I do not have a clue what is going on the internet. I haven’t been on twitter. I haven’t been on skype. I haven’t read any blogs. I haven’t shopped. I haven’t worked. I haven’t played Friends with Words. I haven’t picked up the book I am reading. I haven’t heard any gossip. I haven’t had any text fests. I have no idea what slynnro is wearing today.

I am very removed. So, you know, there’s lots that I don’t know.

BUT, there’s lots that I do.

I know that my 1950s vintage glasses frames are as awesome as I’d hoped they would be.

I know that TRUMP: The Game is the very worst game to ever be made. We found it in the basement, and somehow was coerced into playing it with the husband and the brother and the Rachel, but, you know, my brother hated The Royal Tannenbaums, so his opinions are officially questionable.

I know that it’s a lot harder to cheat when you are on an actual pilates machine instead of doing winsor pilates in the comfort of your own bedroom.

I know that hearing, “but, mommy, I just wanted to be like Violet Bauregarde and keep my gum behind my ear” is a sentence that will end in said mommy using a pair of giant scissors on a boy’s hair.

I know that if my dog poops in the house one more bloody time, the gloves are coming off.

I know that the holidays are not the same without my sister being here.

I know that THIS is a look I could never pull off.

I know that Target opens at 7am the day after Christmas.

I know that you can, in fact, overdose on the following desserts: Carnegie Deli cheesecake, homemade peanut butter cups, red velvet mini cupcakes, key lime pie, pumpkin pie, white chocolate mousse cake and 150 pounds of red and green peanut M&ms.

I know that my grammy is in there, somewhere. She cried when I asked if she knew who I was. and she said, “Yes. I should know.” and then I cried.

I know that present opening for kids and their cousins is a magical – albeit super messy – experience.

I know that watching my dad’s IMAX experience DVDs are still pretty friggin’ cool, even if they aren’t being watched on an IMAX.

I know that I am in love with my AG jean leggings, even if they DO look a little bit like maternity jeans. elastic waistband, FTW!

I know that my dad’s pants with holly embroidered on them are just cheesy enough to be kind of, a little bit awesome.

I know that my kids are ridiculously awesome people, even if they are grumpy sometimes, and defiant sometimes, and kvetchy sometimes. And even if some people like to armchair diagnose some of them with such things as oppositional defiant disorder (which he does not have) and ADHD (which, again, he does not have) but thanks for the unsolicited advice.

and I don’t know about you, but I know that I am ready for 2010. There was too much crap in 2009, and I am ready for all of our luck to change and for 2010 to be nothing but ridiculously happy for ALL OF US.