December 11 12

I was all set to write about something obviously really important but then Twitter derailed my entire day as I shockingly discovered that two people who I love to bits and pieces have never seen The Princess Bride. It all started innocently enough—with me explaining how Mandy Patinkin and I could easily be best friends. I mean, you can totally see it, right? Dude sings in Yiddish—my Bubbie would be so proud. And then the truth came out—Who is Mandy Patinkin? Who is Inigo Montoya? Who’s preparing to die? WHAT?


My pop culture brain is not cut out for this kind of information before 10am.

But, well, in the interest of being honest, I guess now is as good a time as any to let you know that, well, I absolutely loathed the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Honestly, it took me over three years to get through it. So, wanna guess how excited I am to see The Hobbit? EXACTLY ZERO PERCENT. I will probably take my kids to see it, since they are super pumped about it, but I will look at it as merely an opportunity to have a much-needed nap (Hello, I’m Ali and I’m geriatric) and to have myself a popcorn dinner.

You know what else I have absolutely negative interest in seeing? Any James Bond movie that doesn’t star Sean Connery. So, I have been known to enjoy a good action movie (although I will likely never choose one over something art-y) but after seeing a few of the Pierce Brosnan Bond films, I was all, “WHY DO PEOPLE EVEN LIKE THESE?” and then—because I suffer from a really obsessive personality—I downloaded every single James Bond movie that featured Sean Connery and I absolutely fell in love. And kind of fell in total non-interest with any of the other ones. I mean, I’ll see them even though I really don’t even find Daniel Craig remotely attractive (unless he’s running) and don’t enjoy them much. But again…popcorn dinner. (I *can* be easily bought.)

Sean Connery > Daniel Craig > Pierce Brosnan

I didn’t see Braveheart until, um, 2010.

I didn’t watch a single episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer until 2011.

I didn’t watch The Walking Dead or any of the Alien movies until 2012.


See? Everyone’s got pop culture blind spots. Even ME.

I have never seen the A-Team.

I have never seen Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I have never seen Blazing Saddles.

I have never seen Singing in the Rain.

I have never seen Citizen Kane.

I have never seen On Golden Pond.

I have never seen The Graduate.

I have never seen The Soup or Tosh.0.

I have never seen Happy Endings.

I have never seen MASH.

I have never seen Veronica Mars.

I have never seen The X-Files.

I have never seen American Horror Story.

I have never seen America’s Got Talent.

I have never seen It’s a Wonderful Life. (I KNOW.)

I have never seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I have never seen CSI: any city. Or any other similar acronym shows.

What about YOU? What have you not seen?

  1. I said “what if!” WHAT IF!!!! *read that in a George Costanza voice*

    Comment by Sharon on December 11, 2012
  2. Why’d you say “What if?”
    I panicked.

    See? I get the Monty Python references too.

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  3. LOL! So yeah, guilty, never seen the entire Princess Bride movie…

    But I know who Mandy is because suddenly Homeland is my most favourite show EVER!

    Know who shocks me? My sister. My own BLOOD has not seen: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Scarface, Godfather I, II, or III, Goodfellas, or Casino. I almost want to not tell people we’re sister anymore!

    Also, Curb Your Enthusiasm is AMAZINGLY funny.

    Comment by Loukia on December 11, 2012
  4. WHA? You may need to force her to see some of those (or all of them)

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  5. alimartell.

    We’d be twins if you weren’t 1/2 my size and if you watched The Soup and Tosh.0.

    Comment by Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] on December 11, 2012
  6. I *would* watch them…I just haven’t. I don’t think I get the channel that they are on.

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  7. YOU’VE NEVER SEEN ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW???? You’ve never thrown toast at a movie screen or tossed rice in the air? I can’t believe this.

    Comment by Louise on December 11, 2012
  8. I actually know all of the songs…but I have never seen the movie. Or the live show. I KNOW!!

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  9. I’ve seen Citizen Kane and Singing in the Rain, but only because I took a film class in college. I also hated the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and only THIS YEAR did I watch any of the Star Wars movies.

    Comment by Megan @ Mama Bub on December 11, 2012
  10. I’ve never seen Cool Hand Luke… I NEED to ask you this: Have you seen & read Valley of the Dolls? If not, you need to do this today, before you do anything else. From what I understand about Bond films, they are supposed to be cheesy, that is the appeal. I quite like Pierce as Bond… ALSO: Curb your Enthusiasm? Hello Ali? Seinfeld!!!!! I own the first three seasons, come on over.

    Comment by Sandy on December 11, 2012
  11. I have not seen or read Valley of the Dolls!

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  12. Homeland (not for lack of trying, but DirectTV is trying to kill me right now.) Breaking Dead. Twilight. The Office. LOST. Glee. Probably any movie that people have seen in the last five years and loved.

    I do know who Mandy is though, because he was on the first few seasons of Criminal Minds and I was sad when he left.

    Comment by Issa on December 11, 2012
  13. Some of those are really worth watching. REALLY.

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  14. I agree about the Lord of the Rings. My husband and I were talking about movies coming out soon that we need to see, and he mentioned The Hobbit. I suggested he plan a night out with his friends for that one. I already squandered 10 hours of my life watching the trilogy and I’m done.

    I’ve never seen: Ghost, The Sound of Music, Die Hard, or any reality/contest type shows.

    Comment by Danielle on December 11, 2012
  15. That’s the thing…the trilogy was sooooo long and drawn out. and now they are making three entire movies from one small Hobbit book? NO THANKS!

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  16. I’ve never seen Godfather. I’ve never seen Gone with the Wind. I’ve never even had a DESIRE to watch any of the Lord of the Rings movies.

    I’m just watching West Wing NOW.

    Comment by Kristabella on December 11, 2012
  17. You really should see The Godfather. and the second one. They truly are epic. and I know you’d like them.

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  18. just reassure me by telling me that you’ve at least seen “Bridges of Madison County”

    Comment by Louise on December 11, 2012
  19. I have seen it.

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  20. Ali. Happy endings and It’s a Wonderful Life. Watch. Please. Seriously.

    For me, the series everyone gasps about when I tell them I have not seen it…Buffy the Vampire Slayer. One day. In my world, there is no such thing as too much tv 😉

    Comment by Gwen on December 11, 2012
  21. I know, I know, I KNOW. trust me.

    I only recently started watching Buffy and I’m still only on season 4…not loving it.

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  22. I’ve seen at least part of every movie on your list and, trust me, some are not worth the fret. I’ve never seen The Big Lebowski or ANY of the Lord of the Rings movies. My kids laugh at me for my lameness.

    Comment by Sarah Farrington Owens on December 11, 2012
  23. Love Lebowski. I quote it on a semi-regular basis.

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  24. I have never seen the movies ET or Titanic.

    Comment by LizP on December 11, 2012
  25. You need to see ET! 🙂

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  26. When ET came out it was one of the first movies I remember that had tie-in marketing from fast food and every other avenue. It was so pervasive that I was sick of the marketing before I ever realised the movie was out. But now that I have kids I may be forced to watch it.

    Comment by LizP on December 12, 2012
  27. shut.the.front.door. Here I’ve been all thinking we are long lost best friends that live thousands of miles away from each other and in a totally non-awkward way only one of us knows about the friendship… I am heartbroken. Please watch It’s A Wonderful Life and Singin’ In the Rain, so our friendship can be restored. Then move to Oklahoma.

    No big deal, right?

    Comment by Sneaker on December 11, 2012
  28. Oh, I know I will love both of them…I have just never seen them. I promise it’ll happen asap!

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  29. No Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, or Lost for me.

    No interest in The Hobbit. None.

    I cannot believe someone missed ET. WHAT??

    Comment by Alison on December 11, 2012
  30. I only watched the first season of was all I could handle!

    Comment by ali on December 11, 2012
  31. I OWN Blazing Saddles and I’ve still never seen it. Same with The Blues Brothers.

    Comment by fadkog on December 11, 2012
  32. WHAT?

    We need to remedy this “Blazing Saddles” issue stat. (I think it says a lot about me that THIS was the movie I took issue with you not seeing.)

    Also, let’s not talk about my list ok? It’s embarrassing.

    Comment by Jen on December 11, 2012
  33. I have never seen any of the Godfather movies. I have never seen Grey’s Anatomy. Or Dexter. Or Rescue Me. Or Glee.
    I KNOW!

    Comment by Sarahviz on December 12, 2012
  34. I have never watched an episode of Friends. Or Glee. Or any of the awsesome HBO or other cable shows that are out now. I do however, enjoy some acronum shows.

    I resisted It’s A Wonderful Life for many years. But finally gave in and watched. It’s really good. We watch it every year.

    Comment by monstergirlee on December 15, 2012
  35. “Acronym” Sorry.

    Comment by monstergirlee on December 15, 2012

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