July 4 07

really, i do. (hey, you in back. quit laughing already. it’s tacky.)

i mean, sure, they aren’t super perky like my sister’s or gigantanormous like some of my friends, but they are nice. especially considering they served as a wet bar for a total of 17 months to three different children and considering they yo-yoed in size ranging anywhere from a 32A to a 34DDD.

i’ve finally reached a point where i’m content with my rack. my small c’s are nothing to be ashamed of.

until this morning.

i leaned upside-down to blow dry the under-side of my hair (come on…you know you do it too…) and the girls, well, they just didn’t look right. they looked…erm…empty somehow. deflated water balloons, perhaps?

(yes, i was naked. yes, it’s not only pilates that i do in the buff. i also blow dry and iron my hair totally nude.)

so, i stood in the bathroom. my conair dryer in one hand. my boob in the other. squeezing. wondering where all the substance to my breasts has escaped to…and just as i had made up my mind that..YES! THEY ARE HOT! LOOK AT ME! I’M A FUCKIN’ MILF!…i hear a gasp.

“mommy, what are you doing?” she asks in complete horror.

“oh, Emily, it’s just something mommies do. you’ll understand when you’re older.”

and she will, i’m sure…

and not only am i proud of the girls this morning, i’m also proud to say that, like pretty much every other female blogger out there, was awarded with a rockin’ girl blogger award by not one, but three of my favorite bloggers- Laural  AND AndreAnna AND Lara. Thanks, girlies. (mwah!)

and now, it seems, it’s my duty

(he…i said duty…which, i guess would explain the GIRL in the title of this honor. my sense of humor is not yet a woman…go on, belt out your best britney…)

to give out this award to five (is it five?) other rockin’ bloggers. I stole this little icon from one of my girl-crushes and photoshop queen, Oh, The Joys. oh, how i love her, but alas, she’s already gotten this award. and so has my dear Vodkarella. and MamaTulip. and Sarah and the Good Squad. so, in the hopes to award this to some rockin’ bloggers who HAVEN’T yet gotten this….

1. Chantal @ Bread Crumbs in the Butter.

2. Anne (though not her real name!) @ Anne Nahm.

3. Beth @ So The Fish Said.

4. Stacy @ Snarkwife.

5. Nancy @ Mom, Ma’am, Me.

i love these ladies. love ’em. if you read them, you KNOW how good they are. if you don’t read them…you better get your asses over there. they are worth the trip.

  1. Do you know what kind of google hits you’re going to get with this? LOL.

    Mine deflated after only one baby and they were small before, and I could only breastfeed for 6 weeks. You should be lucky they held on this long.

    Give them a prize!!

    Comment by AndreAnna on July 4, 2007
  2. Ha! I had the exact same experience (hairdryer, naked, up side down, deflated balloon boobies)a few weeks ago! You are not alone! My solution? Ignore them when hair drying.

    AndreAnna is right: you’ll get really weird google hits when posting about boobs. I got some really freaky ones after my “small breasts” post.

    Comment by Nadine on July 4, 2007
  3. L.M.F.A.O. You crack me UP!

    Comment by mamatulip on July 4, 2007
  4. So nonchalant about it to. You KILL me!!! LMFAO!

    Comment by sam on July 4, 2007
  5. Tooo funny.
    I so do not blow dry naked. It’s not a shame thing it’s just that it burns my shoulders.
    But good for you and the boob love. I actually don’t mind mine either 🙂

    Comment by Laural on July 4, 2007
  6. Hey – just wanted to say I love your blog.
    I accidentally found it today when I googled ‘super bar that served upside-down boobs in bread crumbs and butter with fish’

    Comment by GRM on July 4, 2007
  7. Mine are quite scary. I’ve told my husband that when I’m done having babies I’m getting a boob job – I’ll be the hottest 80 year old at the beach!

    Comment by Rebecca on July 4, 2007
  8. Oh, my knees are always bruised when I walk around nekkid. Boobs banging/hanging dwn low as they do… Don’t catch your boobs in the hair dryer.

    Comment by shelly on July 4, 2007
  9. You know that you’re toxic….


    You’re a total MILF! And yes, she’ll understand when she’s a mommy.

    Comment by Humor Girl on July 4, 2007
  10. Ali, you are one HOT MILF!!! Well, maybe not a MILF but a MAMLF (AM=any man 😉

    Comment by Tova on July 4, 2007
  11. You know, whenever I’m feeling all hot and MILF-like (I typed MILK about ten times!), I brush my teeth naked.

    And then I feel nothing but shame.

    Comment by chantal on July 4, 2007
  12. Ummm… Who were you referring to when you mentioned friends with gigantanormous boobs? Anyone…in particular…? 😉

    Comment by Haley-O on July 4, 2007
  13. rock on, rockin girl! 🙂

    and yes, the child will understand when she’s older. i’m not even a mom yet, but i understand that part at least. 😉

    Comment by lara on July 4, 2007
  14. You dry and iron your hair in the nude? That last part sounds like it could be painful. 😉

    I actually have to blow dry my hair when I’m dressed so I don’t have to watch the little fat pockets jiggling and see the stretch marks while I’m getting ready for work. Otherwise I’d just get depressed and end up back in bed. Heh!

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for the rocking blogger award. It’s an awesome honor. I shall now try to find 5 bloggers as hot as yourself to award this title to.

    Comment by Nancy on July 4, 2007
  15. Good choices (and what’s mine is yours, friend. Always.)

    Comment by Oh, The Joys on July 4, 2007
  16. They are NOT perky, just great bras 🙂

    Comment by C on July 4, 2007
  17. I was going to comment that I usually do my best boob-contemplation when I’m on my hands and knees having sex “au chien” (does it sound better in french?) but then I realized that this is my first visit to your blog, and perhaps this is a bit too personal, so instead my comment is this:

    are you the girl in the sandals, or in the white boots?

    Comment by Jay on July 5, 2007
  18. You’re definitely not the only one who blow dries her hair in the buff! I get way too hot otherwise 😉

    Comment by Multi-tasking Mommy on July 5, 2007
  19. This is why videoblogging needs to become much more popular than it currently is.

    Comment by Chris on July 5, 2007
  20. That is a hysterical post! Thank you for the shout out – I am blushing my butt off. :^)

    Comment by anne nahm on July 5, 2007
  21. […] this is a picture of me and my brother. (see….i told you i had nice boobs – huzzah!) we look, erm, NOTHING alike. when we took the kids to (yes, again) cheesecake factory for lunch after we left the wedding, the staff thought that we were MARRIED. and that the girls were OURS. ick. No Comments so far Leave a comment RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI Leave a comment Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong> […]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy on July 10, 2007
  22. You can’t imagine my fright when I checked out my incoming links and saw, “I have nice boobs.”

    And thanks for the kind shout out!

    Comment by Stacy on July 11, 2007
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