August 3 10

We have this box. It’s purple. It might even have Winnie the Pooh on it, but I’m really not 100% sure. I have no idea how it became THE box, but at some point early in our marriage it became the place to put everything important. Social Security cards, birth certificates, ultrasound pictures, Nexus cards. And in a sea of Canadian passports…sits one crucial one.

My American one.

It’s a simple document, really, containing some stamps from not-all-that-exciting lands and a heinous photo of me.

Because you wanna know what I look like when some pimple-faced teen photographer tells me NOT to smile? I LOOK LIKE MR. BEAN, that’s who.

So, yes, after trips my passport gets put in the special purple box.

Unless it doesn’t.

Which is almost every time.

“Did you put your passport in the box?”


“Are you lying?”


“Can you do it?”

“That’s what she said.”


“Yes. I can do it right now. Just give me one second.”

And that’s when one second turns into one week and then one month.

And that’s how it gets to be 7am on a Sunday morning and you are inside a packed minivan and you are tearing all of your bags apart searching for your missing passport. That’s how it gets to be hours before you plan to cross the border at Sarnia and you are doing the ugly cry into your coffee outside of a McDonald’s. That’s how it gets to be 4 days before you need to fly into LaGuardia airport for BlogHer ’10 and you are forcing people like her to search the internet for “dumbass passportless dual citizens traveling in a way other than by land or by sea” because, dudes, according to the internet, if I was taking a boat to BlogHer, I’d be aces.

Well, as it turns out, sometimes the people who work at immigration are lovely. Sometimes they ask you simple, easy-to-answer questions. Sometimes they don’t give you a hard time about not having a passport. Sometimes they smile at you and send you on your merry way.

And sometimes your husband looks inside the bag that you turned inside-out 17 times and FINDS YOUR PASSPORT, OMG.

Viva la LaGuardia tomorrow! My Mr. Bean face and I are NYC-bound!

And now I am off to put my passport in the box.

Just as soon as I find some clothing under all the piles of unpacked stuff…

  1. Thank goodness your passport was found. ohmygosh!

    Comment by jennifer on August 3, 2010
  2. Oh yay!

    Also, she isn’t lying about that conversation. I witnessed it on Saturday night when she said of course she had her passport!

    Comment by Kristabella on August 3, 2010
  3. thank god there was a witness … otherwise ..

    Comment by jennifer on August 3, 2010
  4. What’s with you Canadians and losing your passports? Mr. Lady last year, you this year. It’s an epidemic.

    Comment by Avitable on August 3, 2010

    Comment by Angie Pangie on August 3, 2010
  6. Yay! See you in TWO DAYS!

    Comment by Amy on August 3, 2010
  7. I was going to leave some witty reply… But I got distracted. *Squirrel!*

    Comment by Matthew on August 3, 2010
  8. I’m SO GLAD you found it.

    I’m SO SAD I won’t be seeing you in New York.

    Comment by Meghan on August 3, 2010
  9. haha, the whole time i was reading this i was like, “OH, i’m so happy i’m not the only person to do this!”

    i went to the Dominican last year and only had my driver’s licence as my ID and the day before we went to leave, i thought i lost it. i did the ugly cry in front of my then roommate thinking i wouldn’t be able to get back to canada. he found it for me, in the safe where i left it, where i checked for it, SEVEN times. yeah.

    but yay you found it! 🙂

    Comment by Shannon on August 3, 2010
  10. I was born and raised in Sarnia!

    Comment by Becca on August 5, 2010
  11. […] to get into the US without a passport?” I knew I’d be listening to my husband making lost passport jokes. And then making some […]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » Restoration. on February 14, 2011
  12. […] hope and pray for the best. The last time we did this the only real snag was because of ME and my unfortunate habit of never knowing where in the sam hell my passport is. To make sure this doesn’t happen this time around, I have procured one of those passport […]

    Pingback by Cheaper Than Therapy » Blog Archive » Seven Cents, Vern? on April 8, 2011

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