I’m drinking my free coffee from McDonald’s. and later I will be taking my mug to Starbucks to get another free coffee. (viva la earth day!)

I went to the jeans store with the intent to buy a pair of William Rasts and came out with two pairs of 7s. …and, wait for it, one pair is high-waisted. ohmigod, i know what you are thinking, because i was thinking the same thing. but while everyone else is getting lower and lower rises, i have a mommy-that-birthed-three-babies belly that never needs to see the light of day. you see, i am ANTI-MUFFIN TOP, and therefore, i am pro anything that makes me look hot without it. enter my new gingers. hey…if they are good enough for Rachel Bilson, they are good enough for me. because, seriously, she always looks good. except for that one time that she went out wearing those thermal pajamas and boots.

although now that i look at this picture i am realizing that i’d much rather be wearing this than the ensemble i am donning today, which includes my new pair of mary janes that my dog has already chewed the hell out of. can someone explain to me why Indiana only enjoys MY THINGS? my shoes. my clothes. my bras. my v-string. oh my god, my v-strings. it’s a good thing i rarely wear underwear because i am down to about 3 pairs that don’t have itty bitty indy-sized teeth marks all over them. ew.

I am officially in a fight with Rubbermaid.

I have been invited to a Gold Party. Have you ever heard of such a thing? I have never. but, long story short, it’s a tupperware party. except that you don’t have to buy anything (which, good, because, hello, PRESSURE. when i go to parties like that i end up coming home with some $400 machine that makes perfect tea and i’m all jazzed up about it and then my husband has to remind me that i don’t drink tea. and then i cry) and you actually walk out of the door with money which is a plus because hopefully i will trade in enough old bat mitzvah treasures to pay for that tea machine for the next party i’m in invited to.

I went to a taping of CityLine yesterday. Now, if you are not Canadian, I will tell you that going to CityLine is like going to Oprah!! only if you ARE Canadian, you will know that i am a big, fat liar.

because it’s totally not. but, even though it’s not ALL that exciting, AND they WERE talking about furnishing the outside of your home (and let’s face it, i can’t even afford to furnish the inside of my home), it was still ridiculous fun to watch from my front row seat (set your pvrs for next tuesday where you will see ME! make weird faces at the camera and fidget a lot! awesome) and because I am a total whore with zero shame, i totally forced myself upon Brian Gluckstein

(even though until 3 minutes before the show started, i had never heard of him) (Ilana, Melyssa, and Tova had to give me the 30-second version of CityLine for Dummies. good thing for me i’m a total winger, and made it look like I totally watch the show every day!)

I am slightly less disturbed by Return to Neverland than I am with the original Peter Pan. but I am still totally ready for missabella to be done with this whole peter pan stage. only, she’s taken to walking around saying “i’ll always believe in you Peter Pan” in this faux British accent that sounds way more Eastern European-ish. I’m doomed, aren’t I? She’s also taken to saying things like, “Mommy, i’m pretty sure i’m turning into a dolphin. i mean, look at my feet!” If I could bottle up this stage in her life and save it forever, i totally would. It’s THAT good.