** They are also for The Three Musketeers, wizards, Red Riding Hood, and the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Now, I know that many of you will disagree with me here and you will be all, “But Ali! Capes and ponchos are so convenient! They are so easy! Sometimes you are just too lazy to put your arms through actual sleeves! Plus, all the supermodels are wearing them!” and you will try to use these as reasons why this fall’s cape trend is peachy keen.

But, you see, it won’t matter to me, because I am NOT on this cape and poncho love train.

Are sleeves really all that offensive to you?

I, personally, am a big fan of sleeves. My arms enjoy being warm just as much as the rest of me.

Are whole coats really all that offensive to you?

What exactly is the point of 3/4 of a coat? If I’m buying something to keep myself warm, I’m perfectly happy to buy the entire coat.

While capes might look lovely on tiny 6-foot-tall models riding bicycles through London, I don’t think they translate like that into real life. Mostly I think you’d spend your time searching through far too much fabric for your cold arms.

Good cape:

Bad cape:

Good cape:

Bad cape:

Good cape:

Bad cape:

(ALSO. Where are her pants? Why is she not wearing any pants? This screams, like, Harry Potter porn. *shudder*)

Any questions?

(Look sort of familiar? Some of this post was previously published BY ME on another site last year, but the audiences were different and the message is still super important. It’s something that needs to be shared. Today.)