July 30 13

So, I have this thing with birds.

It’s not, like, a clown-territory fear *shudder*, but there’s something about birds that makes me incredibly uneasy. Perhaps it’s because some birds have no boundaries when it comes to people. Thanks to people like, say, the bird lady in Mary Poppins, some birds have no problem getting dangerously close to your person. Personal space what?

Screen Shot 2013-07-30 at 9.19.10 AM

Tuppence a bag, NBD

And then there is that whole swooping business.


I MEAN. Nightmares.

But you guys. We discovered something on our trip. Isabella is kind of, well, ever-so-slightly obsessed with birds.

I should have known.


We took her to several museums, including the Natural History one, which we assumed would be the home-run winner for her, since DINOSAURS! and the butterfly exhibit, but Isabella loved the bird house at the National Zoo more than anything.

“I don’t like dinosaurs, Mama. Not even a little bit.”

What? Who is this kid? Who doesn’t like dinosaurs??

“But you loved Jurassic Park!”

“I did?”

“WAIT. Not even Dino?! Or, or, Yoshi? Or Barney for goodness sake?!”

“No. I like birds. Actually, I take it back, I love birds. More than anything. They are amazing.”

“It’s like I don’t even know you, Martell.”

Isabella-washington-birds copy

And then she told me everything she knows about birds. For hours. She talked about their beaks and their feathers and flight patterns and their diets. You guys, she used the word wattle. Either she has been secretly watching old Ally McBeal episodes, or this child has been researching birds. Researching birds.

“Maybe you should give birds another chance, Mama.”

“Well, I guess Big Bird isn’t all that bad. Or, you know, bird tattoos are kind of cool.”

So, maybe I should be giving birds another chance.


But probably not. Because SWOOP.

Screen Shot 2013-07-30 at 9.47.54 AM


  1. Listen, I love Belle-zilla like whoa but I cannot abide the bird love. Birds are dangerous creatures with no sense of boundaries. Especially hummingbirds. Those things are like tiny death machines with all their flitting around.

    I do love that she’s been researching them though, that is your child right there.

    Comment by Jen on July 30, 2013
  2. RIGHT?!?! Who is this kid?

    Comment by ali on July 30, 2013
  3. Birds are freaky as hell. Last fall I looked out my front window and there were about 50 black birds – not crows, I don’t know what they were – in my front yard. I COULD NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE OMG. Seagulls also – how gross are they? Like rats with wings.

    Comment by Nicole Boyhouse on July 30, 2013
  4. oh. my. damn.

    Comment by ali on July 30, 2013
  5. My grade six teacher was a huge Hitchcock fan and thought she would surprise us with a viewing of THE BIRDS. I’ve never been the same since. Keep her away from that film and she’ll keep wanting to fly!

    Comment by Louise on July 30, 2013
  6. In 6th grade?!??! TRAUMATIZING. omg.

    Comment by ali on July 30, 2013
  7. No. Just no. I hate birds. More than butterflies.

    Comment by Kristabella on July 30, 2013
  8. you hate butterflies? Did I tell you about the lady who SAT on one in the butterfly exhibit?

    Comment by ali on July 30, 2013
  9. Yes! And I never hated butterflies until I went to that weird butterfly room at the Chattanooga Zoo and they would land and crawl on you and I felt like I had them CRAWLING on me for DAYS!


    Comment by Kristabella on July 30, 2013
  10. Birds are awesome–good for Isabella! I took a class in college on birds (I know, right?) and we had to learn the birds not only by sight, but by their call. I had a tape (HA) of bird calls that I would have to study and my now-husband would laugh his ass off every time I listened to it.

    Comment by alison on July 30, 2013
  11. I also hate birds. There is a dead one on my deck right now. It’s been there a week and I can’t even get near it to get rid of it. Last night there must have been a bird funeral for it because several robins surrounded it in a half circle. I guess it’s time to provide a proper burial…

    Here’s some info that I heard once – birds are actually dinosaurs. Is it true? I am too lazy to google it.

    Comment by Jodi on July 31, 2013
  12. tumi ????? ??

    Comment by mulberry ????? on September 8, 2013
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