February 29 08

because i am the Mother of the Year (don’t even try to steal my thunder…the honor is all mine), it only makes sense that i will be in St. Lucia when my firstborn turns 7. she has informed us, however, that because we are missing her actual birthday, we will be celebrating before we leave and after we get back. “because you guys were never miss Isabella’s birthdaybut, *sigh* i know, she’s your favorite” she has a masters degree in laying-it-on-thick. also..it’s clear who wears the pants in our family.

the mother of the year, it is not.

do not let her super cute baby pictures fool you

my flying monkey might be the spawn of the devil.

(wait…um, she’s my spawn…so that can’t be right…)

(i have certainly overused the word spawn this week, haven’t i?)

sure…she’s cute…

and sure, she’s a great dancer

and sure, she thinks that the words to the Aladdin song are “asshole new world”. and sure, she won’t sleep on daddy’s side of the bed because his bum bum touches it. and sure, she’s smart and funny and is almost cool enough to hang out with…

…but devil, i tell you. put on this earth to test me and my patience. we’ve always used the word ‘precocious’ to describe Emily. a teenager in a small little body. she cares about fashion and boys and music (not good music, mind you…since she loves Gwen Stefani and Fergie….) and her hair.

but, Ali, why all this devil talk today, you ask? none of this is new…we knew Emily was ahead of her time.

here it is. drumroll….

my child has discovered the phone.

she’s not even seven. and my phone is ringing all night. girls from school. girls from hip hop. BOYS. calling. nonstop.

help. me. please. pray for me that i’ll be able to stop screening my calls soon…

  1. I have a 10yr old and an almost 7 yr old…and both get phone calls from friends…ON MY CELL PHONE! Yes. We got rid of our land line…so technically that is the only way they can contact my kids…but hello? I am at work…and when I check my phone? I have 10 missed calls from the same kid. Persistant much?

    jodi’s last blog post..Hey Mickey!

    Comment by jodi on February 29, 2008
  2. We are getting back from our May trip the day before Jane’s birthday, so I’ve asked my MIL to make her cake!

    metro mama’s last blog post..So Many Books, So Little Time

    Comment by metro mama on February 29, 2008
  3. Uh oh. That’s all I got for you Ali.

    Comment by Heather on February 29, 2008
  4. damn Ali my sides hurt from laughing so hard….boy are you going to HAVE FUN when Emilys a teenager…..

    Comment by LAVENDULA on February 29, 2008
  5. You know this is only gonna get worse as she creeps closer to her teenage years, right? 🙂 Start drinking now.

    metalia’s last blog post..What I Said/What She Heard

    Comment by metalia on February 29, 2008
  6. And just think, in 5 years you can do it all again, with Bella 🙂
    Enjoy your trip! If she’s anything like my son, she’ll be crying when you pick her up, because she doesn’t want to come home .. sweet!

    Comment by Sarah on February 29, 2008
  7. When we went to the Dominican in May, we missed Meghan 6th birthday. I’d like to tell you that she was understanding and didn’t hold it against us, but that would be a bold faced lie. She milked that little diddy for all she could!

    Comment by Chantal on February 29, 2008
  8. wait till she gets a cell phone then you will never know who shes talking to

    Comment by northportmom on February 29, 2008
  9. BOYS are calling?!


    “Asshole new world” cracks me up. Julia and Oliver think that the theme song to that show Mighty Machines goes, “Mighty machines…friggin’ mighty machines…” I’ve given up on correcting them.

    Comment by mamatulip on February 29, 2008
  10. First born girls are meant to ride on your very last nerve, really.
    My Girl is in luv with the phone – is there anything more fun than calling your friends who you have spent THE WHOLE DAY WITH? No there is not.
    We handle it by setting strict phone rules: all phone calls must be in the family room! None may be longer than five minutes! And there is a two phone call a day maximum. But we are strict, no-fun parents.

    Comment by Rebecca on February 29, 2008
  11. BOYS?!?


    Damn… tell us exactly what you did so that those of us with younger girls can, you know, do the OPPOSITE! 😉

    SciFi Dad’s last blog post..THS: Breaking News

    Comment by SciFi Dad on February 29, 2008
  12. Aren’t you going next week? What day is her bday? My boys is a week from now, thats why I ask. What the heck are we gonna do when you are gone? Yikes!
    Mine likes to call ME whenever he can. Which is equally annoying.

    Miss’s last blog post..Now I know

    Comment by Miss on February 29, 2008
  13. I LOVE the word “spawn”…. It’s perfection.

    Haley-O’s last blog post..Can’t.

    Comment by Haley-O on February 29, 2008
  14. *roaring laughter* You think it’s bad now…wait until she’s 14.5 I thought Kara was bad at 6, but now…it seriously is an ASSHOLE WORLD. Did I mention I have TWO of them? At least now it’s somewhat, ‘cute’…when she’s older…PAINFUL and SICKING!!

    Kristine’s last blog post..Friday Fill In — Fond of Snape

    Comment by Kristine on February 29, 2008
  15. Oh good luck with that one. I don’t think I was allowed to talk on the phone until 12 or something. Then I had to pay for my own phone line. Just something to think about.

    skiplovey’s last blog post..Care for a side of random with that?

    Comment by skiplovey on February 29, 2008
  16. I have this image that my first born daughter will be the exact opposite of me, meaning she is a perfect angel. Don’t ruin it for me! I was a brat and I loved the phone and my mean parents were always telling me to get off!

    Megan’s last blog post..A Very EmilyPie Photo Challenge.

    Comment by Megan on February 29, 2008
  17. I love the crossed arms in that second shot.

    Chris’s last blog post..The Weeklies #25

    Comment by Chris on February 29, 2008
  18. Dang! She’s good… I didn’t even have that many boys calling me in high school. I will tell you this tho, beware of the desire for a cellphone. I can tell it is fast approaching.

    Lindz’s last blog post..Bass-ackwards

    Comment by Lindz on February 29, 2008
  19. boys. are calling??? blake is 9 and he has never called a girl and never wanted too. and i laugh because i think when people ask for our phone number blake goes, “i don’t know.” and he doesn’t care. LOL..
    lord help you with this one. HAHAHAHA

    jennster’s last blog post..i feel like a new mom

    Comment by jennster on February 29, 2008
  20. wow — I agree… start drinking now.

    Holly’s last blog post..Fever-Land

    Comment by Holly on February 29, 2008
  21. Get her a cell phone so she can just text and get phone calls without it bothering you. Remember, these next few years are all about making it less taxing on YOU!!!

    Di’s last blog post..Author! Author!

    Comment by Di on February 29, 2008
  22. Ack! Now I’m glad my son has “social issues”. haha!

    Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Not Only a Feminist, But an Obnoxious Parent Too!

    Comment by Queen of Shake Shake on February 29, 2008
  23. Oh yeah, you are totally in trouble mommy! You really are. Good luck with that, I’m rooting for you.

    noble pig’s last blog post..Esoteric, Useless, Meaningless Bits of Information About Me That I’m Going to Share With You, Even Though I Probably Shouldn’t

    Comment by noble pig on February 29, 2008
  24. Boys are calling?! I don’t even remember talking to a girl at that age.

    Neil’s last blog post..Happiness Project, Day 2: Developing a Facebook Application

    Comment by Neil on March 1, 2008
  25. Just wait… the teenage years are JUST around the corner.

    Maureen’s last blog post..Apologizing To Animals

    Comment by Maureen on March 1, 2008
  26. Boys uh? And the phone? Wow.

    Our son is the king of drama as well…he can lay it on pretty thick too.

    FENICLE’s last blog post..A White Coat Doesn’t Define You

    Comment by FENICLE on March 1, 2008
  27. I have an almost 6 year old. I’m scared. Very scared.

    Shan’s last blog post..the three hour toast

    Comment by Shan on March 2, 2008
  28. I am dying over “Asshole new world”. Yikes…phone? boys? SCARY! A pre- preteen!

    Huckdoll’s last blog post..Out of My Way….I’m Going OUT!!!

    Comment by Huckdoll on March 3, 2008
  29. where it my doom-impending MP3 when I need it? You are in for it, girl.

    Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..March 08 Greeblemix

    Comment by Aimee Greeblemonkey on March 3, 2008
  30. Oh goodness, the phone at 7? My parents were in trouble when I discovered the phone in grade nine!!!

    Multi-Tasking Mommy’s last blog post..Finally!

    Comment by Multi-Tasking Mommy on March 3, 2008

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