February 18 07

****Edits below! and a picture!****

if you know anything and me and the husband, you’ll know that we are quite different. i’m a “let’s try to please everyone” kind of person while the husband is more of a “let’s do what’s good for us” kind of guy. you want to eat dinner at 8:30 instead of 7? that’s cool by me. might not be my first choice, but i don’t care. i like to eat. doesn’t matter when. you want to see the new Brad Pitt instead of the new Indie? that’s cool by me. again, not my first choice, but i don’t care. It’s just for me, at the end of the day, i’m happy to be with my friends. i’d rather not speak up and go with the flow. it’s how i am, it’s how i’ll always be.

now, i’ll tell you right up front that neither one of these ways is ideal. there has to be some sort of balance between always compromising and not compromising at all. we just haven’t found it yet.

this morning i took Emily to the husband’s cousin’s bat mitzvah party. it was all-girls’ pizza and scrapbooking party. a far cry from the dinner-and-dance-catered-with-a-band bat-mitzvah that my Emily will likely have, but it was nice. and Emily had a blast. tonight we are planning to hang out with our friends (another 2 couples in that friends-for-life category) and they called to say they were serving pizza. now, my husband, who was looking out for me, and who had the best intentions, asked if there were any other choices, since i had said i would prefer not to have pizza for the second meal in a row.

now, i don’t know if i should have, since sometimes i get angry inappropriately.

but i was upset because if anyone had asked me, i would have said that pizza was fine. yes, not my first choice, not by a long shot. but, if it was going to make everyone else in the equation happy, i was certainly more than willing to go along with it. not my first choice…but i like pizza….i’m sure i would enjoy it.

so, i said, not-so-politely, that if they now changed their minds for me and ordered something else, i would be really upset. putting the husband in a catch-22. he’s damned if he does and he’s damned if he doesn’t. i just don’t like the idea that if this was the plan…that they changed it for me. “oh…we have to have sushi because of Ali”. “Ali didn’t want pizza so we are stuck paying an arm and a leg for sushi…and i don’t even like sushi”. see…these are the reactions i don’t want. there are 5 other people eating…why should they change their plans for me?

am i completely and totally off my rocker…or are there other people out there who can commiserate with me??

nowΓƒβ€šΓ‚Β the husband’s upset with me. he’s all huffy and non-verbal…which is his fighting style. mine, my friends, is not. i don’t stop talking when i’m mad at him, i start yelling (a curse that i inherited from my mother) and i was to fight it out. not ignore each other and act like babies.

ah, good times, i tell you. good times πŸ™‚

i’ll update y’all in the morning…if i haven’t gone crazy and shaved my head first…

****so…all is good in the world, there was no head shaving for me. in a very diplomatic move, our friends got BOTH pizza and sushi, covering all their bases. see…those are true friends πŸ™‚

also…my kid is obsessed with blackberries. she is constantly on the phone “hi Noah!” the bow is there just because i got it to stay. i didn’t go as far as Anna and use Karo syrup to make it stick…but i’m getting quite annoyed with people who think she’s a boy. especially when she wears all pink.


  1. I am like you. I will go with the majority to avoid rocking the boat. I am also like you in the way I argue. I don’t ignore…I try to talk. When that doesn’t work, I yell. Does it solve anything? Not usually. But, I work off a boatload of steam AND take a moronic satisfaction knowing I shattered his ear drums!!

    Comment by Kellie on February 18, 2007
  2. I gotta have it my way lol. Please don’t do a britney lol

    Comment by Anne on February 18, 2007
  3. I knew I liked you. LOL I’m a yeller & act like a baby fighter too. Glad to know I’m not the only one. ha! I’m also like you on the food thing…I would have totally said what you did…and been upset that the hubby tried to get things changed JUST for me. BUT! I will say…although it would have irritated me too..if my hubby had done that…I would have also had to realize that he WAS trying to do something he THOUGHT would make ME happy. Sometimes they just don’t do it right though. LOL If only they were as smart as we are. *sigh*

    Comment by Anna on February 18, 2007
  4. Oh, and I just changed my e-mail address..so if you notice it’s different on there…that’s why. =)

    Comment by Anna on February 18, 2007
  5. Phew…if you ever shaved your head, I’d know you were absolutely certifiably insane. I mean, Brit has weaves, so, it might be good to start over…. But, not you. I can’t stop thinking about pizza now…. Mmmmm….I hope you’re not sleeping on the couch tonight….

    Comment by Haley-O on February 19, 2007
  6. Let’s hope he starts talking. My ex was a nonverbal fighter, I’d get so mad…start yelling for him to talk and asking if someone cut off his tongue! And PLEASE, don’t cut off the hair!

    Comment by Wendy on February 19, 2007
  7. Well, I am not a go with the flower, but I am not a have to have it my way person either. If you asked my family they would probably say that I am the latter. I just state my opinion. I would have done the same thing as you though. I’ll back you up girl!

    Comment by nicole on February 19, 2007
  8. Awkward. I hope it works out….

    Comment by anne/crazymumma on February 19, 2007
  9. We are just too much alike. πŸ™‚ I hate for anyone to change their plans for me. I will pretty much go along with anything, if it suits everyone else. On the other hand if Spence knows I don’t like something, he will just come out and say “mandi doesn’t like that” which makes me feel like a total tool. I yell too and want to talk about everything. Get it all out. Spence will just walk away or say he has nothing to say…which I hate.

    Comment by Mandi on February 19, 2007
  10. Whether or not I assert myself depends on who I’m with. There’s no rhyme or reason to my choices, it’s just the way I am.

    To make it worse I’m a libra. I constantly ride the fence.

    Comment by Kristi on February 19, 2007
  11. You are NOT off your rocker. I sooooooooo get this. I am the exact same way. You could have lived with pizza but I would have been mortified if someone spoke on my behalf and caused someone else to make special stuff when it wasn’t a big deal. I so get this.

    Comment by Sandra on February 19, 2007
  12. He was just looking out for you. But I understand about the ‘going with the flow’. Why make 5 people eat something else when you were the only one who didn’t want pizza but didn’t care?

    Did you wind up eating pizza?

    I hope you work it out!

    Comment by Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom on February 19, 2007
  13. I’m just like you. I’d rather the majority be happy than have everyone change for me. But then again, I don’t like having attention thrown upon myself, so maybe that’s part of the problem too.

    Comment by Jeff on February 19, 2007
  14. I love that big fat bow! Ha! Gorj. πŸ˜‰ And, yeah, that was SO cool of your friends….

    Comment by Haley-O on February 19, 2007
  15. Hmm, I’m more of the “I want it my way” sometimes and then “let’s compromise” the other times. I think it depends on the situation.

    Sushi sounds so good right about now! But not for another year or so. Boo hoo for me!

    Comment by Waya on February 19, 2007
  16. Oh she reminds me of my friends daughter…she is so taken with my pink Razr phone that she has foresaken calling me “Di” and now greets me with “phone”! If I don’t respond, she questions, “Toby?” looking for my dog!

    Comment by Di on February 19, 2007
  17. People thought that I was a boy with my ears pierced and wearing a pink dress so my mom says. People are just ignorant I think. She DEF. looks like a girl even withOUT the bow.

    Comment by nicole on February 20, 2007
  18. Great friends!!!!

    Comment by Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom on February 20, 2007
  19. I’m glad things resolved nicely – my husband is the opposite of yours and never stands up for me (he’s shy), which makes me mad sometimes.
    That drives me nuts when people see my completely pink-clad, dress-wearing toddler out and they PRESUME SHE’S A BOY.

    Comment by Rebecca on February 20, 2007
  20. Another way to think about it is this…if these people are your “friends for life,” they are not going to mind changing things up for you! It’s okay to have things done for you once in a while! Right?? I say tell your husband “thanks for speaking up for me even though I would have been okay with pizza…just don’t do that again!” πŸ™‚

    Comment by Tina on February 20, 2007
  21. She is so darling! And what an excellent taste in technology she has! πŸ˜‰

    Comment by Stacie on February 20, 2007

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