While Ali is out and about with her family I volunteered to “guest” host her blog for today. Ok, I admit to begging! She’s just so fab that I wanted to hang with the “in” crowd. Story of my life through middle and high school.
I wanted to share some things with you about my neighbor, because we can all relate to crazy people.
I’ve written about my neighbors before on my blog, but I thought I’d give you some insight into my neighborhood. Since Ali is from Canada and for all I know her neighbors might be very normal, so I want to spread the craziness around.
We’ve lived here for about 6 1/2 years and in that time we’ve experienced a lot of weirdness on the block, but the majority of it has come from the old lady next door. The houses on our street are built fairly close to one another so privacy is hard to come by. When we first moved in there was a short chain-link fence dividing our backyard from her driveway.
Yes, had she been a hot twenty-something my husband would have enjoyed the view of her laying out in her bikini from our patio….but she’s a wrinkly 80 year old! (Shortly after losing our vision we put up a tall wooden fence.)
It seemed like every time we had guests over to grill-out she would pull out the leaf blower and clean their driveway. Every single time. It was frustrating because we couldn’t hold a conversation over the noise. Even during our son’s 1 year old birthday party she found it necessary to blow every leaf and stick off her drive. Common courtesy would have waited. Right?
Then there was the time my husband’s family was visiting and we were all outside enjoying a fall afternoon when suddenly the old lady started beating a broom against the bottom of an oak tree in her backyard. She was attacking the tree! We could hear her muttering something about a squirrel. The next morning we awoke to find she’d covered the tree trunk (about 10 feet) with aluminum. It provides a nice shiny reflection on sunny days.
We’ve almost gotten accustomed to the Christmas decorating that takes place right after Thanksgiving. She places this very old Santa and sleigh wood cut out in the front yard and has a large red spotlight directed at it. The problem is that our bedroom is at the front of the house and our window faces her house and absorbs most of the red light.
I can remember the first time the light came on and we were laying in bed. My husband and I both jumped up thinking something had to be on fire from the glow on our walls. Turns out we just live in the red light district. It wouldn’t be too bad if she didn’t have the light timer set to stay on until 6 a.m.
For the most part she provides a large amount of entertainment. She mows the dirt grass sometimes 2-3 times a week. Since she’s basically just blowing up dust she’ll wear a mask, bandanna, sunglasses and gloves. Our son asked me if was a bank robber!
See that was painless. Just be glad I didn’t write about diaphragm’s! Come visit me (FENICLE) sometime!