having a normal bedtime, like, say 7:00, was a milestone that for each of my kids, i certainly did not take lightly. it was one of the best, in my books. it was up there with first steps. seriously. i’m not kidding here. it was that transition from not having your nights to all of a sudden having evenings that are all to yourself. you can watch tv without a baby crying! you can read a book without having to breastfeed a baby at the same time! you can go to the bathroom! you can RELAX.

because of this, i’ve sort of adopted this philosophy with my husband. if you aren’t going to come home before bedtime, when i really need you, i don’t care when you come home. this might sound…i don’t know..kinda harsh, but i assure you, it’s not. think about it. if he’s not going to be home during that crunch time between school and bed when the kids are cranky, exhausted, insane; if he’s not going to come home to help with dinnertime, or bedtime, then there’s no reason to rush home.  

also, i’m SO not the kind of wife to begrudge him his time. his time with his friends. his hockey time. the meetings for all the committees that he’s on. i don’t mind when he’s out at night, usually, in fact, i enjoy it. My friend Orah and i were just discussing yesterday how nice it is sometimes to just put on pajamas and veg out in front of the tv. eat when you want. watch what you want. it’s actually kinda nice.

except last night, i really needed him. it started out great. i crawled into bed at 7:15, watched the OC and then Grey’s Anatomy. curled up with Love in the Time of Cholera (which has been on my to-read list for far too long). and then at 10:30, i turned off the light to go to sleep.

and there is was. the coughing. the crying. the gagging. it was yet another night of Joshie coughing himself into a stupor. he was scared and shaking and he. couldn’t. stop. coughing. so, i was scared and shaking, too. I couldn’t calm him down. and i couldn’t really calm myself down either. we were a great pair, the two of us.

now, normally, when the husband’s out, i don’t call him. i’m not one of those wives. (i’m the kind who sends him nudies of myself while he’s out at a bachelor party. yes, i’m the goods 🙂 ) but last night i called. i wanted him home. i wanted his help. i wanted his company. i wanted to sleep.

it’s been 5 days since i’ve slept. and i could really use it.

speaking of Grey’s Anatomy…

~could i heart Bailey any more? seriously, this woman can do no wrong. i hearted her yelling at the chief for not telling her about his retirement. and when she brought the four childish attendings down to size. and when she said, “Izzy Stevens!” Bailey’s going to make a great chief 🙂

~can’t say i was expecting either proposal. Burke sure wins in his delivery. wow. it was amazing. what thinks you? who says yes? who says no?

~while i appreciate the Alex and Addison non-pairing, it’s painfully obvious that Alex is lying through his teeth. he’s hot for Addy.

~and it wouldn’t be grey’s if i didn’t end up in tears by the 42 minute. The Amish girls? George and Izzy’s hug? weeping, i was. i cried more than when George’s dad died.

~best scene of the night? the four attending sitting on the floor. how very time-outy of them 🙂 also? the dinner party where Cristina was eating cereal off to the side? classic!

~we all knew the money was coming from Izzy. but, the gesture was sweet just the same.