Isabella is loving all the traipsing strangers potential buyers who have been coming in and out of our house lately (side note: LOTS of visitors; no offers yet). unlike me – i run for cover and try to pretend that i’m not in the house, ho hum, lalal i’m hiding while there are scary russians picking apart my home – she gets all giddy and introduces each room to them with an arbitrary fact, “this is my room! my pajamas are in my top drawer!” yesterday when i asked her about the people who came that day she said:
“they were very shy”
“yes. i think it’s because they were shy-nese”
that’s my girl. unintentionally funny. just like her mama.
also, unintentionally funny? Paula Abdul. Paula bringing out some coloring books for Simon and then when Seacrest says, “what else do you have under the table?” and Paula proudly answers that it’s “under her skirt” i really don’t know how i kept my dinner down. i hope that Miss Moose wasn’t watching, because her retch-fest might have returned.
also, unintentionally funny? forcing my son to assist me get my thong (the underpants, not the flip flop) out of my dog’s mouth. it was a two person job. i don’t know which of us was more embarrassed. i’m thinking Josh.
speaking of my wonderful son who all of a sudden is like this little smartypants who we are told has been put into reading AND math enrichment at school. WHAT? now, i’m going to say something and you all are going to look up from your screens and be all, “wow, ali really is a shitty mother” but please, reserve your judgements. thanks. especially if you are my favorite troll of the week, Betsy, the bunny owner from Toronto who made me feel like total shit this week. So, basically, i didn’t know that my son was smart.
i mean, every mother thinks her children are perfect. i once went to visit a friend and her brand-new baby and she said to me, completely and totally without a shred of irony, “i know every mother thinks her child is the most beautiful child in the world, but i’m SURE that Ilan really is the most beautiful baby to ever exist.” and she was serious. she really thought she was being objective about it. but, really, you CANNOT be completely objective when it’s your child, right? so, the same way i was kind of blown away when Emily’s play director said, “you DO know that she has a beautiful voice, right?” i was kind of blown away when Josh’s teacher said, “you DO know that Josh is an exceptional child, right?”
but, alas, here’s the rub. the actual reason i brought all of this up.
my son does his homework every.single.night but never turns it in.
smart, you say? the only thing dumber than NOT doing your homework is actually going to all the trouble to spend the hours (and i mean hours) to, you know, actually do it but never hand it in.
is this a boy thing? Miss Emily is so proud of her homework and can’t wait to show all her work to her teachers. she’s a total browner and NEEDS the positive feedback. the girl lives for the feedback. i mean, this is the “WATCH ME MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY, MOM, MAMA, MAMA! ARE YOU WATCHING?!?!” girl. maybe Josh just doesn’t need it? Maybe he just knows he’s already awesome?