Restaurants, grocery stores, furniture stores, malls, parks, Old Navy, electronic stores, Target, Starbucks. Pretty much everywhere I go, I get stopped.

“I LOVE your glasses.”

“I just had to stop and ask you about your glasses. WHERE did you get them?”

“Are they real? Like, are they vintage, or just retro replicas?”

“I wish I could pull off glasses like that!”

“I had those exact glasses when I was young.”

“You need to be wearing pearls and a shirt dress, you look so Mad Men.”

“Those are amazing.”

I always enjoy giving the answers, it never gets old. Yes. They ARE amazing. Yes. They are actually from the 50s, no replicas here. Yes. I did pay a lot of money for them. Yes. They have real lenses in them. Yes. I DO need some pearls and a shirt dress.

Honestly, I am kind of enjoying the attention. I have never been the kind of girl who stops traffic or gets noticed in a crowd. I’m kind of a blender, I’d say. So, it’s nice to stand out a little. I smile now when people stare and me, as opposed to before, when I’d get all fidgety and worry if people were staring at a giant booger hanging from my nostril. Or something.

My glasses are making me a more confidant person. It’s interesting, that. Because when I got my glasses at age 12, they kind of did the exact opposite.

So, you can kind of see my surprise when I ran into someone at the school parking lot this morning, and while I thought she was going to make a comment about my glasses, instead, she looked at me and said,

“ARE YOU WEARING A NEW WIG?”

without a single hint of irony.

AHEM. A new wig? As opposed to my old wig? WIG? Why does she think I wear a wig? Maybe she thought I was someone else? Maybe my new 6-inch haircut looks like a wig, omg?

So, I turned to her and said YES. Then I hopped in my car and immediately pulled down the mirror to make sure I didn’t have a booger hanging from my nose and to adjust my hair to make it as UNWIGLIKE as I could.

I mean, obviously, if I WAS going to get a wig, it’s gonna look like this…