Sometimes it’s a little bit awesome that my mom is a hoarder. I mean, is there anything funnier that pulling out your jewelry box from 6th grade to discover the, um, treasures that are still hiding in there? Good god, there is nothing in there that is not a colossal embarrassment. There’s some charm bracelets, some giant mismatched decoupaged flower earrings, four mood rings, and a large pin that says, “cheesecake has no calories when eaten off of someone else’s plate.” No I am not kidding. But I can tell you one thing; Emily is feeling really good about herself and her personal sense of style right about now.
This is a problem because this child has no clothing. Well, that’s a lie. She does have clothing, but, because I am PARENT OF THE YEAR, her jeans are all a size 7 and some of her shirts are a size 6x. She is TEN. I hadn’t noticed that she was outgrowing all of her clothing right before my eyes. I never realized that she was wearing the same three outfits every single day; I just assumed that 4th graders have their favorites and decided it was best not to argue with her. I hadn’t realized she was repeating outfits out of necessity.
So, we went shopping. Four times.
Yes. We did.
And to put it mildly and to try my best to not use any of my favorite British expletives, I will just tell you that we walked away with nothing. That’s too babyish. That’s too granny-ish. That’s too long. That’s too short. That’s too loose. That’s too tight. That looks too cheap. That’s too 3rd grade. That makes me look too short. That sleeve is too puffy. That sleeve is too flat. That shirt has sleeves. That shirt doesn’t have sleeves. That pattern is too busy. That pattern is too plain. Those cuffs are too gathered. Those cuffs aren’t gathered enough.
So, it seems that she has absolutely no clue what she wants…other than the fact that if *I* like it, she wants nothing to do with it.
Obviously, because once upon a time I wore these.
On purpose.
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