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some holiday tips from Ali

The Family

31 Dec

1. when someone gives your three-year-old some paint, do not allow said three-year-old to disappear from sight…because you will be spending the better half of your afternoon on the floor scrubbing the red paint off the bedroom carpet.

2. when you visit the coca cola museum with your children…do NOT allow them to taste every.single.one of the 64 available flavors unless you really WANT to have total loons running around your local Target. (also? the joker-sized cup-mark on their faces? will take at least three days to disappear…so don’t go and schedule family pictures or anything)

IMG_2555 by you.

3. when you take two cars to go see a movie (Marley and Me. holyhell…the very WORST movie every made. seriously. it was boring as hell until the last 25 minutes and then it was sobby as hell. my sister and i cried and sniffled our way through the entire end. my stepmom actually had to remove herself from the theater. she couldn’t physically sit and watch. torture) make sure that both cars are going to the same theater. also? don’t laugh when your brother and sister and law (love you guys, mwah!) decide NOT to see Slumdog Millionaire with you and opt instead for Seven Pounds. don’t laugh or give them grief or any i-told-you-sos. it’s just not classy. but make sure to tell them how amazing Slumdog Millionaire was.

even though the main character looks EXACTLY like your little brother. even though your little brother is NOT Indian. and that makes you and your sister laugh like hyenas during the movie.

4. do not, under any circumstances, leave your father alone with any of the kids’ baby dolls when he’s had more than one frozen margarita.

IMG_2496 by you.

5. do NOT be afraid to eat birthday cake with chopsticks.

eating birthday cake with chopsticks by you.

happy new year everyone!

i have very fancy plans of staying and in watching my daughters and nieces put on a fashion show while eating italian food and then playing rock band and scattergories. because NEW YEARS EVE IS TOTALLY OVERRATED. what is not, however, is these glasses:

IMG_2336 by you.

30 Comments

« it’s only three days in and my j brand cigarette skinnies are already tight.
the year of the list. it has been declared. »

Comments

  1. Camels & Chocolate says

    December 31, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    I DID see Seven Pounds, only because Benjamin Button was sold out, I refuse to fund any movie involving Tom Cruise, Tennessee is not cosmopolitan enough to show Slumdog at ANY theater, and I’d already seen Yes Man. So really, that only left Bolt, Bedtime Stories or Will Smith. You know which one I chose. It wasn’t that bad, but WAS depressing as Hell. Seriously, I wanted to slit my wrists for the next day…until I got to Atlanta and saw you, that is! =)

    Reply
  2. Angella says

    December 31, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    Those glasses are TOTALLY you 😉

    Reply
  3. Kim says

    December 31, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    I am sooo out of the loop I never even heard of Slum whatever movie..

    Love the glasses.. Hope you have a great time tonight ..and those glasses are totally bad arse..

    Reply
  4. Aimee Greeblemonkey says

    December 31, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    Slumdog has been playing at our artsy theater forEVER. Must see it soon.

    And happy new year to you, friend. I am so glad we were able to meet in person this year.

    xoxox

    P.S. When do we start on our book?

    Reply
  5. Keri says

    December 31, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    You know, your children are so beautiful. AND 2010 glasses won’t work nearly as well.

    Your dad? Hysterical.

    Reply
  6. Maria says

    December 31, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    OMG HOW good was Slumdog? And how fucking gorgeous was Laitika when she grew up?? LOVE that movie.

    And your father. lol

    Reply
  7. Kaleigha says

    December 31, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    I think NYE is a little overrated too. My favorite way to bring in the new year is by eating ALOT. Italian food sounds excellent!:)

    Kaleighas last blog post..Looking fine in "O" nine…

    Reply
  8. Momo Fali says

    December 31, 2008 at 6:46 pm

    We’re playing Jenga and Guitar Hero in our pajamas tonight.

    Totally dig the Elton John look.

    Reply
  9. Captain Dumbass says

    December 31, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    Happy New Year, McCrazy.

    Reply
  10. IrishGumbo says

    December 31, 2008 at 8:14 pm

    Happy New Year to Casa Martell, from the Gumbo Clan!

    Those glasses would go better with a ‘Captain Fantastic’ getup, but still, you rock the look!

    IrishGumbos last blog post..SUNDAY CONTEST: CAPTION THAT STUPID PICTURE, SECOND EDITION

    Reply
  11. The Stiletto Mom says

    January 1, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    Those glasses are hawt!

    Happy New Year!

    Reply
  12. anne nahm says

    January 1, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Happy New Year!

    Reply
  13. monstergirlee says

    January 1, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    Happy New Year to you! love the glasses. And the black and white photo with the spot of orange – super cool.
    Oh, and orange kool-aid leaves a pretty bad cup mark too. ugh.

    monstergirlees last blog post..Ringing The Bell

    Reply
  14. mamatulip says

    January 1, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    We watched Seven Pounds last week – I liked it, and I liked Will Smith. I thought he gave a great performance. But I felt that some of it was way too over-the-top and far-fetched.

    We watched The Diving Bell and the Butterfly last night and I was RIVETED. What an amazing movie.

    Reply
  15. Haley-O says

    January 1, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    Awesome glasses! What is also awesome is eating cake with chopsticks! Seriously…yum!

    Reply
  16. Holly says

    January 1, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    happy new year ali 🙂
    party like it’s 1999…

    Reply
  17. Lee the MWOB Queen says

    January 2, 2009 at 3:06 am

    Sounds like a perfect New Year’s Eve and the pic of dad with baby doll has me chuckling…

    Love the glasses too – I wore the same ones in 2000 (except they said 2000) in Times Square when I thought the world might end…

    Reply
  18. slynnro says

    January 2, 2009 at 11:21 am

    I was a little pissed the restaurant we were in didn’t have the 2009 glasses. So I had 6 glasses of Prosecco and forgot about that.

    Reply
  19. Kristabella says

    January 2, 2009 at 11:30 am

    That photo of your dad is CREEPY!

    NYE is totally overrated and Amateur Hour. It’s all the people who never go out and don’t know how to properly act when you’re shitfaced in public. So I stay in and drink wine and eat too much.

    Happy New Year!

    Kristabellas last blog post..Where I Am Supposed To Reflect On 2008

    Reply
  20. threeundertwo says

    January 2, 2009 at 11:53 am

    Dang! Why didn’t I read this before the holiday? I messed up on a whole bunch of these rules!

    Reply
  21. mary says

    January 2, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    I’m so pissed I passed over Slumdog because I didn’t think the man would like it. So we saw Doubt instead and he bitched thru the entire thing. Oh well.

    That photo of your dad with the doll CRACKS ME UP!!!

    Reply
  22. ParentingPink says

    January 2, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    HaHa! I love the pic of your dad with the babydoll! Made really laugh!

    Btw, love the new design of your blog. I am using WordPress too and was wondering who your designer was? I may need a few tweeks and it’s tough to find a WordPress guru 😉

    Reply
  23. Burgh Baby says

    January 2, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    I am going to be laughing and trying to figure out exactly what your father was doing with that doll for a very, very long time.

    Happy New Year!

    Reply
  24. katie ~ motherbumper says

    January 2, 2009 at 10:33 pm

    Is it wrong that I want to go out drinking with your dad? I’d totally buy him some margaritas just to get him to “fix” an issue I’ve got with my daughter’s barbie.

    Reply
  25. Courtney says

    January 3, 2009 at 11:56 pm

    I played Scattergories on New Years, too. Fun.

    I’m going to go see Marley & Me tomorrow. I totally know what happens. I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself.

    Reply
  26. raino says

    January 4, 2009 at 2:26 am

    thanks for the tips! i was planning to go see marley and me so i am glad to hear that it’s not that great, except for the end..will wait for the rental.

    happy new year!

    Reply
  27. Nadine says

    January 4, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    Happy 2009!

    I’m impressed you get to see movies. I haven’t been to the movies in THREE years!! Insanity.

    Reply
  28. Mac & Cheese says

    January 4, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    This is my first time coming by, and I wish I had been one day earlier. Marley and Me killed my date night.

    Reply
  29. jennyonthespot says

    January 5, 2009 at 1:08 am

    Love the glasses. Glitter… *swoon* I would also like to add if someone gives your preschooler something like a stamp pad… that too can work out to be VERY bad.

    Reply
  30. Elizabeth says

    January 5, 2009 at 9:11 am

    You’re the second person to tell me how amazing Slumdog Millionaire is. I’ll have to ask my husband to take me on a date to see it!

    Happy new Year!

    Reply

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About Ali

I am a writer, a mama, a wife, a lion tamer, a diet coke quitter, a juggler, a getter-of-drinks. Read More…

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