August 25 08

i wish i could tell you about the great, great time we had at buskerfest this weekend. where my kids got balloon animals and got to milk pretend cows and were more amazed by the Fire Guy’s ability to blow up balloons with his nose than his ability to skateboard through a flaming star.

i wish i could tell you about the woman i encountered in the Tim Horton’s bathroom. who was drinking out of the sink. with her mouth. on the faucet.

i wish i could tell you about this banana song that never. ends. EVER.

(there are, at least, 12 more verses to this)

i wish i could tell you about how i’m now HALFWAY though book 4 of the Twilight series. hold me.

i wish i could tell you that i was hitting balls into.the.freaking.outfield last night at baseball. i know, right?

but i can’t.

because right now i’m sporting a swollen nose and an ever-so-lovely bruise on my face.

and this story pretty much trumps just about anything i could have told you.

alright…well, you see that glass door right there behind my dancing daughter?

well, on Friday night, after the kids had gone to sleep, Tova and Fry came over. We sat outside to enjoy, well, erm, the summer? (yeah, that sounds good). well, i thought i heard a noise and was going to go inside to investigate.

and instead of actually, you know, opening the door, like a normal person would have done…

i walked into it. walked right the fuck into it. with my face.

i want to say that this story totally trumps my sticking my ass through the dining room chair at Jack and Ilana’s AND the ‘sweet the lick’ story or maybe even the shitty blubbery speech i gave at my sister’s wedding or maybe even when i peed in front of my children in a McDonald’s coffee cup.

maybe.

although maybe not.

but we are all still laughing about it. and i’m sure we’ll still be laughing. long after the bruises are gone.

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  1. Oh no! Poor you :-( With 2 dogs my patio door never stays clean so I don’t have to worry about ever running right into it!

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    Comment by Steph on August 25, 2008
  2. That’s hysterical! I mean, that’s awful! :)

    AndreAnnas last blog post..A Milestone

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    Comment by AndreAnna on August 25, 2008
  3. HA! Where is that video dammit! ;)

    Hockeymans last blog post..List of Stuff I like

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    Comment by Hockeyman on August 25, 2008
  4. OUCH. Totally something I would do, though :)

    Angellas last blog post..Four Years Ago. Today. And Everything In Between.

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    Comment by Angella on August 25, 2008
  5. At first I thought she was singing ‘Hollaback Girl’. LOL

    Sorry about your face!

    Marias last blog post..Even the most perfect couple isn’t perfect.

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    Comment by Maria on August 25, 2008
  6. Ow, ow, ow. Dam doors smacking people. I’m so not laughing over here. Really. ;)

    Issas last blog post..To my bellas,

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    Comment by Issa on August 25, 2008
  7. ouch Ali hope you’re ok. and bella singing is sooo cute.

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    Comment by LAVENDULA on August 25, 2008
  8. heh, don’t worry about it. my friend went to let my dog out once and couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t go first so she was like, “fine i’ll go outside first” and walked into the screen door while she was STILL HOLDING the handle to open the damn thing. didn’t notice it was closed. hahah.

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    Comment by Shannon on August 25, 2008
  9. Ha! I, too, thought she was busting a little Gwen Stefani there for a second! Far more adorable, though!

    Btw – rockstar move! I’ve totally done it, too. Why is it that only happens when there are people around to witness it rather than the imaginary people you look behind you to see if they saw you when you trip?!

    Kudos to you for plowing through the Twilight books. You’re a far, far stronger woman than I!

    differentkindofgirls last blog post..shall we play a game?

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    Comment by differentkindofgirl on August 25, 2008
  10. Oh. My. God. I totally did the same thing on like the second date with my now husband. He laughed his ass off. I almost needed plastic surgery. The doctor thought for sure I would – turns out it was just the swelling that was lopsided. Good lord.

    HeatherPrides last blog post..WORKIN’ LIKE A DOG MOM

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    Comment by HeatherPride on August 25, 2008
  11. Enjoying Summer, huh? Sorry about the accident.

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    Comment by gorillabuns on August 25, 2008
  12. Ouch.

    Karas last blog post..i hate you

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    Comment by Kara on August 25, 2008
  13. Everyone’s gotta do that at least once in their life don’t ya think??? so funny!

    KathyMs last blog post..Yearly visit to the CNE

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    Comment by KathyM on August 25, 2008
  14. One of my favorite images and stories of my dad is the time he walked through a closed screen door, and took the screen door with him.

    (I’m sorry about your bruises, though!)

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    Comment by Kerri Anne on August 25, 2008
  15. Oh no!!!! You didn’t break that lovely nose of yours, did you? Having to get a nose cast would just be the best ending to this story, ha =) (Not that I would ever wish that upon you!)

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..Signs I Might Have Something to Worry About

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    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on August 25, 2008
  16. You’re right. The nose-meets-window story definitely wins. Although I’m impressed about the baseballs! I’d probably break an arm right off my damned body before a ball would leave the infield.

    lorens last blog post..Children imitating parents imitating children

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    Comment by loren on August 25, 2008
  17. Don’t you just love it when people find your blog on a day like today and this is their first impression of you? So good – I will be back!

    Debbies last blog post..Awkward Social Intercourse

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    Comment by Debbie on August 25, 2008
  18. Show me someone who hasn’t walked into a sliding glass door and I will show you a STONE COLD LIAR!

    I’ve done it three times in this house alone.

    Miss Britts last blog post..Why Do I Blog About My Marriage?

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    Comment by Miss Britt on August 25, 2008
  19. Oh, dang sliding doors. I’ve done that a few times. Must have been hilarious (for everyone but you, of course!). ;)

    Haley-Os last blog post..The Cheaty Little Cottage

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    Comment by Haley-O on August 25, 2008
  20. HAHAH!
    Although sliding doors only exist to be walked into, really. I did that two weekends ago at my brother’s, although MERCIFULLY not at fullspeed.

    Rebeccas last blog post..Monday AGAIN

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    Comment by Rebecca on August 25, 2008
  21. Priceless! I LOVE it when people do stuff like that. Hahaha!

    I try to make sure glass doors are never clean, so as to keep me aware of their presence. ;)

    Kylas last blog post..Fluffy bits everywhere, I’d imagine.

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    Comment by Kyla on August 25, 2008
  22. dang. I wish you could have told us about all that other stuff too, especially the neverending banana song. If your big swollen bruised nose weren’t in the way, you could have posted a little video of the song or something. THAT would have been really funny. I would have laughed my ASS off!

    Margarets last blog post..NGIP Spills It Over At Merlotmom

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    Comment by Margaret on August 25, 2008
  23. My mother in law has walked into the same sliding glass door in their house more than once. You don’t want to laugh, but really, you’ve just gotta laugh! Even if it means being written out of the will. ;)

    mandys last blog post..A Post In Which I Do Nothing But Digress All Over the Place

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    Comment by mandy on August 26, 2008
  24. I’ve drunk walked into my sliding glass door, but I didn’t come out with a bruise. You must be fast.

    Shamelessly Sassys last blog post..The Ho Bath

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    Comment by Shamelessly Sassy on August 26, 2008
  25. um…how is there no picture? No evidence?! I mean, um, wow Ali, that sucks.

    heathers last blog post..Karaoke Kween

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    Comment by heather on August 26, 2008
  26. I meant to get to Buskerfest but I ran out of time :(

    Teena in Torontos last blog post..Spilly Pants is a pervert

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    Comment by Teena in Toronto on August 26, 2008
  27. Oh ouch!!! Hope your bruises disappear soon.

    We bypassed Buskerfest this year.. we couldn’t see a thing last year for all the crowds. Bummer.

    Karen MEGs last blog post..That Was My Life

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    Comment by Karen MEG on August 26, 2008
  28. I’ve done that!! HUGE bruise on my forehead! I would like to say it’s the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done…but it’s not. ;)

    Bris last blog post..Naked Mondays # 23: Where I Would Be If…

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    Comment by Bri on August 27, 2008
  29. haha cute!! i can see how that special little song could drive you bananas (I couldn’t resist) after a bit!!

    you’re bruised from the door? you poor thing!! would have been hugely hilarious though!

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    Comment by Bronnie on August 27, 2008
  30. [...] re-enacted the great Ali-meets-her back door caper of [...]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » the day after labor day on September 2, 2008
  31. That is awesome! And somehow doesn’t surprise me at all.

    Someone walked through a glass wall of a conference room at work so they had to put blinds in.

    Kristabellas last blog post..Wordy Recap

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    Comment by Kristabella on September 2, 2008
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