Today is a banner day. It’s 9:47am. I’m on a mom strike—due to my children not understanding that I can’t be their mom and their maid. I’m on a wife strike—due to my husband not understanding that saying, “It’s early, don’t yell” is the wrong thing to say to the mom who is about to go on strike, due to her children not understanding that I can’t be their mom and their maid.

Josh left for camp with out his swim stuff. OF COURSE HE DID. I’m resisting the urge to drive to camp and drop off his towel and suit. But I’m not going to do it, because I’m on strike. Because maybe while he’s sitting by the pool and watching everyone else swim, watching everyone else get that much-needed refreshing respite from the hot, hot baseball camp non-shaded heat, he’ll remember to bring his stuff tomorrow.

STOP ME.

At 9:35 the doorbell rang. It was FedEx. Thankfully, FedEx comes and drops stuff off at my door without forcing me to make conversation and sign anything. This was mostly a bonus for him, since I’m covered in yesterday’s eye makeup, in the initial stages of dry shampooing my bangs (spray is in, but not yet brushed out), I’m un-brassiered, un-made-up, and I’m still in my mismatched pajamas. I pretty much look like a zombie vampire right now. And not in a good way. I grabbed the package and closed the door. The package was…wet. So, I threw it down on the counter and went back upstairs to tend to my dry shampoo situation.

And then the doorbell rang again.

What does FedEx want now, to apologize for the wet package?

Oh no. It was my lovely friend, just out for a walk with another friend, smiles on their faces and Starbucks in their hands.

“HI!” she says, she’s so sweet.

“Uh, hi, what’s up, oh my god.”

“Is everything okay? We were just out for a nice walk and thought we’d stop by and say hi.”

“I’M NOT WEARING A BRA.”

“I don’t care! It’s me!”

“I’M NOT WEARING PANTS. You have to leave now.”

And I basically shut the door.

That’s what any zombie vampire would do, right?

And now I feel badly because she’s such a good friend and I really adore her and I love that she didn’t care that I wasn’t wearing a bra and that she stopped by to say hi because sometimes work-at-home moms are lonely and she knows that and she really, really only meant well.

BUT.

She dropped by unannounced.

And that got me thinking. Are there rules here? Like, say, don’t drop by before noon or after 9pm without texting, emailing, or calling first? Do you drop by announced? Are you okay when other people drop by unannounced? Are you always company-ready?

(Maybe I’m just crazy.)

If I’m being honest, I’m a person who likes everyone to think that she has her shit together.

(Doesn’t everyone?)

I don’t want you to think that I yell at my kids in the morning. I don’t want you to think that I argue with my husband when he tells me not to yell at my kids in the morning. I don’t want you to think that my son’s swim stuff is sitting on my dining room table, forgotten (STOP ME).

I do get dressed every day. But sometimes it’s not before 10:30am.

I do put makeup on every day. But sometimes it’s not until noon.

I do have a clean house. But sometimes it’s not until after lunch, when there’s a lull in my work day and I can shift focus from my first job to my other job—cleaning lady.

I have my shit together, most of the time.

Just not always when you want to drop by unannounced.