It’s Hanukkah around here which means exactly one very important thing: bring on the fried foods!

No really.

Go ahead. You can google it. I will wait. Just be careful what source you are using, because googling can, in fact, backfire right in your face.

Case it point:

Emily: Hey guess what, Mama? A pregnant fish is called a twat!

Me {DEAD}: OMG Emily, stop using yahoo answers as a legitimate source.

So, go ahead and google at your own expense. What you will find is that it’s all about oil, you see. A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, some evil people were persecuting Jews (Yes. It’s a theme in our religion…) By a small, small miracle, a small groups of awesome people (The Maccabees!!) defeated one of the largest armies ever. And then when they went to light their menorah in the temple, they had but a wee amount of oil…BUT, THEN A MIRACLE HAPPENED and the tiny bit of oil lasted for an entire eight days.

So, we celebrate this awesomeness and we celebrate with delicious foods that are fried—doughnuts and latkes, specifically. So, you know, we Jews are big on the symbolism and while some of it is really kind of mostly disgusting (some people eat fish heads on the Jewish New Year of Rosh Hashanah because…get it? The HEAD OF THE YEAR?! oh. my. damn.) some of it is exceptionally delicious (We have holidays like Shavuot, where we are basically COMMANDED to eat dairy products for two days straight. I kid you not. Bring on the blintzes and the cheesecakes and the cheeeeeese!)

The doughnuts, traditionally, are jelly-filled and the latkes, traditionally, are potato but because Jews are an awesome people generally and my husband is an excellent chef, last year we had homemade salted caramel-filled doughnuts and sweet potato latkes.

I heard a rumor that this week *someone* is frying up some cream-cheese icing-filled pumpkin doughnuts.

(That someone is not me.)

Our door is always open, by the by.

This holiday is a fan favorite around here—even though the preteen bershon might indicate otherwise.

We lit our menorahs, we sang some songs, we filled them chock full of powdery doughnuts, we gambled with dreidels for a chocolate gelt payoff, we displayed our kick-ass homemade menorahs (yay Hebrew school!)

And then we sent them on a scavenger hunt. And in true Survivor style, it included a puzzle at the end. We had to make ’em work for it, you know.

…and then there was a SQUUUUUUEEEEEEEE!

…and then there was a “Dude! This is the BEST gift!

…and then there was a “You are the worst parents ever.”

Apparently, the Maroon 5 and Owl City tickets were well received by exactly 2/3 of the Martell children. She’s still crying about it. Two days later. It seems she doesn’t like to move like Jagger all that much. Or she’s annoyed that she didn’t have a dollar-store trinket to UNWRAP. She wanted a tangible gift, even if it was, like, soap on a rope. Second graders, man.

So, if you’re not busy this February we may have an extra ticket…

Happy Hanukkah, internet.

Or Happy Chanukah, if you are so inclined.

That’s the beauty of this holiday! Spell it how you want! It’s all good! It’s a celebration, after all! Just bring on some more fried foods!