Cheaper Than Therapy

  • About
  • Brands
  • Media Kit
  • Photography

the year of the list. it has been declared.

The Family

5 Jan

1. in 2009, i WILL drink more water throughout the day and less water right before bed. because every single night, without fail, i say to myself, “self! you haven’t had enough water today! you better start chugging” and let me just tell you…1.5 liters of water before bed? not the best idea, bladder-wise.

2. in 2009, i WILL call my mothers more often. this one will be easy because my stepmom had a really, really, really hard time giving up Indiana (she picked him up from the breeder and kept him for a month for us until we came to get him) and she wants daily updates. seriously, she CRIED when she gave him to the kids. and they were NOT tears of joy. heh.

doris

3. in 2009, i WILL continue my lemming-ish ways (remember when twitter was all abuzz with Twilight and i gave in?) and start the 30-day Shred. i have the DVD, i have the hand-weights, i have the yoga mat. bring it, Jillian Michaels!

4. in 2009, i WILL fill up the gas tank before i’m completely empty and running on fumes…not like last year when i said that i would, but totally didn’t.

5. in 2009, i WILL answer my phone. both my cell phone AND my home phone. i never answer my cell because i can never dig down to the bottom of my purseofcrap quickly enough and i never answer my home phone because i HATE talking on the phone. but this year, friends, you heard it here first. it’s ON! also, i will actually call my friends.

6. in 2009, i WILL teach Isabella to wipe her own ass. 2009 will be the year of only having to wipe one behind…my own!!

7. in 2009, i WILL actually print some digital photos. I’m fairly certain that i haven’t printed a single shot since 2005 (if you are the counting type…that would be FOUR YEARS) When Emily had to bring in a photo of her family to school, i had to send her in with our digital camera. ha. i wish i was joking. speaking of digital cameras, in 2009, i WILL actually buy myself my own big-girl, grown up camera because the pictures? amazing.

picture

8. in 2009, i WILL spend less time on youtube watching random videos, and more time doing more productive things, like actually finishing the YA novel i’ve been working on for a decade. I’m pretty sure this one will never happen, because i cannot pry myself away from youtube. i mean, seriously. i can’t. i mean, it doesn’t get much better then scary Mary Poppins, or Elijah Wood doing the Numa Numa dancy dance, or Tom Cruise getting low low low in Tropic Thunder. (seriously, click this last one. it may have been the best thing i’ve seen all year. also, i apologize for your lack of ability to anything else but dance like Tom Cruise and wonder why the hell his hands are so large…)

9. in 2009, i WILL stop laughing when my son says things like “why yes, i would love some ASS cream” in front of 100 senior citizens at my grandmother’s nursing home. because even though it’s hilariously funny, he’s 6 and probably should not be quoting Austin Powers. (also, in 2009, will unteach the children how to use the television)

austin-powers-thumb

10. in 2009, i WILL stop driving around parking lots to find the best spots. could otherwise be said i will stop being so damned lazy.

11. in 2009, i WILL stop shopping at stores like Abercrombie & Fitch. I AM TOO OLD (and have way to much in the way of the belly) to wear jeans with rises that low. and i will stop buying things simply because they are on sale. i will opt for fewer pieces, better quality. say it with me. come on. (also, i will NOT be jealous of my sister’s new Louboutin ankle boots…because, well, *swoon*)

12. in 2009, i WILL declare it the year of the lists. because everyone likes lists.

49 Comments

« some holiday tips from Ali
end stages »

Comments

  1. slynnro says

    January 5, 2009 at 11:18 am

    Which grown up camera are you buying? Because I want one too.

    slynnros last blog post..My Trip to Mexico, Now With Bonus Video Footage!

    Reply
  2. Maya says

    January 5, 2009 at 11:19 am

    Seriously- tom cruise in tropic thunder- hysterical!!!!

    Good luck with wiping your ass!
    🙂

    Mayas last blog post..2008

    Reply
  3. Text Imps says

    January 5, 2009 at 11:20 am

    #6 Seems like the most glorious of all the achievements you could accomplish. My 3 year old has been potty trained for almost 6 months and I still hear the dreaded “Mom come wipe my butt” screamed from the bathroom. I swear all I’ve done for the past 11 years is wipe snotty noses and poopy butts.

    Reply
  4. Kim says

    January 5, 2009 at 11:22 am

    Seriously, the printing photos thing I need to get on as well.. it is terrible. I told my husband that when the kids get older all I am going to pass down are piles of CD’s with their pictures on them..

    Kims last blog post..Weekly Winners

    Reply
  5. Joanie says

    January 5, 2009 at 11:28 am

    Good luck with printingt he pictures. I have a huge rubbermaid box filled with 25+years of pictures that I was going to put in albums. Ah, well… it will give my kids something to do after my funeral.

    Reply
  6. Maryann says

    January 5, 2009 at 11:45 am

    I’ve NER done the gas thing… *looks around innocently*… really….

    Reply
  7. Angella says

    January 5, 2009 at 11:47 am

    Mmmmm…lists. I love lists.

    Reply
  8. Sarah says

    January 5, 2009 at 11:51 am

    wait a minute .. was Indiana your step-moms dog??

    Reply
  9. foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) says

    January 5, 2009 at 11:56 am

    I love your list. I think what I love most about it is how open-ended it is, just five days into the new year!

    I plan to teach my kids to stay off the YouTube in 2009. Also, I’m going to start lifting weights. I’m thinking if I start both of these around December 3rd, it still counts!

    Reply
  10. Irish Gumbo says

    January 5, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    #6: Goals, people, goals!
    Wait, I’m still learning, how can I teach my daughter?…:)

    Irish Gumbos last blog post..Last Page of The Book

    Reply
  11. Captain Dumbass says

    January 5, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    Everyone does like lists and this is a good one. Why were Tom’s hands so freakin’ big? Couldn’t they applied some arm hair rather than giving him prosthetics? Did help with the creepiness though.

    Reply
  12. Heather says

    January 5, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    Let me help you with the gas tank issue: $1200 to replace my fuel pump when it was shot, due to the fact that I ALWAYS let my gas burn to the last little drop.

    Happy New Year!

    Reply
  13. Camels & Chocolate says

    January 5, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    I am HORRIBLE about the phone, too! I mean, I don’t see why everyone can’t always just text, you know?

    Reply
  14. Kristen says

    January 5, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    tom in tropic thunder? My fave movie moment of the year. That was a hysterical, but ~I feel guilty for watching~ movie.

    I should make a resolution to answer the phone too. Wouldn’t people be shocked!?

    Reply
  15. jcristg says

    January 5, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Started 30 Day Shred yesterday and holy shinnizle… those peeps weren’t kidding about it kicking your butt.

    Reply
  16. Lara says

    January 5, 2009 at 1:09 pm

    woo, sounds awesome. also, i always approve of lists. 🙂

    happy 2009, ali!

    Reply
  17. Legallyblondemel says

    January 5, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    NOOOOOO. As a kinda lemming myself who is always late on trends – I’m just now wholly obsessed with the “Twilight” series, for example – this means I’ll be doing this sinister workout DVD six months from now. Couldn’t dark chocolate infused wine become trendy instead?

    Reply
  18. Miss Britt says

    January 5, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    What is this 30 day Shred of which you speak?

    Will it make me hot?

    Reply
  19. OHmommy says

    January 5, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    What the heck is shred? Must find out.

    Love your list. I too am not wiping any more butts. I am so over it.

    Reply
  20. LAVENDULA says

    January 5, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    tropic thunder is so funny! i love toms big fat padded arse hahaha!answer the phone?umm no…i’m terrible about answering that thing.

    Reply
  21. Kaleigha says

    January 5, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    I’m with you on a lot of these! Happy New Year. Also, I LOVE lists.

    Kaleighas last blog post..The "calling…"

    Reply
  22. Lynette says

    January 5, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    i need to be printing out my pictures too.. I have SOO many pictures that I would be devestated to lose.

    Lynettes last blog post..Death and Popcorn

    Reply
  23. heather... says

    January 5, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    I resolve not to shop at Abercrombie because their music is too damn loud!

    So old.

    Reply
  24. Nenette says

    January 5, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    I think your list is really snazzy. 🙂 I too have a problem with not printing out pictures, drinking the 1.5l of catch-up water just before bed, and not talking on the phone. I love Call Display and Voice Mail. I will talk to people on MY TERMS, damn it!

    Oh yeah, and I need to stop laughing at my 6yo son’s butt jokes too.

    Reply
  25. Sarah says

    January 5, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    AMEN to #1, 3, 7, and 11!

    Amen!

    Reply
  26. katie ~ motherbumper says

    January 5, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    Well I’m too lazy to do any of the above but the one I’d be least likely to do is #5. I hate the mo’fo phone in all incarnations.

    Reply
  27. Sensibly Sassy says

    January 5, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    #6 just about killed me! Hilarious. Good luck!

    Sensibly Sassys last blog post..Incogcheeto

    Reply
  28. raino says

    January 5, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    good for you on these resolutions. sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.

    i so love # 9! lol

    Reply
  29. Charna says

    January 5, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    If you come to visit me for more sister time, I will gladly let you wear my boots!

    Reply
  30. Haley-O says

    January 5, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    AMEN ton #6! And lists!

    Reply
  31. Kate says

    January 5, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    It’s so nice to hear I’m not the only one who spends pointless time on youtube! Happy New Year!

    Kates last blog post..Mosaic Monday

    Reply
  32. Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy says

    January 5, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    Um, if my daughter would start wiping her ass and actually getting the mess off, I would be thrilled. The kid is horrible at ass wiping. Oh! Also! I need a grown up camera, and I am a secret lemming.

    Reply
  33. SciFi Dad says

    January 5, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    When you figure out how to unteach tv operation, please share.

    Reply
  34. Courtney says

    January 5, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    I’m with you on so many of those things. I need to talk to people on the phone more often… I so have a phone phobia. I need to lose weight, if not via the 30 day shed, then somehow! I guess it’s too early to start potty training the 4 month old, though…

    Reply
  35. Aimee Greeblemonkey says

    January 5, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    omg, I *totally* do the water before bed thing.

    Reply
  36. Maria says

    January 5, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    Your 12 things are so much more awesome than mine. Bah!

    Reply
  37. Rhi says

    January 5, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    If we are ever in the car together, I will NEVER be annoyed if you drive around looking for a better spot. Because I TOTALLY do that.

    It’s hereditary. My father does it too.

    Reply
  38. Kathy says

    January 5, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    I can SO sympathise with you on the not wanting to wipe anyone’s butt thing…my son is 6…yes SIX and I’m so sick of it! (how old is Isabella again?)He has some fine motor issues but still he’s SIX!

    Kathys last blog post..When is it time to just let it go?

    Reply
  39. metalia says

    January 5, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    I think I’M allowed to be jealous of your sister’s new Louboutin’s ankle boots.;)

    Reply
  40. monstergirlee says

    January 6, 2009 at 12:47 am

    Wow, 12 resolutions? I only have… 5?

    But you did inspire me reading your list because one of the things I have to do is exercise for 30 minutes 3x per week, I have like 6 exercise tapes from pilates to some cardio boost thing. Thats what I can do! Either that or drag the manual treadmill up from the basement and try to install it somewhere.
    Ali, you did it again.
    Oh, and call my moms more too – I like that one. But more like Call people I love more.

    btw – I bought a pair of boots a couple weeks ago (and thought of you), Jessica Benetts – tooo expensive but so worth it. They fit nice and snug in the ankle and the calf instead of hanging off and flapping practically. You would love them. I did have to spend $12 on inserts to try to make them comfortable tho. They Kill my Feet.

    monstergirlees last blog post..Almost Forgot…

    Reply
  41. Surfer Jay says

    January 6, 2009 at 12:49 am

    I concur with numero 6. Everyone in the household should be wiping their own butts. I tell my seven month old all the time, but to no avail..

    Surfer Jays last blog post..…Then You Can Detach Your Nuts

    Reply
  42. Colleen - Mommy Alwa says

    January 6, 2009 at 1:00 am

    Good list! I hate the phone, too, but am HOOKED on those Tom Cruise videos. Maybe those are his way for making up for the couch jumping thing.

    Reply
  43. mail4ajc says

    January 6, 2009 at 1:46 am

    Indiana is adorable. And he looks big for a little mop dog. What kind is he?

    Reply
  44. Holly says

    January 6, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    oh heavens. bring on the lists. working on several right now and my bberry is full of them. aie.

    Reply
  45. Kristabella says

    January 6, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    In 2009 I WILL come to Toronto to meet the fake Martell kids!

    Kristabellas last blog post..When Writer’s Block Attacks

    Reply
  46. She Likes Purple says

    January 6, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    I hate the phone too, but I know I’ll never completely give up screening. It’s in my blood.

    Reply
  47. Kalle says

    January 6, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    mmmmmm Matthew…..wait was I supposed to see some one else in that “low” scene? Serously though, what’s up with Tom’s extra large hands and sweaty pits in that scene? And your right one of the funniest things I’ve seen all year.

    Kalles last blog post..Christmas Day

    Reply
  48. Di says

    January 6, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    If you have spent all that time on YouTube, I have to assume that you have seen Hamster on the Piano. If not, I can sense you being pulled there now.

    Reply
  49. Bronnie says

    January 7, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    ooo I like!! so many things to achieve there!
    I don’t think I can make a list, am a tad worried I wont stick to it. lol

    Love lists though 🙂

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About Ali

I am a writer, a mama, a wife, a lion tamer, a diet coke quitter, a juggler, a getter-of-drinks. Read More…

You can find me here:

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Check out past posts

Load More...Follow on Instagram

Copyright © 2021 · Refined Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in