ME: Good Morning, fine establishment that serves me delicious coffee. May I please have a large coffee with one milk and one splenda, please?
ME: Fantastic. Here’s my $20 bill for said $1.58 coffee. Since you don’t take VISA or DEBIT and this is what I’ve got, I assume you will get to making my some change tout suite.
HER: I can’t take this.
ME: WHA? I am shocked. I actually don’t even understand.
HER: Well, three people in front of you gave me 20s and I don’t have any change.
ME: Well, that’s because every single retail establishment in the free world takes credit and/or debit…so, really, no one on the planet carries around cash anymore and you are pretty lucky that I even have this $20 bill on me.
HER: Are you sure you don’t have any change?
(as I dump my wallet coin purse out onto the counter.
ME: I have exactly eleven cents and a subway token.
HER: That’s not enough.
(as I take a big gulp of my coffee…so she can’t take it back)
(as I burn my tongue.)
ME: Take it or leave it. You are technically getting a way better deal, since a subway token is worth $3.00 and so I am paying you $3.11 for a coffee that costs $1.58
ME: So, you probably should throw in a donut, and maybe one of those delicious looking pumpkin muffins.
ME: I’m just going to take my burnt tongue and leave.
ME: Have a good day. Enjoy the subway ride.