December 10 12

It’s Hanukkah around here which means exactly one very important thing: bring on the fried foods!

No really.

Go ahead. You can google it. I will wait. Just be careful what source you are using, because googling can, in fact, backfire right in your face.

Case it point:

Emily: Hey guess what, Mama? A pregnant fish is called a twat!

Me {DEAD}: OMG Emily, stop using yahoo answers as a legitimate source.

So, go ahead and google at your own expense. What you will find is that it’s all about oil, you see. A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, some evil people were persecuting Jews (Yes. It’s a theme in our religion…) By a small, small miracle, a small groups of awesome people (The Maccabees!!) defeated one of the largest armies ever. And then when they went to light their menorah in the temple, they had but a wee amount of oil…BUT, THEN A MIRACLE HAPPENED and the tiny bit of oil lasted for an entire eight days.

So, we celebrate this awesomeness and we celebrate with delicious foods that are fried—doughnuts and latkes, specifically. So, you know, we Jews are big on the symbolism and while some of it is really kind of mostly disgusting (some people eat fish heads on the Jewish New Year of Rosh Hashanah because…get it? The HEAD OF THE YEAR?! oh. my. damn.) some of it is exceptionally delicious (We have holidays like Shavuot, where we are basically COMMANDED to eat dairy products for two days straight. I kid you not. Bring on the blintzes and the cheesecakes and the cheeeeeese!)

The doughnuts, traditionally, are jelly-filled and the latkes, traditionally, are potato but because Jews are an awesome people generally and my husband is an excellent chef, last year we had homemade salted caramel-filled doughnuts and sweet potato latkes.

I heard a rumor that this week *someone* is frying up some cream-cheese icing-filled pumpkin doughnuts.

(That someone is not me.)

Our door is always open, by the by.

This holiday is a fan favorite around here—even though the preteen bershon might indicate otherwise.

Happy Hanukkah from the Martells

We lit our menorahs, we sang some songs, we filled them chock full of powdery doughnuts, we gambled with dreidels for a chocolate gelt payoff, we displayed our kick-ass homemade menorahs (yay Hebrew school!)

Isabella and her menorah

And then we sent them on a scavenger hunt. And in true Survivor style, it included a puzzle at the end. We had to make ’em work for it, you know.

Maroon 5 And Owl City tickets

…and then there was a SQUUUUUUEEEEEEEE!

…and then there was a “Dude! This is the BEST gift!

…and then there was a “You are the worst parents ever.”

Apparently, the Maroon 5 and Owl City tickets were well received by exactly 2/3 of the Martell children. She’s still crying about it. Two days later. It seems she doesn’t like to move like Jagger all that much. Or she’s annoyed that she didn’t have a dollar-store trinket to UNWRAP. She wanted a tangible gift, even if it was, like, soap on a rope. Second graders, man.

So, if you’re not busy this February we may have an extra ticket…

Happy Hanukkah, internet.

Or Happy Chanukah, if you are so inclined.

That’s the beauty of this holiday! Spell it how you want! It’s all good! It’s a celebration, after all! Just bring on some more fried foods!


  1. YUM & YAY! (she’ll get over it I’m sure…) I think I’m going to start celebrating Hanukkah! (at your house…) 😉

    Comment by Sandy on December 10, 2012
  2. The only thing Jews like to do more than eat delicious food is to PUSH food on other people…so please, please, please. We’d love to have you at our house over Hanukkah!

    Comment by ali on December 10, 2012
  3. everything I know about Hanukkah, I learned from Friends. The show. Holiday Armadillo, anyone?
    Happy Hanukkah to your family, looks fun!

    Comment by Amy on December 10, 2012
  4. Hahahahah.

    Comment by ali on December 10, 2012
  5. Happy Hanukkah Martells!

    I could be free in Feb! 🙂

    Comment by Kristabella on December 10, 2012
  6. No! You have to be free in March!

    Comment by ali on December 10, 2012
  7. Oh, I will be. It’s on the calendar! I’ll be looking at flights after the first of the year!

    Comment by Kristabella on December 10, 2012
  8. Since it is symbolic anyway we went with gummy fish(heads)

    Comment by Corey Feldman on December 10, 2012
  9. GUMMY FISH HEADS. Best thing ever!

    Comment by ali on December 10, 2012
  10. i remember those jelly filled doughnuts. i crave them. yay for deep-fried goodness.

    Comment by pudgy on December 10, 2012
  11. This is awesome. I was already laughing at the post, but then the Holiday Armadillo threw me over the edge. By the way, I’m totally up for being adopted so I can come see Adam Levine. ; )

    Comment by Jen Taylor on December 10, 2012
  12. Happy Hanukkah. It’s 10:30 at night and after reading this I’m craving cheese, cheese blintzes and latkes. So thanks for that.

    Comment by Kat on December 10, 2012
  13. mmmmmmm….cheese blintzes.

    Comment by ali on December 10, 2012
  14. Ha. My 6yo would also pick a hunk of plastic that he can unwrap over an awesome experience some time in the future. Kids.

    Comment by Rebecca on December 10, 2012
  15. I move like Jagger. Except when I eat too many sufganiyot. Then, I move like Fat Bastard. Still pretty good.

    Comment by mara on December 11, 2012
  16. Happy Hannukah Ali!

    Comment by Heather on December 11, 2012
  17. Your method of describing everything in this article
    is really fastidious, all be capable of easily understand it,
    Thanks a lot.

    Comment by on June 29, 2013

Allowed tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>