March 1 12

My name is Ali and I have a problem.

I am way too emotionally attached to fictional characters.

It’s true. 

And it’s bad, you guys.

I need, like, an intervention.

Also, do not get me started on what happened this week…when I casually started flipping the channels and pregnant paused on The Young and the Restless and couldn’t keep going. The pregnant pause turned into an hour parked in front of my television screen. OFF THE GODDAMN WAGON. I had given up my love for the soap about a year ago and swore that I’d never go back—the show was too crazy, too over-the-top, too much of a time-waster, and mostly, it just made me too angry. When you find yourself yelling at a soap opera character…that’s when you know you really have a problem.

But I guess there are worse things. I don’t really drink and I don’t drink diet coke. I have to have something, people.


So. Well, Now that I got that off of my chest, there are a few things we need to talk about.

Thing #1: Amber Holt. Okay. I don’t remember when I first started liking, nay, loving Amber Holt. Sure, Mae Whitman is not the Rory Gilmore to Lauren Graham’s Lorelai Gilmore, but she is kind of an amazing and believable character, possibly one of my favorites on television right now. It took a while for her to grow on me, and it may have something to do with her somewhat unfortunate wardrobe choices and her somewhat questionable hairstyle decisions, but she is awesome.



Despite this obvious character flaw, I have grown to love her.

Also, she knits. Also, she is a really good crier.

But you know her cousin Haddie? I kind of want to punch her in the face.

Because, so, I know I am probably the only one on earth, but I was kind of digging Amber’s budding relationship with her boss and politician Bob Little. Probably because I am a fan of relationships that should not ever happen ever. Probably because I am a fan of Jonathan Tucker (THE BLACK DONNELLYS 4EVA!). Probably because it was the first time I saw Amber really and truly happy—their banter was adorable—and it was lovely to see someone with some actual chemistry because her mother Sarah and John Ritter’s son kind of have little-to-no chemistry. At best. Maybe it’s because he’s not Luke Danes and he doesn’t live in Stars Hollow.

(Sidebar: John Ritter’s son and Tom Hanks’ son will forever be John Ritter’s son and Tom Hanks’ son. I cannot help it.)

So, obviously, just as things are going to be all romantical and lovely for Amber, her stupid cousin has to be all, “Amber! You are going to Sacramento with your boss and you are taking the stripper shoes?!?!? How could you! Let me go and run to my mom and call her mama and then totally rat you, my cousin, out!” What the hell, Haddie? No one likes a shit disturber. And seriously…it’s not like Haddie has been the best at that small thing called MAKING GOOD DECISIONS. Also, how could any of Amber’s wardrobe choices surprise Haddie? I mean, REALLY. Did the red hat tell you nothing, cousin?

And don’t think I don’t take issue with Whiney Kristina here either. FINE. Bob’s a politician. Fine. He’s Amber’s boss. Fine. He’s also Kristina’s boss. Fine. He’s significantly older than Amber. Fine. I get these things. But Kristina went and hopped in her car and jet-setted to Sacramento (while leaving, you know, her baby who was ever-so-conveniently not in the scene…) to break this up? Really, Kristina? Why didn’t you, you know, all Amber’s mother?

Enraged, I am.

Thing #2: Dan and Blair

I am a fan of this.

I know that you are not.

I don’t care.

Thing #3: Johnny Keyser

Okay, American Idol, here’s the deal. I watched Hollywood round, even though you aired an entire episode that may as well have been called Contagion 2.0 because there was not a single bit of singing in it…but rather had a tremendous amount of someone screaming, “DO YOU LIKE COPS?” and an excessive amount to vomit. But still, I watched. Because you promised me the best season yet and there was hope for some singing in the future because you know, you are a singing show. And, well, there was Johnny Keyser.

Until you decided to make extra cuts after you already made some cuts, sending home people like Colton Dixon’s sister, which, WHAT? 

And in the final 3 minutes of the show, you had Ryan Seacrest’s voiceover tell us that we also said goodbye to Johnny Keyser.



Because he was a fan of hot tubs? Because he didn’t get the Idol Stomach Flu? Because he needed some dress shields for his audition? Shenanigans!

And then, Idol, you went and teased us. You added a SURPRISE! twist to the game by telling us you were bringing back a 13th boy to add to the mix…would it be the gentle giant? Would it be the cowboy? Would it be Mr. Steal your Girl? Would it be JOHNNY KEYSER?

And, to no one’s surprise at all, The Gentle Giant was brought back to sing a horrible song and to probably go home tonight.

Well played, American Idol, well played. 


Please tell me that I’m not the only one who sometimes YELLS AT HER TELEVISION.


Please tell me I’m not the only one who is way too emotionally attached to fictional characters.

  1. I just had to Google “Amber Holt.” Clearly, I have attachment issues to different characters. The one I can think of right now is Officer Ben Sherman on Southland. I heart him. A lot.

    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on March 1, 2012
  2. I am so sad for you that you don’t watch Parenthood.
    Almost as sad as I am that you don’t watch The Wire.


    Comment by ali on March 1, 2012
  3. Oh, god, I am with you. Love Parenthood, agree on so many counts (what is up with the awkward relationship between Lorelai and that guy? Did not realize he was a Ritter, explains a lot. Zero heat. Her son and his girlfriend have more steam.) Yes, Black Donnellys, yes, Luke Danes, yes, yes! And I totally want to see Dan and Blair have a hot, steamy AND intellectual relationship. All books and foreign films and inexplicable chemistry YES I DO. ; )
    Do you follow Mae Whitman on Twitter?

    Comment by Jen @littlemissmocha on March 1, 2012

    No. What’s her @?

    Comment by ali on March 1, 2012
  5. @maebirdwing ; )

    Comment by Jen @littlemissmocha on March 1, 2012
  6. AND Hattie’s hair, while we’re on the subject…I can deal with Amber’s hair, because of her character. My husband and I have weekly conversations about the awfulness.

    Also can we talk about the awkward cadence of the Braverman family conversations?

    Comment by cristan on March 1, 2012

    I KNOW.

    She needs to stop judging her cousin, yanno?

    Comment by ali on March 1, 2012
  8. “No one likes a shit disturber.” My new mantra. For when I veer towards over-involvement. When I grow up, I want to write like you. Wait, I’m 37 already? Damn. It’s not too late, right?

    Comment by Amy on March 1, 2012
  9. I need to start watching Parenthood. It’s been on in the background the last few weeks after I’ve finished watching something else and I get sucked in. Even though I don’t know any of these people.

    Also, I was watching Gossip Girl on the treadmill this week, reading the captions, and I may have squealed out loud in public over Dan and Blair!

    But then again I also yelped out loud while on the elliptical when Jason Street decided to go overboard on the booze cruise on their trip to Mexico.

    Hmmm, that must be why people look at me funny at the gym, huh?

    Comment by Kristabella on March 1, 2012
  10. I’m sad that you don’t watch Parenthood.

    BUT…so happy about the rest of this comment 🙂

    Comment by ali on March 1, 2012
  11. I adore Amber! Your post just reminded me that I have a few Parenthood episodes to catch up on this weekend.

    Comment by Danielle on March 1, 2012
  12. Additional thought re: Haddie – when she was a Jr in HS she was dating a pretty recently homeless alcoholic! Amber at least is an adult!

    Also Peter Krause will forever be Nate Fisher from Six Feet Under to me, and I keep waiting for Adam to moodily drive off and catch some waves or smoke a bowl with Crosby.

    Comment by cristan on March 1, 2012
  13. TOTALLY Nate Fischer. Totally.

    Comment by ali on March 1, 2012
  14. I too am more sad than I’d like to admit about Bob and Amber not happening.

    Comment by Megan on March 1, 2012
  15. Several things:
    1. I’m so furiously nodding my head with you that I can barely form words.
    2. JONATHAN TUCKER! Let’s start a petition to bring back the Donnellys.
    3. God I love Amber Holt, she is just the best.
    4. I hereby declare that you must stay off the wagon with Y&R, we can have daily/weekly discussions.

    Comment by Jen on March 1, 2012
  16. When I was in junior high I cried, inconsolably, when Todd broke up with Elizabeth. My parents thought I had gone over the deep end. And, yes, I’m talking Sweet Valley High here.

    Comment by Martha on March 1, 2012
  17. I am a massive Y&R dork. It’s something me, my mum and my sister all watch so it’s fun to discuss it with them.

    I keep meaning to watch Parenthood because of all the good things I hear about it, but I’ve got too many PVRed Y&R episodes to catch up on. 🙂

    Comment by Melissa on March 1, 2012
  18. Totally agree. I was almost as sad for Amber when she ended it with Bob as I was for Julia losing the baby. Almost.

    Comment by Jen on March 1, 2012
  19. I LOVE Parenthood!! I’ve introduced my husband to the show so that we can have a complete debrief session after each episode. I think he is starting to become as emotionally as attached as I am…..on the episode that ended with Death Cab’s Transatlanticism playing over the dramatic ending he commented “wow, this emo music really gets to a person, eh?”. Yeah, yeah – blame the music! Ha!

    The best laugh from last week came from Max suggesting the bowl of salsa!!

    Comment by Miranda on March 1, 2012
  20. Sarah is ONLY allowed to have chemistry with Seth (aka Aidan aka United States of Tara husband) so says I. Besides, I think John Ritter’s son (charming as he may be) might have too many teeth. If not then they are definitely too big!

    Comment by Louise on March 1, 2012
  21. Love, Love Parenthood…only show that tops it is Mad Men. Oh, how I can’t wait for it to be back!

    I too love the Amber/Bob situation, 8 yrs isn’t too bad. That little Hattie is a bi%@h! I am kind of hating that branch of the Bravermen family. Adam annoys me, “I’m such a good guy, always do the right thing”. And then there is “goody good Kristina…blah!

    I also love Don and hate Betty, so go figure…maybe I am a horrible judge of character!

    Comment by Tara on March 1, 2012
  22. Movies or tv? Nah. Books? YES! I often try to read and read (though I’m not nearly as fast as you, Ali) to get the characters and the story out of me. Example? Glass Castle. I didn’t like it but I had to see them leave Welch. Ugh.

    Comment by Heather on March 2, 2012
  23. I am totally with you on everything that you wrote about Parenthood. I love love LOVE that show! It’s pretty much the only one I watch on tv, so I don’t know what you were referring to with your other comments, sorry. I couldn’t believe that Hattie told her mom about Amber’s clothes and that Kristina drove all the way there to interupt them. WTF, who DOES that?? Anyway. Can i also say that I find Max super annoying? Is it just me?
    Love your blog, by the way!

    Comment by Cindy on March 2, 2012
  24. Oh good grief woman. No. Not just you. Not in the least. I do it. My mom does it. Heck, even my girls get attached to TV characters. We all yell at the TV.

    Comment by Issa on March 2, 2012
  25. I LOOOOOOVE Blair and Dan, too!!! I was thinking about that this morning actually, and how Blair has way more things in common than Serena does with Dan. Plus, I hate the fact that she was playing hard to get, and kind of played with both Dan and Nate (grrrr `-‘).

    I’m a TV sucker, and I’m not ashamed to say it (hihihih). I watch toooooons of TV series, and like you, usually get emotionally attached with some of the characters (ie. Karev from Greys Anatomy, Cam from Modern Family, and if I continue won’t stop… heheheh).

    Great idea of a post! I’m glad I’m not the only one that loves fictional characters, hihihihi.

    Comment by MaJo_BV on March 3, 2012
  26. I am with you. I hated when not only Hattie told her mom and then Christina went there? Crazy. They should be together. They were cute. I’m still hoping they get together eventually.
    Also, the whole adopted baby thing was wierd and disappointing when it didn’t work out. Who adopts a baby from someone and lets them live with them first? That didn’t make any sense, and I really wanted them to get the baby anyway.

    Comment by Taryn on March 4, 2012
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