When the world seems upside-down, I grab the control where I can. I can say yes more.
Which is why I found my daughter with her “surprise we’re going to Yogurty’s!” face on.
I like saying yes. This week it sure feels good to say yes. This week it feels good to see children making faces like that—filled with pure I’m-about-to-get-my-sugar-on joy.
I know I’m supposed to be extra schmoopy about my kids right now. Everyone’s holding ‘em a little closer, hugging ‘em a little tighter, cherishing them a little extra. That’s what we do, right? We appreciate THE GOOD when bad things happen, because we are so goddamn lucky to have these three humans. We are so lucky that we weren’t in Boston on Monday, that we weren’t in West, Texas last night. We are so lucky. And I know how lucky I am.
And you best know how much I appreciate everything I have, and everything I could lose in a split second. Because I do. So. Much.
But guess what?
This morning happened.
I came home from the gym to find Isabella trying on every single article of clothing that has been packed away at the back of her closet. Clothes that were too small on the bigger sister, still too big for the little sister. Trying on every single last piece of still-too-large clothing. After I had told her not to. And then leaving it…all over the floor. After I had told her not to.
I saw the piles of clean laundry collecting dust in the hallway, not put away like I had asked.
I saw the lack of lunch boxes in the kitchen. I ask my kids for exactly one thing when they come home from school—to put their empty lunch boxes in the kitchen so I am not combing the house for them in the early hours of the a.m. when I’m way too tired to be packing three different lunches for three different picky palates.
I saw the dirty clothing that they had thrown down the basement steps; the clothing I had asked them to put in the hamper.
I saw the left-open box of cookies, the left-messy bathroom sink, the left-on lights in all the bedrooms, the left-unsigned homework, the left-everywhere half-finished glasses of water.
I saw the complete and total sloth and disregard for me and for what I do for them.
And then I lost my mind.
And I’m pretty sure I just went on strike.
I have no idea who is signing their homework this morning, but it’s not me.
I have no idea who is packing their lunches this morning, but it’s not me.
I have no idea who is doing the have-you-brushed-you-teeth breath check, but it’s not me.
I have no idea who is making sure water bottles are filled, hair is put into proper ponytails, indoor shoes are packed, outdoor shoes are on, breakfast has been eaten, but it’s not me.
I’m on strike.
Until further notice.
If you’re looking for me, I’ll probably be working from Yogurty’s today.