2009
  28. good for you on these resolutions. sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.

    i so love # 9! lol

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    Comment by raino on January 5, 2009
  29. If you come to visit me for more sister time, I will gladly let you wear my boots!

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    Comment by Charna on January 5, 2009
  30. AMEN ton #6! And lists!

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    Comment by Haley-O on January 5, 2009
  31. It’s so nice to hear I’m not the only one who spends pointless time on youtube! Happy New Year!

    Kates last blog post..Mosaic Monday

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    Comment by Kate on January 5, 2009
  32. Um, if my daughter would start wiping her ass and actually getting the mess off, I would be thrilled. The kid is horrible at ass wiping. Oh! Also! I need a grown up camera, and I am a secret lemming.

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    Comment by Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy on January 5, 2009
  33. When you figure out how to unteach tv operation, please share.

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    Comment by SciFi Dad on January 5, 2009
  34. I’m with you on so many of those things. I need to talk to people on the phone more often… I so have a phone phobia. I need to lose weight, if not via the 30 day shed, then somehow! I guess it’s too early to start potty training the 4 month old, though…

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    Comment by Courtney on January 5, 2009
  35. omg, I *totally* do the water before bed thing.

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    Comment by Aimee Greeblemonkey on January 5, 2009
  36. Your 12 things are so much more awesome than mine. Bah!

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    Comment by Maria on January 5, 2009
  37. If we are ever in the car together, I will NEVER be annoyed if you drive around looking for a better spot. Because I TOTALLY do that.

    It’s hereditary. My father does it too.

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    Comment by Rhi on January 5, 2009
  38. I can SO sympathise with you on the not wanting to wipe anyone’s butt thing…my son is 6…yes SIX and I’m so sick of it! (how old is Isabella again?)He has some fine motor issues but still he’s SIX!

    Kathys last blog post..When is it time to just let it go?

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    Comment by Kathy on January 5, 2009
  39. I think I’M allowed to be jealous of your sister’s new Louboutin’s ankle boots.;)

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    Comment by metalia on January 5, 2009
  40. Wow, 12 resolutions? I only have… 5?

    But you did inspire me reading your list because one of the things I have to do is exercise for 30 minutes 3x per week, I have like 6 exercise tapes from pilates to some cardio boost thing. Thats what I can do! Either that or drag the manual treadmill up from the basement and try to install it somewhere.
    Ali, you did it again.
    Oh, and call my moms more too – I like that one. But more like Call people I love more.

    btw – I bought a pair of boots a couple weeks ago (and thought of you), Jessica Benetts – tooo expensive but so worth it. They fit nice and snug in the ankle and the calf instead of hanging off and flapping practically. You would love them. I did have to spend $12 on inserts to try to make them comfortable tho. They Kill my Feet.

    monstergirlees last blog post..Almost Forgot…

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    Comment by monstergirlee on January 6, 2009
  41. I concur with numero 6. Everyone in the household should be wiping their own butts. I tell my seven month old all the time, but to no avail..

    Surfer Jays last blog post..…Then You Can Detach Your Nuts

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    Comment by Surfer Jay on January 6, 2009
  42. Good list! I hate the phone, too, but am HOOKED on those Tom Cruise videos. Maybe those are his way for making up for the couch jumping thing.

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    Comment by Colleen - Mommy Alwa on January 6, 2009
  43. Indiana is adorable. And he looks big for a little mop dog. What kind is he?

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    Comment by mail4ajc on January 6, 2009
  44. oh heavens. bring on the lists. working on several right now and my bberry is full of them. aie.

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    Comment by Holly on January 6, 2009
  45. In 2009 I WILL come to Toronto to meet the fake Martell kids!

    Kristabellas last blog post..When Writer’s Block Attacks

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    Comment by Kristabella on January 6, 2009
  46. I hate the phone too, but I know I’ll never completely give up screening. It’s in my blood.

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    Comment by She Likes Purple on January 6, 2009
  47. mmmmmm Matthew…..wait was I supposed to see some one else in that “low” scene? Serously though, what’s up with Tom’s extra large hands and sweaty pits in that scene? And your right one of the funniest things I’ve seen all year.

    Kalles last blog post..Christmas Day

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    Comment by Kalle on January 6, 2009
  48. If you have spent all that time on YouTube, I have to assume that you have seen Hamster on the Piano. If not, I can sense you being pulled there now.

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    Comment by Di on January 6, 2009
  49. ooo I like!! so many things to achieve there!
    I don’t think I can make a list, am a tad worried I wont stick to it. lol

    Love lists though :)

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    Comment by Bronnie on January 7, 2009
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