August 31 09

I’m just warning you before I start rambling that at the end of this post I will be posting a video that you, like I did, will probably find hilarious. and you will likely watch it more than once to see if, well, if it IS, indeed a wiener (well, I know that FADKOG will, at least) (and my sister who watched the movie yesterday, which is kind of freaky and creepy…but that’s how my sister and I are, scarily alike. I mean, what are the chances that we’d both randomly watch Teen Wolf on a random sunday?) anyway, I’m just warning you up front that you don’t have to read the whole post…because that’s always the way, yes? I write something important or weird or bizarre and then there’s the video or I say the words Mad Men and every single comment is about Mad Men – which, oh my god, two episodes into season 1 and I completely and totally understand why everyone only wants to talk about Mad Men…because MAD MEN!

ps. Does Meat Loaf Aday think people are going to take him more seriously because he’s added the Aday to his name? I mean, his name is Meat Loaf, for Chrissakes.

So, the husband is back in town. which means I get to abuse his kindness enjoy him for the next twenty days until I have to put him back on a plane to Toronto again. Yes, this is our life now. Ten days without him, 20 days with him. Which, really, in theory is not all that bad until your best friend MURPHY shows up with his effing LAW and everything that can go wrong actually does. So, he’s home.


he’s not a professional handyman, he just plays one on TV.

But, he’s not just all about fixing things. He’s about fixing me. A very tired, very broken ME. He showed up with a giant box of these


and hired a babysitter so we could go out on Saturday night for a super fancy dinner at Cheesecake Factory. Yes, kids, I AM being sarcastic when I use the words fancy and cheesecake factory together in the same sentence. But, that’s how I am…super classy. The husband told me to pick anywhere I wanted to go, and that was my pick. Because, well, I tend to think with my sweet tooth and….well…I think this speaks for itself…


thank you Stefanie, whoever you are, for creating this red velvet cake with cream cheese icing meets cheesecake deliciousness. my ass thanks you.

And having him home means that I can do necessary things that I have been putting off because well, you remember how my last visit to Victoria’s Secret ended, yes? But, buying new brassieres was an absolute necessity but when I walked into the store and was talking to the lady who worked there who was surprisingly nice – more than likely because my children weren’t playing the PENIS game – started giggling, guffawing and laughing when I tried to convince her that I was a 34C.

“Oh, honey, you are no more than a 32B”

which she followed up with

“If that…”


and she was right. my god, my boobies are gone. and let me just say for the record that losing weight is all kinds of fun…but losing weight in your bosom and not really anywhere else…NO FUN AT ALL.

and now, here it is….just for you….the VERY BEST THING TO PASS THE CENSORS EVER…(watch the dude in the bleachers). It’s way better than the Star Wars storm trooper hitting his head…

and some people will try to convince you that this is a woman…but I am sticking to my ‘it’s totally a peen’ theory.

  1. OMG, it’s totally a PEEN! Haaaaaaa.

    Comment by whoorl on August 31, 2009
  2. Umm…yeah..looks like “peen” to me.

    I have never been..umm..blessed in the chest area. The best, while nursing has been a B. After I lost 80+ pounds after my last baby, it went down to an almost AA. There are NO bras out there for the likes of my chest. So, I totally understand how you feel about losing weight in an area that doesn’t need losing!

    Comment by Lisa on August 31, 2009
  3. Gah! I just saw your post but I have to leave right this second to go back to day shifts. BAH! I’m so going to be back!
    .-= fadkog´s last blog ..everybody’s got to grow up sometime. apparently. =-.

    Comment by fadkog on August 31, 2009
  4. I don’t know what it was, but it was disturbing.

    Also disturbing, but in a completely different way, is how my house also seems to fall apart if my husband isn’t here to fix it.

    Comment by C @ Kid Things on August 31, 2009
  5. Wow looks like that stiffy popped the zipper right off! Woo Hoo to having the man back, mine is back today only after 13 days! I doubt I will get cookies though.
    .-= NaomiJesson´s last blog ..Who’s learning the lesson here? =-.

    Comment by NaomiJesson on August 31, 2009
  6. I love Stefanie too. And I’m driving 45 minutes to get a piece of her goodness later this afternoon.

    I think I’m officially addicted.

    Comment by ClassyFabSarah on August 31, 2009
  7. I would say that is a peen.

    Also: how long will it be 10 off, 20 on for him? Because I can’t believe you moved for 10 extra days a month.

    Comment by SciFi Dad on August 31, 2009
  8. Holy crow, it’s totally a peen!

    Comment by Just Shireen on August 31, 2009
  9. Holy crap! That cake looks so good I almost licked my computer screen. Also, totally peen. And yay for getting your hubby back!!

    Comment by Jill on August 31, 2009
  10. It’s certainly not much of a peen, poor guy.

    Comment by Cyndi on August 31, 2009
  11. I am trying really hard to comment on the other topics in your post, but OMG that was a funny video! I think I will giggle like a school girl the rest of the day. I mean that was no barn door open, that was the roof and the walls of the barn are gone! Hahahaha!

    Glad to hear the hubs is back!!

    Comment by Sarah on August 31, 2009
  12. I feel like I have to say something about Mad Men.

    It’s totally a peen.

    Also, that cheesecake looks like a slice of heaven!

    I’m glad Gabe is back! I’m bummed he won’t be there when I’m in town!

    Comment by Kristabella on August 31, 2009
  13. I have yet to watch mad men yet. I am recording the 2nd season as we speak, but i must netflix the first.
    Speaking of which- I happen to work with the man who brought mad men to tv. he is a rockstar
    .-= Maya´s last blog ..Did I ever tell you about my First Wedding? =-.

    Comment by Maya on August 31, 2009
  14. OMFG.. i am totally going to get that cake TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    .-= jennster´s last blog i almost died at taco bell last night =-.

    Comment by jennster on August 31, 2009
  15. Yay for your hubby being home. It’s fun for like two days, then I usually want mine home again.

    Comment by Kaleigha on August 31, 2009
  16. Peen peen peen peen and now I want to watch Mad Men.

    Comment by katie ~ motherbumper on August 31, 2009
  17. Peen!!

    Also, I hear you on the boobies. I would gladly gain a few pounds if they would go straight to my chest.

    (Also a 32B. On a good day.)

    Comment by Angella on August 31, 2009
  18. Light bulbs must be genetically inclined to die when husbands are gone. I was gone 3 days last week, and 3 bulbs went out on my wife. Weird thing was one of them decided to come back to life on its own when I got back.

    If you knew how many times my son and I have rewound (rewinded?) the stormtrooper bonking his head, you’ll understand why I will never be able to rent Teen Wolf.

    Comment by BusyDad on August 31, 2009
  19. I can’t watch the video at work, but I’m guessing I know what it is and I’m with you.

    Comment by slynnro on August 31, 2009
  20. Ali you crack me up!!!and yes i had to watch it 3 times before i saw it but definitely a” peen”…and yep it sucks i only seem to be losing weight in my boobage totally sucks but at least mine is somewhat ample…

    Comment by LAVENDULA on August 31, 2009
  21. Yeah, agreed, definitely a peen. Took an office survey and they all agree, too.

    Ok, so I know you don’t want to deprive yourself from too much awesome-tastic-hubbiness, but we should plan a dinner/drinks out!

    Comment by Darcey on August 31, 2009

    And then I re-read that first sentence of yours and I might come off as a wee bit of a weenie watcher. Eh, it’s all good.


    I’m going to borrow Seasons 1-2 of Mad Men from a friend at work, and have been recording this season, so I will soon roll around in some Mad Men love. I trust there’s no errant testicles in that show. YET.
    .-= fadkog´s last blog ..everybody’s got to grow up sometime. apparently. =-.

    Comment by fadkog on August 31, 2009
  23. I am totally sketched by that video.

    How did I not know about this cake? I am totally going to get some this weekend.

    Comment by Tutugirl on August 31, 2009
  24. Totally peen!

    And also – those cookies are probably the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

    Comment by Miss Britt on August 31, 2009
  25. It’s definitely a peen. I’ve always had my red velvet cake with cream cheese icing. It’s a must of red velvet cake!

    Comment by Angel on August 31, 2009
  26. I find that video to be hysterical and skeevey at the same time.
    .-= William´s last blog ..Impact =-.

    Comment by William on September 1, 2009
  27. Ditto on the peen.

    I’m just the opposite over here. Stuff starts breaking — the computer, the DVD player, oven, car, garage door opener, dishwasher, etc. — when my husband spends a lot of time at home (ie. summer holiday, Christmas break, etc.). I swear when he was on summer break (he’s a college instructor), things would fall down as he’d pass them. It’s unreal.

    Yay, on having the hubby back!

    Comment by Nenette on September 1, 2009
  28. Why do your boobs always lose weight first? Why not from the ass? thighs? child-bearing stomach? It’s a cruel, cruel world.

    Comment by Sarah on September 1, 2009
  29. Also:

    1) PEEN for sure.

    2) What about the camel toe from the lady in the acid washed jeans next to him. YIKES

    Comment by Sarah on September 1, 2009
  30. DUDE. Ever since I got this auto-immune disease thingie, I’ve shed 10 pounds–and it’s ALL been in my chest. I’m down to an A 1/2–something I NEVER thought I’d say before. Not that I’m complaining, but ass? Thighs? Love handles? Pretty please???

    Comment by Camels & Chocolate on September 2, 2009
  31. Cheesecake Factory is totally fancy. They use cloth napkins!

    Comment by Avitable on September 2, 2009
  32. That’s totally a boy thing.
    Cheesecake.. NOM NOM NOM

    Comment by rachel-asouthernfairytale on September 2, 2009
  33. Oui, oui, tis a wee-wee!

    Glad hubby is home, at least for awhile, and can fix some of your problems. How sweet to bring you those cookies. And date night? Priceless.

    Comment by pat on September 6, 2009
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