October 10 06

Thursday – 6:30 pm: (we were aces. kids were pajama’d and happy and Isabella had her “dah-rah”)

Monday – 12 midnight: (sleep…bliss)

all in all? trip was great.

i didn’t fight with my mother. not even once, y’all. must be some sort of record.

(i did argue, though, when she said that my eyes were grey/hazel. what? i know the exact shade of each of my children’s eyes and can tell you that even though all three are brownies, all three have distinct eyes. and mine? are GREEN. they are about as green as they come. my mother is mental.)

okay…also….note to self…never watch movies like “wedding crashers” with my mother.

Isabella didn’t sleep. the entire trip. because of these massive two front teeth that have erupted in her mouth. she’s in so much pain, gnawing on anything in sight…including a couple of Emily’s crayons. poor kid. and poor us. we are tired.

i didn’t do much shopping. partly because the kids wouldn’t allow it, and partly because the bank account wouldn’t allow it. i did get myself 20 minutes in target (which is not even close to being enough – but it was better than nothing), 20 minutes in the gymboree outlet, 20 minutes in michaels (to use a gift card that was only usable in the states) and 10 minutes in bath and body works.

we borrowed a friend’s GPS, which was really, really cool. seriously, we wanted to find a target. so, we just plugged in, “target” and it finds the closest, like, 200 targets. you push one and it adds it to your trip. and Dennis, the Brit, tells you exactly how to get there. at least i think his name was Dennis. he was the voice of choice – over the Australian and the American. (but, disappointingly, he sounded nothing like Jude Law). want a starbucks? no problem. it finds it for you. want to know approximately when you’ll arrive at your destination? it was spot on – give or take 2-3 minutes every time. genious. i want one. (unfortunately, i don’t have the $700 to buy one…and it’s probably not worth it for the two times a year we’ll be taking road trips. but, seriously, seriously awesome).

i DO have a story to tell. i’m slightly embarrassed to be writing this down, for all of you to see…but if you can’t tell your internets…who can you tell? (for the record…as soon as it happened, both the husband and i said, at the same time, this is sooo being blogged). a little background, maestro. I drank a ginormous coffee. (mcdonalds – i’d never had it before. quite good. not enough sweetener. but that’s the husband’s fault.) and didn’t eat anything. and i started to feel sick. and i was driving. so i drank two water bottles. and then i felt better. but then i had to pee. really, really badly.

only problem was that at the time i had to pee really, really badly, we were in a 400 car-long line at the border. there was no shoulder to pull to the side to. no place to go. can you see where this story is headed…

yessiry. i peed in my empty mcdonalds coffee cup. it was THAT bad. it got to the point where it was either that or the floor of my van. this officially takes the top spot in my most embarrassing stories (totally beats out the “sweet the lick” story and the time i put my ass through Jack and Ilana’s dining room chair.) at least it was dark. and no one saw. and my kids seem to be oblivious.

at the end of the day, we would drive again. (but i will NEVER, under any circumstances, drink Mcdonald’s coffee again)

**come over and see me at my other site, Fabulous, where i post pictures of my kiddies at the fire station. they can kick Daniel Cook’s ass any day of the week and twice on sundays. 🙂


  1. Ewwww!

    Comment by metro mama on October 10, 2006
  2. Ohhhhh, wow… I admire you for being so brave as to share that! Come to think of it, I admire the skill and precision that must have been required to that. Jeesh – is that even possible?????

    Comment by Joanne on October 10, 2006
  3. i know. i know.
    but it was either me telling people first, or the husband blabbing to everyone he knows, which is much more embarrassing.

    he. i have great aim…all those months of peeing in that little cup while pregnant 🙂

    Comment by amartell on October 10, 2006
  4. LOL. You are silly. Glad you had fun – cannot believe you didn’t fight with mom!

    Comment by bella ~ Liz on October 10, 2006
  5. A coworker of mine did exactly the same thing on a road trip to Chicago!

    Comment by Jodi on October 10, 2006
  6. Wow. Wow. I mean, we’ve all considered it, but…Wow. I’m impressed. The logistics and everything…

    Comment by Margo on October 10, 2006
  7. That is pretty amazing Ali! I don’t know if I could do it. I think I would be too scared of peeing all over myself. You got skills girl!

    Comment by Mandi on October 10, 2006
  8. Wow. That’s some good aim! I can’t pee if anyone else is in the same room (or, I guess, car) no matter how bad I have to go. Shy bladder. I may have exploded if I were in your situation!

    Comment by Jessie on October 10, 2006
  9. That’s hilarious! Hey, when nature calls…you got to answer it! The kids are adorable in their carseats.

    I know what that’s like, driving long distance with kids. We used a Jalapeno Lay’s potato chip can for my 6 y/o son to relieve himself, b/c when the other two are out like a light…there’s is no way in heck that we would stop and wake everyone up. The potato chips weren’t that good to begin with any way.

    Comment by Waya on October 10, 2006
  10. haha..nice.. I had a similar story..waiting at buffalo border…filled the snapple bottle to the top…its alot easier for a guy, so i’m impressed

    Comment by Aaron on October 10, 2006
  11. I laughed so hard when I read the pee-ing in the McD’s cup part of that posts that I nearly peed myself.


    Comment by Jonathon on October 10, 2006
  12. LOLOLOLOLOL! I can’t believe you did that! you! That is too. much!!! But, great idea…mind you….I’ll have to have a cup handy next time we go to Montreal. Or, on second thought….

    LOVE those pics, too. They made me lol, too. Love Emily’s hair, Bella’s bare feet in the second shot! The monkey’s teething, too. Loses her appetite in the evening, and gets cranky, but not so bad.

    Comment by haley-o on October 10, 2006
  13. And, does they kick Emily Yeung’s ass, too? She’s better than Daniel. LOVE HER. So adorable…

    Comment by haley-o on October 10, 2006
  14. Glad it was a good trip. And kudos for peeing in a cup and sharing the experience. It takes a brave person to admit to that.

    Comment by Chris on October 10, 2006
  15. that’s a great “sissy” story. it’s a good thing you had the large cup!

    Comment by Jill on October 10, 2006
  16. That’s the beauty of having a web site – things that would be embarassing or otherwise unfortunate become assets! Great story!

    Comment by Vaguely Urban on October 10, 2006
  17. To the negative posters: get a life!!

    Ali, good on you, found myself in that situation time and time again – at least you were enterprising enough to think of a solution. I guess giving the McDonalds coffee a miss next time would be a good idea LOL – coffee does it to me everytime.

    Comment by Heidi on October 10, 2006
  18. Can we safely assume that your Mom does NOT read your blog? I once found myself almost censoring something I posted about my Dad smoking Marlboro’s while I was eating my Cheerios because I thought it would piss my Mom off. Then I decided I would not censor…and she didn’t take it personally and actually added a funny comment on the post.

    Comment by Di on October 11, 2006
  19. quite safe to assume.
    she doesn’t read it, because quite frankly, she doesn’t care.
    i told her i was writing for urbanmoms and that i was all excited about it…and she hasn’t once asked me for the URL.

    Comment by amartell on October 11, 2006
  20. […] …like that i always have to pee. at the world’s most inopportune times. and the most inopportune places. like on a bridge waiting to cross the American/Canadian border. um, yeah. […]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » things that only happen to ali…and LOST!!!! on May 30, 2008
  21. […] i want to say that this story totally trumps my sticking my ass through the dining room chair at Jack and Ilana’s AND the ‘sweet the lick’ story or maybe even the shitty blubbery speech i gave at my sister’s wedding or maybe even when i peed in front of my children in a McDonald’s coffee cup. […]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » self mock. again. #932 on August 25, 2008

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