Thanks to all my friends who sent me such important emails in 2004!
It’s so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform!
Because of all of you I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out
from you that it’s good for removing toilet stains.
I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle Infected
with a disease.
I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant. Because
you said it causes cancer.
I don’t leave my car in any parking lot even though I Sometimes have to
walk about seven blocks, because you said that someone might drug me
with a perfume sample and then try to rob me.
I also stopped answering the phone because you said that they Will ask
me to dial a stupid number and then I get a high phone bill with calls
to Uganda, Singapore, Tokyo and maybe the Mars Rover.
I stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because you told me They are
nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or Feathers that
are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
I also stopped drinking anything out of a can – you said that I will get
sick from the rat feces and urine.
When I go to parties, I now don’t mix with anybody – you said that
someone will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a Bathtub full
of ice.
However, the police are also after me at present because you Said not to
pull over as they could be fake policemen trying to kidnap me.
I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, in Anticipation of the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I
participated in their special e-mail program.
It’s weird, though, that my new free cell phone never arrived, and
neither did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland.
But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or
forgot to follow and I got a curse.
OOPS I ALMOST FORGOT, IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next ten
seconds, a bird will crap on you tonight at 7:00 PM.
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